How to maintain long-distance relationship?

[haz4ever]

Hi guys! I have a gf that went oversea for studies. Anyone have experience with long-distance relationship? Any tip you can give to me? I seem to be able cope well at first but now I start to miss her and when I heard frm her a guy is trying to get close to her to date her I would just go into a emotional mood. I really don't know what to do. I love her so much so i just want her to be happy. I even told her to give that a guy a chance if she want, i don't mind. I may have seem to lost my mind or sort. I just don't know. Maybe it just today.

Any one have such experience perhaps some tips and advise could be useful.

Thanks.

[doppelgaenger]

The fact that she is telling you a guy is hitting on her sounds like she is trying to make you jealous. That's pretty typical of young ones.

I am in a LDR right now. It just takes commitment, patience, and everything else a relationship needs. You need to make effort to talk to her every day, and when you can't write her an email or something. Get skype, and a webcam/microphone. Trust me, without skype, your relationship probably won't do so well.

[lesa]

I don't use webcam or anything like that. You must call and talk about regular everyday events and for me, visitation is somewhat often. Anything less than once a month, I would not take seriously. I feel you are wasting their time and better off ending the relationship and meeting again if circumstances allow. Overseas are the very difficult LDRs.

[xd3vilx]

The fact that she is telling you a guy is hitting on her sounds like she is trying to make you jealous. That's pretty typical of young ones.

I am in a LDR right now. It just takes commitment, patience, and everything else a relationship needs. You need to make effort to talk to her every day, and when you can't write her an email or something. Get skype, and a webcam/microphone. Trust me, without skype, your relationship probably won't do so well.

She did not wanted to tell me at first but I told her to on the condition i won't get jealous. She tried to prevent me frm knowing too much already. So i guess she not trying to make me jealous? I heard those more in-depths details frm her friend.

I do love her. Maybe it just me.

[Henry123]

I dont know about long term relationships.
It doesnt seem worth it?????

[breal59]

well, it is difficult to keep a long distance relationship- but i guess that it takes hope and discipline. You should try to not let your frustration get in the way when it comes to her speaking to other guys...as long as you are happy when you are together is what matters. If she finds someone else than i guess her heart does not feel as strongly for you as yours does for her.

[tooxshort]

As long as you have a plan to eventually be together permanently, then an LDR can work. I was in a long distance relationship myself (overseas) for years. We talked everyday (via Skype or landline) and I made it a point to see her as often as I could. I flew out twice a year (during winter and summer breaks) and we spent a lot of time together then ...

Now, we are married and we just welcomed our first child last month ...

Basically, you need a lot of faith, a lot of trust, and an idea of where you guys want to end up.

[haz4ever]

As long as you have a plan to eventually be together permanently, then an LDR can work. I was in a long distance relationship myself (overseas) for years. We talked everyday (via Skype or landline) and I made it a point to see her as often as I could. I flew out twice a year (during winter and summer breaks) and we spent a lot of time together then ...

Now, we are married and we just welcomed our first child last month ...

Basically, you need a lot of faith, a lot of trust, and an idea of where you guys want to end up.

Hi Tooxshort,

I can see you have quite a bit of experience. I have a few question to ask. How do you keep the faith and trust? I mean there will be sure be times when things are not going well and you start to think about negative stuff, how do you keep that focus? It like, it not I trust her, I just don't trust myself that kind of feeling.

[tooxshort]

How do you keep the faith and trust? I mean there will be sure be times when things are not going well and you start to think about negative stuff, how do you keep that focus? It like, it not I trust her, I just don't trust myself that kind of feeling.

That's not an easy question to answer. It'll be different from person to person really. You have to have faith that you are in a relationship with the right person. Faith ain't easy ... I mean, look at how it is for religion ... You either have faith or you don't, I suppose.

If two people can get along and love each other even though they're not physically together while only relying on communication to survive, then that proves the strength of the relationship runs deep.

