My confused love life i'd like some input on

[Confusedpassion]

Ok so heres the story, my gf was going through a really hard time and decided we needed a break from our relationship. We lived together before this and still do. We've been apart about 2 months now and I dont even know if we'll ever get back together anymore. We never fought before we broke up but since then we have quite a bit up until recently that is. We had a huge fight one night and she told me we'd never get back together, and I really don't wish for that to happen so I've been trying not to cause any problems and things have been really good lately. The reason I wanted to get on here and seek advice is because I'm curious on what other ppl may think about the following incident. About 2 weeks ago a friend of mine asked me why me and my ex broke up, said he asked her and she told him to ask me, I explained that she broke up with me bc she was going through some tough times with work/money/and family (1 family mbr tried to kill himself one did) and that we broke up because she needed a brake from the presure of being in a relationship an dthat initially it was just a brake so we had planned on getting back together. But, we've had numorous fights since then and I'm worried that we may never get back together now and I explained the arquement we had and how she said shed never date me again and her reasons for doing so, which is that we are 2 completly different ppl. And that I'm a great guy blah blah blah but we're ot ment for each other. I really dont want for this to happen because I'd really like to get back together with this girl so I explained this to him and said that I was going to try really hard from here on out to be more of a good friend to her bc she says she hates that I treat her differently then other ppl bc I do like her and she just wants to be friends right now and doesnt like that.... and also that I worry a lot about things she does. Like how we had a party for her Birthday and we all drank and she made out with all these guys and girls there, not me, but a few ppl and I'm not that kind of a person I've only been intimate with 1 other girl before i met this chick and I'm 23 shes 19 now and been with 13. To me something like thats a big deal because its something I wouldnt do because I just don't make out with random ppl and I see it as something more then she does. She doesnt think its a big deal because they're just making out and not having sex. And that its ok for her to make out with guys that she doesnt care about and wouldnt make out with me nor some other ppl that we're there becuase it would make things weird between us, she says. But along with trying to be a good friend I said I try not to be so worrisome or atleast not bring it up when I am because I still have my days sometimes. What I really wanted to know though is I just found out today that when my friend had asked me to tell him why we broke up and my ex wanted me to tell him well the truth is my ex actuaklly asked him to ask me so he could tell her later what I said because she wanted to know my side of the story. I was wandering what other ppl may think of her asking him to do that. I'd like to think that she still has feelings for me, but these days I couldn't say one day I feel like she does other days I feel like she doesnt, and occasionaly i feel both at the same time and that just drives me crazy. I'm very confused right now

[shheadz]

Here are a few thoughts:

• She's only 19, and from her past it sounds like she likes to have fun. She might not have been ready for a serious relationship with you. While she might have like the IDEA of the house with a white picket fence, and kids, and long term relationship with you, and all the things you were probably thinking about, the fact is she is young and still wants to sow her oats.
• You're annoying her. You live together, and probably go out together, so you're around her all the time. Just because you feel like you can spend every waking moment with her, that doesn't mean she feels the same way, and there's nothing wrong with that. Different people have different social needs.
• Her making out with other guys is NOT ok. That's never ok. She's completely disrespecting you. You shouldn't even be asking if that's ok. It's not. Period.
• She's could be asking about your side of the story because she wants to make sure everyone knows she was the dumper, and not the dumpee, and she doesn't want you telling people otherwise. She was just in high school a couple years ago. That kind of thing is probably still important to her.

You're not going to change her mind by talking to her about it, or trying extra hard to be a better boyfriend. She's already made up her mind. In fact you're just digging yourself a deeper hole, and making the situation worse. She's already decided the whole relationship is a drag, and you're making it more of a drag by not backing off.

My advice is you completely remove her from your life, and get on with your own thing. If it was meant to be she'll come back you. If it's not meant to be, then you're just doing yourself a favor by moving on now.

[girl68]

She IS allowed to make out with anyone she likes, she's SINGLE!

The moment you beep one word about this to her she's going to multiply the number by 2 within an hour.

[BoredGeorge]

I think the answer is positive thinking. If you just think positively then everything will be arlight !

[kms]

I think one lesson to be learned here is to be careful telling random people your most personal issues going on in your life. This guy was just trying to get information from you; he wasn't trying to be supportive or caring in any way. You never know what intentions people have when they want personal information - it could be their chance to be the center of attention among your circle of friends for having gotten 'the scoop' about what really happened... it could also be a chance to get information to use against you later... you never know.

If you broke up with her, you should move out. Don't let her keep stomping all over your feelings and making you feel bad by her disrespectful behavior. Have some self-respect, some dignity, and move out. If she wants to get back together, it could be something you could slowly work toward later. You'd need to start over and take things one day at a time.