I broke her trust what can I do?

[Gatorspin]

I've been with my gf for many years now (10) and we've talked about the whole engagement thing for several months and we had agreed on me proposing before the new year. I messed up and I don't have a ring for her. I told her and understandably she is very mad, sad, disappointed, let down, etc. She says that even if I do get a ring now that it wouldn't matter and she needs to think things over (ie. if she wants to wait for me any longer as she has waited for 10 years and I still can't come up with a ring to show her that I am committed). I am committed to her and can't imagine spending the rest of my life without her but I simply messed up and didn't prioritize getting the ring.

She is not the materialistic type at all, but it comes down to me not putting in the effort to get her the ring.

So the big question now is what I can do to right what I've wronged. Should I still proceed to get the ring as early as possible or would that backfire?

ANY input is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

[vashti]

Go get a ring. You still have 24 hours.

[Perryville]

Get her the ring, anyway!! Don't be such a doofus. You can explain a lot better, and she will forgive you a lot quicker, if you have the "bling", in hand.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe you could start by explaining to us right now about WHY THE **** you don't have a ring already. Are you going to say you thought she meant Chinese New Years?

Clearly, you don't want to get engaged or you would have this together. Are you wasting her time?

[shheadz]

Seems to me you would have at least been looking at rings for the past.. oh.. 5 years or so. There shouldn't have been anything left to do except whip out the credit card.

[Gatorspin]

Maybe you could start by explaining to us right now about WHY THE **** you don't have a ring already. Are you going to say you thought she meant Chinese New Years?

Clearly, you don't want to get engaged or you would have this together. Are you wasting her time?

It's not that I don't want to get engaged but I am in the midst of switching careers so I've been swamped. It also doesn't help that I am a huge procrastinator. I know these are bad excuses and there is nothing I can say that can make up for it, but I do honestly want to spend the rest of my life with her. I hope I didn't ruin the best thing that has ever happened to me...

[irrelevant_89]

"We had agreed on me proposing before the new year"...?

This is odd. I thought proposals were meant to be a little more... spontaneous?

[Gatorspin]

Well.. after going out for ten years, it is hard to be spontaneous. By now it's more of a formality.

[irrelevant_89]

After going out for ten years, you could have surprised her with something really romantic without fear of her saying no. Maybe you still can strike when she isn't expecting it?

[starbuck]

Gator, basically you gave her the message that she is not good enough for a ring. This is not the kind of thing you want the woman you love to be thinking, is it?

This isn't about you not prioritizing the ring, it's about you not prioritizing the relationship. After 10 years, wouldn't you know how pissed she'd be about this. Yet you're treating it like a little oopsie.

Go buy her a ring asap.

[Gigabitch]

Dude, when I look back at all the crap my ex-husband did, the thing that stands out as a big red flag early on was that he blew off my birthday our first year together. He knew it was my birthday, but he didn't do anything. Didn't say "happy birthday". Didn't give me anything but a sour look as he was going off to work.

Do whatever you can to ensure that this is not the "red flag moment" for your girlfriend. It's an opportunity for you to make things right, if you look at it the right way.

Don't blow it.