Alternative lifestyle anyone?

[vashti]

Anything beyond tying someone down with a silk scarf or blindfolding is probably too much for me. I don't like pain... not receiving, and certainly not inflicting it, and quite honestly, I don't really understand the psyche of people that do. It's kind of creepy to me. I can't really imagine growing bored enough of using my body as a vessel for giving and receiving pleasure to want to engage in unpleasant things.

[misombra]

different strokes for different folks.

[IndiReloaded]

So, that's it? Come on Little Ping. There are plenty of open-minded people on the forum. And some, like Lite, who can actually teach you a thing or two.

You're starting to make me think you're just another troll.

As for BDSM, I think my tendency would have to be on the giving side if at all. I certainly don't have a 'masochist' mindset. Pain can be an interesting reminder you are alive, but I wouldn't call it enjoyable. Clearly, tho, not everyone thinks the same way.

[Junket]

Sniff...sniff, sniff....I think I smell Identity Politics.

Identity Politics
1. Propose some idea to Others in a subtly judgmental way, as if to say, "Why haven't you taken time out of your life to consider my hidden agenda/interests?"

2. Take whatever response you get from Others as a criticism by the close-minded, bigoted, Status Quo Crowd.

3. Marinate oneself in Victimhood.

4. Lash out, now "knowing" that the Others are threatened by any new ideas/concepts proposed by the Open Minded You.

5. Establish a political base whereby you can Educate Others so as to make them (an if you can get it into legal code...force them) into being accepting of You.

There's nothing quite like Tolerance that you can enforce, is there?

I'm going to steal this from you because this kind of behavior irritates the hell out of me, and I see it all too often.

[little pingoin]

So, that's it? Come on Little Ping. There are plenty of open-minded people on the forum. And some, like Lite, who can actually teach you a thing or two.

You're starting to make me think you're just another troll.

As for BDSM, I think my tendency would have to be on the giving side if at all. I certainly don't have a 'masochist' mindset. Pain can be an interesting reminder you are alive, but I wouldn't call it enjoyable. Clearly, tho, not everyone thinks the same way.

LOL... not a troll. The weekend is over - the child is back from spending time with her father; thus, work and life and duty calls.

I've been home 20 minutes and gotten laundry going, dinner started, the dishwasher filled and talked to my daughter about her day and just an hour until I have to leave for my martial arts class (1st day, I'm no pro). To think that I'm going to throw college into the mix... I'm exhausted already. But excited nonetheless. =)

[IndiReloaded]

Have fun w/the MA. I train too. We are all beginners no matter how many years...

[little pingoin]

BDSM is about relationships. The sex just (often-times) happens to be kinkier than what is considered to be 'normal'.

Bondage isn't necessarily about being tied down. It's simply any form of restriction - movement, sight, hearing, taste, smell.

I seem to have some mis-wired neural pathways because there are quite a few forms of 'pain' that I actually take extreme pleasure from - embarrassing for me, very amusing for my tattoo guy. It has been that way since I was a kid.

And there's nothing more intoxicating than the look of pure appreciation on your partner's face as he takes in the sight of you naked, bound, exactly where he wants you, wholly and completely there for his pleasure.

However, my favorite part of BDSM is the D/s aspect of it - me being the submissive. I also think it's the most difficult part of the equation to master. This is where my penchant for idealism is really going to show itself.

A good Dominant is not unlike a good manager. There's an assumed acceptance for the responsibility of the direction of the relationship. The Dominant is a leader and a mentor. It requires patience, confidence, authority, mental organization, and control. It requires a devotion to personal development and strength of character. It sounds like hard work because it is. It's an active commitment to the relationship.

In return, the submissive willingly sees to the Dominants needs and desires. That's not entirely correct. The submissive enjoys doing so. It gives a sense of purpose, place, and role in the relationship.

Too many people view submissives as people with low self-esteem or no sense of self, weak-willed or emotionally damaged, meek or timid. This is so far from the truth.

What good is a kernel of truth uttered by a liar? A flattering comment given by a rapist?

You cannot give what you do not have. Perfectly healthy submissives are strong, capable people with a passion for making themselves the most important person in their loved one's life.

