What is my problem?

[lostnlove]

Hi everyone,

This is my 1st post on here so I just want to say thanks for any and all advice in advance.

I am having a tough time right now with my GF. We have been dating for 2 years and just recently (1 month) got our first place together.
We have had our little problems in the time we have dated but nothing we were not able to work out and get past.
The 1st week we lived together it was great, just being able to see her anytime I wanted, wake up next to her, hold her when I wanted. The "honeymoon" effect.

Well now and for the last few weeks its like we keep butting heads and arguing over the smallest issues. Yesterday it all came to a head though.
On a long drive home after a weekend getaway we had plenty of time to talk and again, fight.
I hate fighting with her, it does no good at all and never cures anything but it just seems to happen because we are both so thick headed. Esp. myself, she is not as bad.

I know things like this happen, but my problem is I know that alot of the reason's we fight over these things is my fault.
She is a very emotional girl, was raised to express her feelings all the time. Me on the other hand, I was raised with a brother and father. I never really had the "mother" to tell me expressing being upset or crying was ok.
Since being with Abby I have slowly learned it is ok, but I still have a hard time letting things out and it upsets her cause she feels like I never talk to her.

Well yest. on our way home we started arguing again, and she asked me if I needed some time to "myself". Not a break just some time.
I told her no and thought it was handled but surley it wasnt. We started arguing more over another issue and I just got to the point I said, "actually yes I do need a break".
When we got home I left to stay at my dad's place but turned around 1/2 way there and went back home. However I stayed, and slept in the basement all evening after letting her know I was going to be home but I wanted to be left alone for the night.

Im sure I made a mistake in how I handled the issue and now I am very upset and regretting the decision. Abby is upset, Im afraid we might not make it thru this time. Im just confused. I dont know what to do, I know what I want I just dont know how to handle this.
I feel saying sorry and trying to make it up at home just isnt enough at this point. Or am I wrong to be the one to try to make it up?
Please any insight on how to handle,fix this is appreciated.

[L.L]

uhm... dunno this is good or not

but when you said you don't live with mother figure... this abby little by little make you learn to accept women

but sometimes this old trick will help..

both of you and abby sit in the same room with chair face to face... then you must hear what abby must said(don't get angry first) then you MUST tell her what you always feel. because when a woman have fall in love they can process it slowly

wish this can help

btw... I'm new here....nice to meet you

[Yggdrasil]

OK.. yeah.. you made a booboo. It's not the end of the world.

She asked you if you needed some space. Her way of saying: "do you need some time alone to sort things out?" That's very mature of her actually.

You on the other hand were not able to take her advice, take some time for yourself and reflect on yourself. You also don't seem to be able to stay away from her for a longer period of time.

Now, this is what you have to understand: you're not joined at the hip. It's OK to be an individual and have your own interests, friends, hobbies and opinions.

It's also OK to take time appart from eachother if that's needed. Relations can be very stressfull and are a lot of work. Just as with work, you sometimes need a holliday (from eachother). That only can happen if there is TRUST between the partners.

I think you see where I am going with this.

You guys are going to have to work on your individual and your relation problems. I suggest in this case, to seek a couple counselor.

There's no shame in that. Even if counseling doesn't provide you (both) with the tools and knowledge to make this relation work, it'll provide you (both) with the tools and knowledge to make another (future) relation work. It'll also help you both understand better how the opposite gender thinks, acts and sets priorities.

After all, I asume you want a healthy, stable, respectfull and loving relation.

Hope I am making sense here.