She Says She Needs A Break....confused.....please read..

[Bill mosley]

I AM 26 SHE IS 24

I have been with my girl friend for 3 months now, we met off of myspace, Long story short I am a dj in the entertainment business and she had added me because she enjoys my music. I never even looked past that just thought it was another person adding me, but I wrote her a nice email thanks for the add which i do all people that add me, didn't think it would be much after that but it was she wrote back all happy and I was surprised we started to get to know each other writing emails back in forth for like a week traded numbers, and started to talk and got to know each other for like one month on the phone before meeting which was great i got to know her personality and here we are. I can't complain the relationship has been great until the last month that's when the trust issues came into play and all from her side...

As I said before I am dj at some of the night clubs and such, and shes not use to that life style I mean she had trusted me until she started hearing rumors from people that said they knew who I was and started to bad mouth me and such, and shes from a different state only a hour away but that was never a problem... i try to tell her that's the entertainment industry people are going to talk bad no matter what you know? then she sees a text in my phone and thinks i am cheating on her which i got from a random number which i didn't even know..and still brings that up to this day and it sucks as well as other things like i think ur cheating and such, all from stupid people that don't know me, but I am really good to her and shes great to me..Bare with me guys sorry for the long story and all my questions...I am going to just try and sum everything up in order..

I mean I was never one about the internet stuff and what not but she would take down pics of us that use to be up and would say "I don't like those pics I don't look good" and she would hide her status that she was dating me, but then she made a good point and would say "I like my privacy and don't like being in the spot light like you" Which I really love, someone who finally is dating me for me not because of my name in the entertainment business you know, that's really hard to find! I mean it may sound childish to some but most of us all have a myspace or a facebook. And I would of course get mad and ask her why did you take those down. Then we went from seeing each other all the time to her saying we should not see each other all the time, which kinda bothered me..then again maybe we did move to fast when we first started dating...i was not living with her but sleeping over almost ever night 3 weeks after we started dating and I would go and dj in my city for the weekend then come back to her place and spend the week with her.

She just got laid off from her job as well, so I am thinking maybe that's a factor, I am trying to think up not down. then she tells me after our anniversary weekend and moms birthday (Where I met a good side of the family and they liked me, and she had a great weekend with me for our anniversary) tells me we should take a break but still talk and hang out and date just not so serious..then she calls me the next day later on at night and we talk for like 3 hrs as if we still together and what not like before minus the i love you and i miss you and cute names..she had contacted me two times with text through out the day since she had said that night before.. she sent me a text asking how my day was going... keep in mind we use to talk alot and text alot, I guess maybe that's a bad thing... Like I am very clingy but at the same time she said she liked that, someone to spend alot of time with her so I was just doing so.. I guess what I am asking is should I wait it out or what I really care for this girl alot, I just hope she ain't having sex with anyone else that would upset me alot because she told me the rumors were getting to her and she has been hurt and lied to alot in the past so I can see where she is comming from on that note.

Now the most confusing part of this whole story..I believe girls should have guy friends but they should guy friends they shouldn't send dirty texts to my girl friend even if they were drunk when they sent them, this one guy friend of hers would flirt with her all the time she has known him for some time and then I just found out that she had asked him to hang out soon what should I think...Will they hook up? Keep in mind she doesn't know that I know about her asking him to hang out soon. She told me they never hooked up before so its hard to say... She does not sleep around or do random hook ups so she had told me.

I just feel like shes going to go around and explore sexually now.. Seeing she thinks I am cheating on her..I mean maybe I am just looking to far ahead, I just don't want to loose her, I feel I did this with my clingy ness and jealousy...last thing i forgot to add
was she was seeing this guy they never were official just going on dates... before me like 2 months or so.. he was in the army never really was home didn't ever ask her how she was doing would always talk about what he was doing and so forth and she didn't want to wait around for him so she told me..then I come into the picture and she just stops talking to him, but yet he would still call and call and text her, she said she didn't call him back or text but why would someone keep going on and on if you weren't getting a hold of them...so should i be worried about her going back to him...or sleeping around with other people, or is she just stressed out with the whole job thing balancing that and me..

I just have a lot of trust issues myself I been hurt really bad and let down, I just need some help on to win her back and show her that I really do love her and care for her I just want to know what you all think please leave some feedback....if you need any more information let me know, sorry for the long story. I just thought you guys can maybe help me out, thanks so much in advance for all your time, Bill

[Bill mosley]

I can answer any questions or if you need more information, let me know thank you

[Yggdrasil]

Hm, she sounds like a gall with a lot of luggage and also one that holds resentment.

The question I would ask myself is: "Is this girl right for me."

Frankly, she doesn't sound right in many ways, resentment, taking pictures down on facebook (what does the have to hide?), trust issues, mindgames,.. just to name a few.

