Prevent Thread-Jacking of Nightmarish Deja-vu

[Aeradalia]

Wanted to start a separate thread for this conversation... seemed the polite thing to do...

Anyway, continuing on:

I meant not inside of the nightmares but in real life. What was your self value like while you were awake at the time? (e.g the day before the nightmare)

My nightmares seem to be separate of my current moods at times...

Some of my most horrible nightmares were during times of my life when I was relatively happy (had a new job, finally got something I had wanted for a long time, received good news about relatives...etc)...

Though I have had nightmares during particularly bad times of my life too (nearly starved to death, enduring physical/emotional abuse from bf's/ex-husband, friends dying, days in which flashbacks were really bad... etc.).

My self-value has often been secondary to others --- family members, loved ones, friends, and sometimes even strangers (depending on the circumstances)... though this may have conflicted with how I naturally am, it's put into place nonetheless...

I'm not sure why I am set up this way (I have theories but nothing 100% conclusive). It is difficult to motivate myself to do something purely for me. Often times I have to convince myself it is because another requires it somehow --- that it is my duty; for whatever reason, I am suddenly limitless in my abilities when I follow this mentality. Some part drives me onward then because it feels as though 'I have no other choice'...

[Mish]

Some of my most horrible nightmares were during times of my life when I was relatively happy (had a new job, finally got something I had wanted for a long time, received good news about relatives...etc)...

Interesting. I asked because I thought maybe there was some kind of a correlation or pattern, but now I'm just as confuzzled as you.


Personally, I know most of the time when I have a nightmare I wake up pumped up with adrenalin ready to confront whatever it is that attacked me so I never fully get to experience the actual pain in a dream. These chemicals must trigger the need to be awake. Maybe it's that kind of a mental switch which doesn't get clicked in your case.

I'm not sure why I am set up this way (I have theories but nothing 100% conclusive). It is difficult to motivate myself to do something purely for me. Often times I have to convince myself it is because another requires it somehow --- that it is my duty; for whatever reason, I am suddenly limitless in my abilities when I follow this mentality. Some part drives me onward then because it feels as though 'I have no other choice'...

I think all of us experience this to a certain extent. Fulfilling requested tasks gives our actions certainty and purpose in a way that internal tasks may not. I guess it's a question of balance and how we judge our own needs vs needs of others. What importance we allocate to each and how it gets scaled.