My life is slipping away.

[rateyes]

1) i used to party, i dont anymore.
2)Im a shy reserved dude, but take chances when they appear.

So basically i lost half my friends when i stopped partying cuz i didnt want to get addicted to alcohol and cigarettes(was starting to see it already happen). And thats all they do now that were in college.

The other half of my friends are all in serious relationships and i dont feel like being a third wheel, or fifth when they are all with their GFs.

Im trying to make new friends, i go to a college youth group thing, but i feel awkward around all the kids, they kinda look down on people who drink, so im afraid to admit i used to and i dont really have much in common with them. My family is athiest but i really feel Christianity callin me, so i want to go for the sermons and stuff, but hte people just dont..."click" with me for whatever reason.

tried meetin people at the gym(where i spend practicely all my free time)...no luck.

I met one girl...but didn't work out,or is soon to be a failed attempt.

met a dude, worked out once, but never heard from him, so that was afailed friend attempt.

so just wondering if anyone else has had this happen, and how ya worked through it. Startin to feel abandoned, and may have to pick up partyin again, and see how i deal with keeping addictions down, only way i can see me makin friends now, kinda saddens me. Not like im not tryin, maybe there are places im not thinkin of that can help.

[CAM]

So, you are bisexual but what are you (sex/gender)?

Maybe you have some psychological problems. One obvious one would be depression. Perhaps you need to take care of your own head before you give it to another?

[Gigabitch]

You give up pretty fast. Look, your friends with girlfriends can be a great source of possible girlfriends for you. Some of them know single girls. Use that.

Get a social job. Try a restaurant.

[qwertz]

So, you are bisexual but what are you (sex/gender)?

Maybe you have some psychological problems. One obvious one would be depression. Perhaps you need to take care of your own head before you give it to another?

where does it says hes bi sexual? ..i thought he meant tried to make FRIENDS with the 'dude' at the gym

[Sanctuary]

Are you still in school? Join a club.

[starbuck]

Yeah I think Cam misread the part where he talked about the guy at the gym.

Are there any sports groups or local teams in your area, Rat? Or networking groups?

Can you still go out with your partying friends and not drink and smoke? I know this isn't the most idea solution, but my husband doesn't drink and still goes out to bars to socialize with his work friends sometimes. He just drinks club sodas. This takes a little self control though.

[qwertz]

he already has

[rateyes]

So, you are bisexual but what are you (sex/gender)?

Maybe you have some psychological problems. One obvious one would be depression. Perhaps you need to take care of your own head before you give it to another?

im straight, and a male. I was trying to make a friend with the guy. lol

maybe i do, i dunno, i dont handle myself well when i dont have people to be around.

[rateyes]

Yeah I think Cam misread the part where he talked about the guy at the gym.

Are there any sports groups or local teams in your area, Rat? Or networking groups?

Can you still go out with your partying friends and not drink and smoke? I know this isn't the most idea solution, but my husband doesn't drink and still goes out to bars to socialize with his work friends sometimes. He just drinks club sodas. This takes a little self control though.

i do ultimate and soccer...but i do it with the party friends.(who i played soccer and XC with in high school). And as far as clubs go, what kind of freshman clubs are there?

and no i couldnt. both my parents blessed me with an addictive personality. meaning if i go, i wont be able to say no.Its hard enough to keep myself away from smoking...itd be torture being around it. only way to avoid it for me is to not be around it or find someone i care so much about i wouldnt want to hurt them.

Are you still in school? Join a club.

Im a freshman in my hometown university. I do intramurals, but its with the party friends(since thats who i played high school soccer with). what kind of freshman clubs are there?

You give up pretty fast. Look, your friends with girlfriends can be a great source of possible girlfriends for you. Some of them know single girls. Use that.

Get a social job. Try a restaurant.

I work at the bookstore on campus. Only work with one girl id be interested in, but shes 17, in high school, and a partier. And my boss is usually workin with us, and shes kinda a prude, wouldnt like me hitten on girls that come in, its about work and work only. and all my friends with GF's....there friends arent my type...their rather judgmental hardcore Christian girls and i cant deal with that. As in they think homosexuals are abominations...certains things i can deal with as "opinions" but thats not one of them( ive tried hangin with their friends, but i cant).

