Right choice about bf of almost 2 years?

[sweetdreamz018]

I've been going out with my boyfriend, Wynn, for nearly 2 years, and we love eachother so incredibly much. But lately I've been feeling that our relationship has kinda reached a plateau, it just hasn't been going anywhere. It's not like we're having any serious problems or anything bad like that, I just feel that there's more out there for me. Plus, I've only gone out with a few guys before him, and they weren't very serious. I'm still young and in highschool, and I feel that I should have the chance to look around, not just be with the same guy for all of highschool.

Not only has he been my boyfriend and love of my life for so long, he's my best friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship. If I break up with him, I want to still be able to talk to him about anything, like I can now. I want to still be able to to hang out, goof around, and have fun together. I just feel that if he can understand how I feel and everything, then maybe he can still be my best friend even if we're not bf/gf. But I want to make sure he realizes that I still love him and care about him as I always have, I just feel that we've grown to be more like amazing friends.

I don't know if the whole "let's take a break" thing would be the best way to go, because that would imply that I think we might get back together again. Not that I wouldn't ever consider getting back together with him ever again, I just don't want him to get his (or mine, at a later time) hopes up. I think we should just focus on being friends, but if something happens between us awhile later (like, several months, giving us plenty of time apart), then I would still be open to takin a step towards getting back together, if it's something we both truly want.

It seems like I've pretty much made up my mind on what to do, but I just want to know if ya'll think I'm making the right choice and if my reasons are good. I think I know how to approach him about this, because we are so open and honest with eachother, I'm not worried about talking to him about this. But if anyone has been in this situation before, or if you just have any helpful suggestions on what I'm doing, just let me know. Thank you

(Sorry this was a bit lengthy, but I had a lot to say!)

[little_red_sox]

Sweetdreamz,
I have been before where you are now, and my first reaction is DONT DO IT!!
I dumped my first true love about four years ago. As you said, our relationship had come to a 'plateau' phase and nothing was going to change my mind about moving on. I loved him dearly and assumed we'd always be close, but it broke his heart to the point where he dropped out of school because he couldnt bear to see me. As you said, we were the best of friends and he was my absolute soulmate, even after the split i was convinced (selfishly) that after the period of 'freedom' i wanted, we would find each other again, and there was never any doubt in my mind that one day he would be the man i would marry. I craved my freedom as you do, I felt as though i was missing out on something by being with him, and not being able to see other guys.
The reality im afraid, is somewhat different.
I felt as though a huge chunk of me had been ripped away, the first couple of weeks were great.. I did what i wanted, didnt have to explain myself to anybody, but he made so many desperate attempts to talk me round and i pushed him away. But quickly i missed him more than anything before or since.
I hurt him so bad he wouldnt answer my phonecalls, and his hurt turned into anger.. and to see someone i loved so dearly hurl endless parades of abuse at me was something i couldnt stand. It was killing me inside but i left it too late.
My friends reassured me that when i was over him I could go out and enjoy my teenage years like everybody else. But unfortunately i spent my teenage years regretting what i did so badly, that years later it still reduces me to tears. You see, the grass always seems greener on the other side, but it never is. Since then i have had boyfriends who have lied, cheated, stolen from me and one even raised his fist to me.. Guys like the one youve found are VERY few and far between, and you will learn this as time goes on.
I wish id held on to what i had, but now somebody else has him, and i hear shes actually due to give birth to his baby any day now.
It still hurts, even now.
The 'friends' thing NEVER works out.. Ive seen it a hundred times, if he agrees to stay friendly, it is most likely because he thinks there is a chance of the pair of you working things out.. when that wears off there is usually mounds of hostility, and i dont want you to end up where i am.
You really dont know what you have untill youve lost it. Its hard to understand at this point, but you may not love anyone like this again untill youre very much older, if at all.
Please dont make the same mistake as me, work it out and make him happy.. a man like that wont have a problem finding someone to take your place...

Hope this helps x

[oookkkooo]

Listen, I am that guy. No in school though, I'm in my mid 20's and she's late 20's. I was her first real b/f and she used the same excuse, "I've seen to little people and want to make sure you are the one". So she dumped me but proclaims she loves me dearly. I know she does care a heck of alot for me as she refused to break contact with me and told me, after I broke down in tears begging her to not contact me to be friends as it hurts too much, she said "no way" she's not losing me. She still has the false hope that I would get back together with her once she has realised that I would do anything and have done anything I was and even things I wasn't able to do for her.

NO WAY!!!! That is so arrogant for her to think that. After what she has done and how she hurt me, what she put me through just to realise that she made a mistake. If she moves on, good for her, she found someone better. If not, my hurt has since turned to anger and I cant bear taking her back.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself but this is my theory......if you feel you can't be sure because you haven't seen enough men yet then you' never will cause the world has alot of men and you never will be truly happy because u always will think that you've seen enough.

Didn't mean to be so harsh at u sweatdreamz as u r still young and have alot to still experience but I hope you didn't make the same mistake at red_sox, but in the deepest darkest corner of my soul I hope that my ex did make the same mistake and one day will see me with a woman whom I will love will every atom of my being as I did with her.

[sweetdreamz018]

Wow, both of you really made me realize what a STUPID dumbass mistake I would have made... I think part of the reason why I was feeling like that was because I was already kinda depressed the other day, most of my friends are on vacation, and I had just gotten home from France and haven't seen my bf in over a month. Even at the time that I wrote that, I was thinkin' it could just be how I was feeling at the time, and that it would go away- and it did.

I finally got to see him again today, and I couldn't have been happier, I was so ecstatic to see him Even though I realized that I would have made the wrong choice before I even read your posts, it just hit me 100 times harder when I did read them. Seeing him today after missing him for a month, I realize again how much I love him and how damn lucky I am to have him in my life.

I suppose I just needed a little reminding- wish I didn't tho, cuz I feel horrible that I could think for a second that he and I couldn't work out... But I'm so incredibly glad that it didn't go any further and cause me to make such a terrible mistake. Thanks

[little_red_sox]

So glad youve seen sense, sweetdreamz.
oookkkooo, I am sorry to hear what you went through, as hypocritical as it may seem. Can i ask...?? How would you feel if she emailed you out of the blue? Not to ask for you back, but just to tell you how whole heartedly regretful for what she did to you, and that she was moving away and wanted to say goodbye??
Thats what i did in a moment of weakness a short while ago, surpisingly, i didnt get a reply :c(

[oookkkooo]

Sox it would make me feel better that she thinks she made a mistake but it would hurt to think she moved away. Deep down I want her to want me and I want to be the person to reject her. Its fickle I know but I wish she could have understood how much I loved her and still do. I lived for this woman. Every breath I took was for her. Every thought in my mind included her or even revolved around her. She told me that she wanted me to live my own life and not let it revolve around her but I couldn't, I wanted her in every action I take. I was about to ask her to marry me when I was financially stable. I would have given her everything her heart desires. Any thing she wanted I was there for her. I am still there for her and if she emails me today or tomorrow I know I'll be weak and fall back but I shouldn't. I know it sounds arrogant of me to say that she will regret what she lost. I don't mean it like that. I wanted to be a better person for her. She didn't like that. She wanted me to be a better person for myself. 3 months and I still think of her everyday and get depressed.

B.T.W Sweetdreamz I'm glad you will try work out things with this guy and if he is as great as u say you will be eternally happy. Don't ever doubt your happiness :-)

[Metalhead6six6]

Damn, I could've taken this one....