Sure, you're going to have bumps in the road, but just bring yourself back down to reality and think of how she really is and reassure each other when the times get rough. Think to yourself, "If she was here, would she do this and that?" I bet most of the times, you'll think back on the things that made you suspicious and think, "Damn, I was stupid."

Oh, and remember this ... even though a guy might be trying to get at her, you must believe that you're the best guy out there for her. Don't start giving her guilt trips or anything like that. If she goes for the new guy, then it's her loss. Confidence in yourself as being the best will go a long way.

[LoveHurts09]

don't tell her to give any1 else a chance.... if she wanted some1 else she sure as hell doesn't need ur permission anyway and u might aswell have said u don't care about her anymore.

how to stop the negative thoughts has already been answered, u need to focus on the future, not the present.

[Petit Papillon]

Siema haz4ever
Wkoncu jakis Polak tutaj...

So where did she go? I mean if she`s still in Europe it`s not difficult to visit her no? I mean there is a lot of cheap fights etc... Well if she went on erasmus than it`s just few months and she`ll be back . You just have to be sure to keep contact with her,and don`t make her feel guilty if she has fun there or something... I`m actually in my second LDR and well it`s makeable .
My first LDR was quite hard, I felt like You and I`m not the best example ,but in the second LDR all is quite ok. All You need is to live normally, not to think about her all the time ,cause it will make You more depressed...And if You really love her than You have to trust her, if You start to have stupid thoughts it will ruin everything. Trust me...

[Petit Papillon]

As long as you have a plan to eventually be together permanently, then an LDR can work. I was in a long distance relationship myself (overseas) for years. We talked everyday (via Skype or landline) and I made it a point to see her as often as I could. I flew out twice a year (during winter and summer breaks) and we spent a lot of time together then ...

Now, we are married and we just welcomed our first child last month ...

Basically, you need a lot of faith, a lot of trust, and an idea of where you guys want to end up.

Yeah, exactly. LDR`s first rule is to PLAN to be together someday.I`m also in LDR,but I really don`t feel like in one since we see each other more often than couples that live in the same city And now we live together till the end of september, later might be a bit more difficult if he still be in Spain and I restart my studies in Germany. But we`re ready to fight for our right to ...be together I`m glad we live in times when internet and phone calls are so cheap. Also flights etc. We also set up a rule that we have to see each other AT LEAST once per month Then I think it might work out. If he comes back to France than it will be again like we would live in the same city hehe,besides I plan to do 3 years in Germany and after move in with him and study there where he will be

Actually LDR is nothing special nowadays, everybody is so international anyway,we travel way more than in the past so I think today, LDRs have future So stop that BS that it`s not worth it , Just need to set up some rules

[NoMoreLove]

Ok I read the first few posts, skipped all the rest and all I can tell you from personal experience is:

-1: Most cases of Long Distance relationships does not work

-2: A Guy courting your gf while you're not around for a long period of time is as easy as (insert easy tasks)...although depends on various factors such as: Your Gf's commitment/attachement to you, the interest she show's in the guy, etc etc.

(My Gf left me for a douche that lives on another continent,and she was only gone for a month. FML )

-3: Don't get you're hopes high and be ready for worst, it'll be better for you to deal with afterward.

-4: Find another girl on the side from this moment on, in case things don't work out with her, you'll already have an other alternative.

Like I said, this is only from my personal experiences, I do not grasp detailed knowledge on the relation between you and her nor do I know you or her but in these kind of situation when there is already a doubt, trust issues surfaces and it harms to a good long term relationship.

[mimioreo]

here's a big thing: LITTLE THINGS COUNT. A one minute phone call telling her how much you miss her can be sweet. A text telling her what you did that day can be sweet. Telling her how you saw tons of women but you were only able to think of her is sweet. Little things add up, just remember that. Communication is the key. If your the type that wants her to be happy, you could let her know that it's fine if she wants to try dating someone else (if your fine with it that is..) and see what happens.. you know? (: best of luck!

[Yggdrasil]

I has no clue.