[CAM]

Volunteer to work in a local art museum or at a local ballet or theater (like doing set construction). Anything artsy is a natural draw for the classy/interesting women.

[kms]

Yeah, it sucks to be that type of situation. I used to drink a little for a short period of time, and I agree, there was always something to do, there were always parties... never a dull moment on the weekends. But I decided that I wanted to stop drinking completely for a variety of reasons, so I'm in the same boat you are - what else is there to do now? I used to be a Christian but had too many issues with it so I've officially left it. So all the church stuff is out (I miss the social part of it though; it's a great place to meet people, hang out, spend time, etc.).

So now what? I don't know either. I'm not a student anymore; I teach so I can't really hang out with my students lol... and since I'm adjunct I don't ever encounter other instructors either. I would say you have an advantage as a student because you can always get together with people for study groups, to work on assignments, you can always go to the university library and 'study' - everytime my SO goes to the library he gets hit on, lol... so that's always a motivator I guess. That's good that you do intramurals; that gets you out of the house. Even though it's with the party friends, can't you ask one of them to go for coffee sometime? Or go grab some food? Or even take a trip to the store together or something? You don't have to do alcohol related things with them. You work at the bookstore, so you could just be friendly and easy going with everyone that comes in; strike up conversations - you can make friends pretty easily that way.

[NeoSeminole]

OP, stay true to yourself. F*ck those who bring you down or judge you for following your convictions. Life is too precious to waste being what others want you to be. Instead, focus on becoming who you want to be. I guarantee you will meet people along your journey who will recognize what you have to offer and befriend you.

[rateyes]

Yeah, it sucks to be that type of situation. I used to drink a little for a short period of time, and I agree, there was always something to do, there were always parties... never a dull moment on the weekends. But I decided that I wanted to stop drinking completely for a variety of reasons, so I'm in the same boat you are - what else is there to do now? I used to be a Christian but had too many issues with it so I've officially left it. So all the church stuff is out (I miss the social part of it though; it's a great place to meet people, hang out, spend time, etc.).

So now what? I don't know either. I'm not a student anymore; I teach so I can't really hang out with my students lol... and since I'm adjunct I don't ever encounter other instructors either. I would say you have an advantage as a student because you can always get together with people for study groups, to work on assignments, you can always go to the university library and 'study' - everytime my SO goes to the library he gets hit on, lol... so that's always a motivator I guess. That's good that you do intramurals; that gets you out of the house. Even though it's with the party friends, can't you ask one of them to go for coffee sometime? Or go grab some food? Or even take a trip to the store together or something? You don't have to do alcohol related things with them. You work at the bookstore, so you could just be friendly and easy going with everyone that comes in; strike up conversations - you can make friends pretty easily that way.

all the intramural friends are guys.

and the store - i am, but I dont know many people that go to places of business to make friends with the employees, its Thanks for the help and walks away.

OP, stay true to yourself. F*ck those who bring you down or judge you for following your convictions. Life is too precious to waste being what others want you to be. Instead, focus on becoming who you want to be. I guarantee you will meet people along your journey who will recognize what you have to offer and befriend you.

i didnt know anyone was judging me lol. I was just seeing what was possibly around i could do that i wasnt thinking of.

and as far as museums and stuff go....i live in a...country town, there isnt much to do outside of drinking and partying. its a small college town. other than the recreational activities center we have to workout etc, not much going on in the town, no bowling alley, i dont play golf, no museum, all my classes are single work, so theres no study groups really, and my stuff is easy i dont study for it til finals. Only assignments are tests. The library is full of people ACTUALLY doing work...maybe i was just born in the wrong city.

[NeoSeminole]

rateyes says:

"i didnt know anyone was judging me lol. I was just seeing what was possibly around i could do that i wasnt thinking of."

"i go to a college youth group thing, but i feel awkward around all the kids, they kinda look down on people who drink, so im afraid to admit i used to"

[starbuck]

Maybe you should move when you finish school. You could benefit from living in a bigger city where there is more to do.

Is this feasible?