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Thread: I Need Her Back!

  1. #1
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    I Need Her Back!

    After 6 months me and my girlfriend kind of are taking a break.
    We were together for a great 5 months when I had to deploy because I am in the Navy. We started going out in March and I have been with her pretty much everyday until I left August 6th. We said that we were going to have a long distance relationship until I got back. I get back in early January so only about 3.5 months left. We were very heavy with the emails and phone calls and internet video calls and we said I Love You ALOT, maybe too much that we wore it out (sounds ridiculous). Now after about a month away I couldnt call nearly as much as I used to (like 10 min every other day ) All we had was email, but we emailed each other everyday. Just a few days ago she said that she wasn't able to give me the attention I deserve and maybe we should try when I get back. The two weeks before that she wasnt responding as fast and as much as she used to. She still expressed her Love the same way but it's not the same. I got angry because I jumped at my emotions and said some things that I didn't mean. Before the break up I think I was too overbearing with wanting her to email me all the time. She also is in the process of moving back to Virginia, her home. So she is busy right now but will definitely be settled in a month. After I sent the angry message a little later I sent an apology and said I think she's right and we should take a break or be friends. She sent back that Long distance is hard for both of us and she still loves me. I DONT WANT TO BE JUST FRIENDS, I NEED HER. She says she still wants me to call and tell me how things are going? I realize now that my overbearing nature pushed her away and now Im afraid ill lose her. I heard from someone that I should just break communication and give it a break before I talk to her again. If I can get her back I know that I wont bear down on her when she hasnt replied to my email or missed my call.

    I havent contacted her for two days because IM NOT going to screw my chances up by crying and begging for her back.

    So here is my plan: I won't make any contact with her for 1 month unless she contacts me first. After that I will show her that I have changed by toning down the clingyness and now that she has her own life that doesnt always revolve around me. After a month or so I can start to casually email her about what's going on with me and just saying hello. Not really talking about the relationship or anything and definitley not begging for her back. After emailing and maybe making a few calls that are just playful and casual then talk about where we are in our relationship. Ask her if we can work things out and try again, give US one more chance.

    Soo I need help in how this will play out and if this is the way to go??
    Please tell me what I can do. I don't want to lose her.

    Also, I really want to get her back before I get back from my deployment. I know it's hard getting someone back when you can't be with them in the flesh, but I will do anything.
    Last edited by LukeBrod; 24-09-09 at 12:51 AM.

  2. #2
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    Your plan sounds ok, except the not contacting her for a month could be bad, she may start to feel that you have totally forgotten her and she may move on, so maybe send an email to her every now and then just to let her know that your still thinking about her but don't make the email ALL lovey dovey.

    note:
    I am a guy, so if any females have a better answer to this please go ahead and say so

  3. #3
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    Yeah I kinda thought that a month may be a bit extreme. But don't you think I should wait until she emails me to know she's ready??? Bc I think that she got sick of mee constantly needing attention from her. How long should I wait??

  4. #4
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    Really only you can answer that question, you know her better than any of us, try to think about how long you think she will need. Every girl is different. Or you can email her now and let her respond when she wants/needs too.

    And also keep in mind, she may never get back with you, i have seen some of my friends go through the same thing, and change but the girl just didnt want to give it another go, so you may just have to move on, but then again you know her best so you have to decide when to talk to her again

  5. #5
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    Sticking to NC is the best method of getting her back.

  6. #6
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    Is that No Contact until she contacts me (if she does) or no contact for 2 weeks, three weeks, a month?? Then contact her in a friendly way to start breaking the isolation?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunspot1996 View Post
    Sticking to NC is the best method of getting her back.
    ^ya you would say that........


    she said keep in touch, so keep in touch, you're not together so there is no need for an email or 2 per day, no need for video calls ect...so that's toned down enough. Show her your around, you care and that your giving her her space....no games...games will surely lose her.
    Last edited by Bumble_bee; 24-09-09 at 11:29 PM.

  8. #8
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    Don't count weeks. Back off for now, follow your gut instinct. Give her some space, and if you haven't heard from her for sometime send her a casual hello and see how she responds.
    Anything can happen, and things can change. The best way of getting someone back is to give them space yes. But she asked you to keep in touch. If you can do that, and be a little patient, I would recommend you to do as she said.

    However if it's too painful for you to keep in touch and be friends, then probably NC and just moving on is the only way, if you can't stay friends.

    Also, she should be the one to ask you to get back together with her, not you asking her. You want to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them, right?
    Last edited by ellie; 24-09-09 at 09:48 PM.
    "If you love life, life will love you back."

    Arthur Rubinstein

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ellie View Post
    Also, she should be the one to ask you to get back together with her, not you asking her. You want to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them, right?
    What if she thinks the same way? then they will both be confused and hurt trying to wait for the other to ask the other to get back together.

  10. #10
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    Thanks for all the advice I have a while to mull over my options since I won't be talking to her seriously for at least a few weeks.

    Another question though: I want to get her back in a long distance relationship with me. If I ask her to give our relationship another chance then we will still have to wait about 2 months to see each other. I don't like not seeing her but I think that if I wait until I get back to make my move then it will be too late. How can I get her back long distance? Calls, Video chat???

  11. #11
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