If any of it sounds familiar, it should. Dominance and submission plays a part in almost every relationship. Those in the BDSM culture just seem to make it a little more black and white.

[Mish]

I seem to have some mis-wired neural pathways because there are quite a few forms of 'pain' that I actually take extreme pleasure from - embarrassing for me, very amusing for my tattoo guy. It has been that way since I was a kid.

Interesting

What kind of pain do you take extreme pleasure from?

[little pingoin]

Interesting

What kind of pain do you take extreme pleasure from?

In terms of extreme pleasure, that would be the tightness of stretched muscles and just about any sensation on my back and arms.

[little pingoin]

Honestly, when starting this thread I was only commenting on the lack of much information/interest surrounding the topic because (in my opinion) the part of BDSM that most fascinates me (dominance and submission) plays a part in so many relationships.

I'm not particularly comfortable discussing taboo sexual proclivities in a public forum. I didn't want this to be about me. That was not the intent.

[Lite]

BDSM is about relationships. The sex just (often-times) happens to be kinkier than what is considered to be 'normal'.

Bondage isn't necessarily about being tied down. It's simply any form of restriction - movement, sight, hearing, taste, smell.

I seem to have some mis-wired neural pathways because there are quite a few forms of 'pain' that I actually take extreme pleasure from - embarrassing for me, very amusing for my tattoo guy. It has been that way since I was a kid.

And there's nothing more intoxicating than the look of pure appreciation on your partner's face as he takes in the sight of you naked, bound, exactly where he wants you, wholly and completely there for his pleasure.

However, my favorite part of BDSM is the D/s aspect of it - me being the submissive. I also think it's the most difficult part of the equation to master. This is where my penchant for idealism is really going to show itself.

A good Dominant is not unlike a good manager. There's an assumed acceptance for the responsibility of the direction of the relationship. The Dominant is a leader and a mentor. It requires patience, confidence, authority, mental organization, and control. It requires a devotion to personal development and strength of character. It sounds like hard work because it is. It's an active commitment to the relationship.

In return, the submissive willingly sees to the Dominants needs and desires. That's not entirely correct. The submissive enjoys doing so. It gives a sense of purpose, place, and role in the relationship.

Too many people view submissives as people with low self-esteem or no sense of self, weak-willed or emotionally damaged, meek or timid. This is so far from the truth.

What good is a kernel of truth uttered by a liar? A flattering comment given by a rapist?

You cannot give what you do not have. Perfectly healthy submissives are strong, capable people with a passion for making themselves the most important person in their loved one's life.

If any of it sounds familiar, it should. Dominance and submission plays a part in almost every relationship. Those in the BDSM culture just seem to make it a little more black and white.

Not all of BDSM is about relationships. It doesn't have to have a relationship in it any more than a one-night stand does.

I could post a want ad for a pain slut to tie up and beat as a one-time thing if I wanted to.

But, I see you're being very over generalized in what it is you're discussing in an attempt to prove some point to people who don't actually really care what your personal love life details entail. Simply because, they're here to help people, and maybe discuss some things. Rather than read about someone trying to prove some sort of personal superiority complex via pseudo-intellectual discussion about BDSM.

Got it, you're a sub and you're seeking validation. What about it?

[little pingoin]

Nope. Don’t need validation. Just because every day offers opportunities to learn why I do the things I do, feel the things I feel, and live my life the way I do doesn’t mean I’m not comfortable with who I am. By nature, I’m curious. I love the world around me. I love to explore it, to test it and to understand it.

As stated above, I hadn’t intended for this to turn into a discussion about me. I offered some details as a response to Indi’s curiosity. I now realize I should have done so privately.

My daughter, my loved ones, and my employers and co-workers provide me with all of the validation a girl could ever need, but I appreciate your concern.

[little pingoin]

You do bring up an interesting point though. Isn’t calling someone out for seeking validation a bit redundant? Is it not true that a good majority of the people that come to this forum are seeking some sort of validation in the first place?

[Gigabitch]

Some. Others seek connection, a sense of community. Many are simply in a panic and are grasping at straws. I know I was, upon first arrival.

[CAM]

I'm going to steal this from you because this kind of behavior irritates the hell out of me, and I see it all too often.

So, you like my summary, eh?

Yes, Identity Politics is all the rage these days.