How To Go About Getting Back Together...

[jimmy_m88]

Hey all, first post here. I have known this girl for almost a year now. We dated for only about three months, and then separated because it got too hard being that it was a long distance relationship. I got out and dated over the last few months since we split, and I feel like a different and better person in a lot of ways than before. Plus, with school ending, I'll be coming back home. I'd really like to get back with her.

Basically, my whole question is this: Is it bad to just let her know how I feel and lay it on the line, or should I just see if she wants to hang out and see what happens? I've heard people say to go either way, and I don't really know what the best option is.

I mean, I know that to create another "spark" in the relationship, it is best to just go with the flow and see what happens usually. But I've also had people tell me just to take all of the surprise out of everything and tell her how I feel. I don't know though, any help is appreciated! Thanks!

[Henry123]

If it failed because it was a long distance relationship why would it work now since eventually you will go back to school again right?

[jimmy_m88]

Thanks for the reply! No, I'm actually transferring to a more local school. I'll be saving about $7,000 and getting a better degree. So we'll be living about 10 minutes apart again(we will both be living with our parents). Good observation though.

So what do you think? Should I just say hey, this is how I feel and I'd like try things again, or should I just ask to hang out and see what happens? Thanks!

[lolly25]

The best thing you can do is call or message her and let her know that you would like to meet up and talk/have a catch up.

How long has it been since you last had contact with her? Have you stayed in touch?

When you meet up and talk, take it as a chance to see what she has been up to, see if there is anyone special in her life or if she is still on the market. Also use it as a chance to see if you still have the spark.

If she is single and you still have the spark open up to her and be honest about how you feel. Let her know that you are moving back in to the area and would like to give it another go at dating each other.

I think this would be the best thing to do.

I hope this helps.

[jimmy_m88]

We went about 3.5 months NC, and then started talking again. She contacted me in late January and we started talking occasionally and hung out about ten times. We didn't do anything romantic, i.e. no kissing, holding hands, etc. At first she was really into me, and I think I might have missed this or misread it for her just being friendly. Now she has been hanging with another friend more and we talk maybe once every two weeks. Did I miss my chance, or is there still hope when I move back?

I figured she was being friendly because of the fact that I still was an hour and a half away and the distance is what killed us in our relationship. Maybe she wanted to try it again? But she never said anything about it. I don't know, it's pretty confusing. I'm thinking maybe I should just come out and say "hey, this is what I think should happen, do you agree?" and just get my answer. This whole thing is holding me back from dating people. Does this sound reasonable?