the result

[UKtom]

hey to everyone who has taken the time to read this thread. It is a follow up to a post I made back in feb i think.. anyway 2 recap in short i met this girl by accident on the internet. it wasn't a dating site or a chatroom but we spoke more and more. over time we go to know each other so well. we would spend up to 6 hours a day talking on skype or whatever, (i do have a life by the way.) i'm not a loner who sits at his laptop, i am a DJ and a university student with a passion of photography and graphic design. i have had long term relationships before of up to a year but i have now at this current date known her for just over 2 years without ever meeting her. yet we spent so much time together and i consider her to be my soul mate.

now the problem is she lives in italy and i in england. i don't have much time due to university and the same for her to meet. I have been a bit neurotic and have lost total trust in her. i cannot be so far away from someone i care and love so much. my last post was referring to this, what to do etc. i actually totally ended it a week ago. i have tried to before because it is sheer torment to be always thinking and worrying of what could be. the fact is i will never know. but i always came back because i coud simply not have her out of my life. she is the only girl i have ever considered being in a long term relationship with and i wouldn't have kept any other girl in my life for 2 years without meeting her apart from her. i never even wanted to or went with other girls for 2 years!! but this time i have manged to be firm with my decision. if there is no trust in a relationship it will never be a happy one. so i deided this. if she really does feel the same way as i do, if we are soulmates we will one day be together. if not then so be it. i am not going to let it control my life anymore. the weird thing is, even though i have accepted the fact i need her out of my life right now, that we are nothing now, i still don't feel the urge to go and try to be with someone else.... i wonder how long that will last!?? she could be the most unfaithful, liying 2 faced woman in the world and i have saved myself from a distaster, or she is that person everyone searches for in their, but only i actually found her....

[Lipp]

Another one to add to the...What's the category called again? "Hopeless Internet Relationships" or something, no?

But anyways, how have the two of you communicated? Had a video conference yet, or has it been limited to photos and messages?

[UKtom]

we have emailed, spoken on msn, video chat on skype, hearing each other on the fone and stuff. we even sent letters to each other whicj i think is very personal and traditional. its cool. the 2 years i spent with her were better than any relationship has offered me in reality. even the 2 years i spent with a gir here was nothign compared to the time i soent with someone i have never met. it is not failed, i left it right now, there are many years in the future and if we feel the same in a year or so, we can meet, maybe before. but right now it cannot be...

[Prodigal]

Well, you made the right decision. If you don't trust it on the basis of being someone you can't be with all the time, then you shouldn't be with them.

I think you should ask yourself this, though - why do you not trust someone if they're not around all the time? I've had this problem, and it all turned out to be false. I had no reason not to trust someone because they were far away. In fact, it was a way of expressing my low self-esteem. If you view yourself as a good person to be with, you shouldn't worry about unfaithfulness, especially if you had the kind of relationship you two did. Talking 6 hours a day on skype doesn't allow for much time for other guys.

[UKtom]

i don't know the reasons why i can't trust her. i think part of it is that she has such an impact on my life, she is amazing to me, so unique and special. when i hear her or see her i know she is that person i belong to. but then being so far away and never with me makes me think and worry too much. i have spent many days half being here and half lost in torment and paranoia. i really cannot bear that situation much more so i have done what i have done. it is hard you know, there are times when i am close to asking her to talk, she has txt me a few times saying that she can't stop thinking of me, she misses me more and more, that she cannot understand my reasons. i have replied saying how i feel, that she is everything to me but i cannot be this way anymore. if this summer she comes here as she may well do with her university course, i will go and meet her for sure, without a second thought. i do not have the money or time to go there right now. if we are meant to be together we will... i still dream yes, but i am not going to get my hopes up too high...