i'm ruining the best relationship of my life... :( HELP!

[xebra11]

Hello Everyone,

'im new to all this, but i need somewhere to turn to for comfort and advice. I am a 26 year old male and have been in this relationship with this girl for almost two months now. She has been my friend in the past 3 years and we always kept in touch, but never had anything even slightly close to dating/attraction/kissing/touching/etc... in mid july, she msged me and asked if we wanted to hang out and we spent a whole day together and it was that day when i realized how much i liked her.. so i kept it slow and kept in touch since.. everyday.. everything is good now, really good i could say, we have a great time with each other, over the phone, chatting, when we see each other.. everything is going really good... but..

i can't help but find myself really drawn to her.. and there are times i say things and do things which she believes is "moving too fast"... which i totally agree with her.. but whatever i do, every noe and then, i come on so strong that all of a sudden i find her trying to calm things down and back down.. i know she likes me, but i think i'm just ruining this by doing this... like last night we both reazlied we won't be able to see each other for the next few days... i had seen her today.. and i said to her.. "well, i'm glad i saw you today at least... " and she didn't say anything to it... now i know maybe i should have said that.. but i just can't seem to know where the line is when we are talking... i'm a pretty open person and talk about my feelings/ideas/thoughts... but recently i'm learning maybe it's not such a good idea.. am i right? am i getting it right? can anyone help me?

i think to sum it up, i really like her and do NOT want to lose her, so i try to say things and so she knows how special she is.. but i guess i shouldn't say them out loud... at the same time, i think i'm afraid if i don't.. i would lose her... i know it sounds ridiculous.. but that's how insecure i feel about all this.. my past relationship lasted 5 years and i ended it 2 years ago and have been single ever since.. now, i guess i'm portraying myself as this needy person...

any ideas or advice will be wonderful... thanks you so much everyone!

[Gigabitch]

I think it stinks that you can't just express yourself to her, but if that's really the case, just get on here and gush about her to let it out before you see her.

[Graham Berkeley]

I agree with Giga

I would also add that maybe what you should do is back off and not show her so much attention and be a little less available. If she does indeed like you she will probably make up the distance and not have an issue with "moving to fast". Typically a girl will loose interest if you don't back off and let her come running. Dunno why but I've seen it happen all to many times.

[xebra11]

thanks giga and graham.. makes sense what you are saying... the situation is not as bad, i have been in worse relationships in the past... i think she kind of likes for things to happen on their own.. meanwhile it's hard for me because i do not do it this way.. i make things happen... but i have noticed that i can and do make things happen and she goes with the flow.. so i kinda can control this.. but slowly...

thanks for the advice.. it really cheered me up

[jean046]

I agree with Graham chill out. If it is meant to be it will. You said you knew each other before dating right, so what changed. Did you act like this before you start dating her? Women do not like it when men come on to strong or to needy. Get a grip and learn the balance of a relationship. Work on getting your life together mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you obsess to much about what you are doing right or wrong, you will drive yourself crazy and her away. Well good luck to ya.