In my opinion definitely not a keeper.

I would tell her: "Well, it was fun meeting you, but you're not what I am looking for, all the best and I hope you'll find what you are looking for, but it won't be me."

I think nobody needs that kind of crap in their lifes.

But that's just me of course. Opinions may differ.

[Bill mosley]

Hm, she sounds like a gall with a lot of luggage and also one that holds resentment.

The question I would ask myself is: "Is this girl right for me."

Frankly, she doesn't sound right in many ways, resentment, taking pictures down on facebook (what does the have to hide?), trust issues, mindgames,.. just to name a few.

In my opinion definitely not a keeper.

I would tell her: "Well, it was fun meeting you, but you're not what I am looking for, all the best and I hope you'll find what you are looking for, but it won't be me."

I think nobody needs that kind of crap in their lifes.

But that's just me of course. Opinions may differ.

Thank you for your reply, anyone else?

[Gigabitch]

She wants to be free to see other people, Bill. Sorry. If you want a real girlfriend, she's probably not it.

[Bill mosley]

She wants to be free to see other people, Bill. Sorry. If you want a real girlfriend, she's probably not it.

thank you, but why the sudden change...and why is still keeping me around, is it something i did? is it my job?

[Doc Durian]

Girls trade up and down. Part of their evolutionary make up.

I remember seeing some documentary on desert lizards somewhere in the US southwest. One female, and two different coloured males. One was more desirable than the other colour. Two of the desirable coloured began to courtship square off for her goodies.

The other coloured lizard snuck in during the fight and had his way with her.

She was cool with all of it.

Lizards and girls like options in their potential mates.

[Bill mosley]

She wants to be free to see other people, Bill. Sorry. If you want a real girlfriend, she's probably not it.

Girls trade up and down. Part of their evolutionary make up.

I remember seeing some documentary on desert lizards somewhere in the US southwest. One female, and two different coloured males. One was more desirable than the other colour. Two of the desirable coloured began to courtship square off for her goodies.

The other coloured lizard snuck in during the fight and had his way with her.

She was cool with all of it.

Lizards and girls like options in their potential mates.

so are you basically telling me that i am guy she calls when the others will not be around...and find time for me, it sucks i would be willing to wait for this girl, we were so happy together time is nothing to me i would wait but i just don't want to be let down and replaced if that's the case you know...i am just showing her i care by doing this i was cool with it but when we talked the other day on the phone as i said, it was as if nothing had happen she asked me what did you do today i told her hung out with some old friends and went to dinner and she said what old friends as if she were worried they were girls...i dunno? i just don't want any mind games you know, i know shes a great girl or i wouldn't of been wasting my time talking to her and making time for her...just sucks right i want things to get better and i even told her from the get go i will be here through thick and thin..that's true love you know i think...but you don't see her not having a job right now as a issue or stressed out others told me that maybe a key factor?

[Doc Durian]

You could be one of the great coloured lizards, and this flirtaceous fellow of hers... the other geat coloured lizard, but you're in the clear lead.

But there's always going to be the odd coloured lizard spying at the perimeter, waiting for any openings to sneak into.

Don't stress about it... it's just an example. But make sure you sort out what's going on and not going on with her.

Hanging out with old flames/interests/etc... not a good sign, and very disrespectful to you.

[Bill mosley]

You could be one of the great coloured lizards, and this flirtaceous fellow of hers... the other geat coloured lizard, but you're in the clear lead.

But there's always going to be the odd coloured lizard spying at the perimeter, waiting for any openings to sneak into.

Don't stress about it... it's just an example. But make sure you sort out what's going on and not going on with her.

Hanging out with old flames/interests/etc... not a good sign, and very disrespectful to you.

Thank you very much for ur time on answering this..it sucks that shes going to do that but she says hes just a friend i just don't know...just gotta think up not down...

[Gigabitch]

She doesn't want to share you, she just wants you to share her. It's a double-standard.

[Bill mosley]

She doesn't want to share you, she just wants you to share her. It's a double-standard.

So basically are you saying she wants to sleep around or just go on dates, I mean I would like to work this out, does it seem like we can in that direction?

[misombra]

she wants to be free as a bird.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UmklsO-hMA"]YouTube - beatles[/ame]

[Doc Durian]

If it was caveman days, you'd give him a whooping, and her a belt.... and she'd feel fulfilled that she was with the best caveman she could acquire.

Best to turf her while the turfing is good.

[Gigabitch]

So basically are you saying she wants to sleep around or just go on dates, I mean I would like to work this out, does it seem like we can in that direction?

Um, I guess that depends on whether you're cool with your girlfriend dating other guys.

If you accept it now, she's not going back to exclusivity.