My boyfriend seems obsessed with porn and having threesomes....

[frommetoyou]

My boyfriend and I live together and he works from home. We have sex on almost a daily basis but, while i'm not at home he's always looking at porn and sometimes jerks off. He also seems obsessed with having threesomes with another guy or another girl. He's done both. I have not done either. He's always looking on websites like adult friend finder for random people to hook up with and he talks to some of them too. I'm not quite into the whole threesome thing and I don't know what to think about it. I'm just wondering if this is somewhat normal?

[lhn]

Talking to people about meeting up with them? and he isn't secretive about it? no, no it's not normal.
Having sexual fantasies, watching porn, jerking off, wanting to have threesomes... thats all normal and nothing to be afraid of.
Pursueing those without your involvement or consent... thats a line which shouldn't be crossed.

Confrontation is needed.

[Perryville]

Well, in my opinion, it's a good thing that he is being honest, and not doing this behind your back. Having said that , it's a major red-flag, that he is not considering your feelings more, and is going ahead with this , even though you aren't completely happy about it.

[lhn]

Perry, never thought I would say this to you of all people but don't you think thats a little reserved? lol

[Gigabitch]

I wouldn't be surprised if he goes ahead and has a couple of threesomes and says it's your fault for not being into it. It sounds like you want different things. Maybe you should consider the possibility that he's not Mr. Right for you.

[QueenofCorona]

In college or whatever I used to hear guy friends talk about threesomes and stuff but I doubt any of them ever had the balls to actually go through with it. I wouldn't be down with my boyfriend acting that way, just not my style but thats just me. Would you say he's addicted to porn/sex?

Be very careful, if he's sleeping with multiple randoms get yourself tested.

[lahnnabell]

How old is this guy? I found that many of emotionally immature boyfriends craved the idea of a threesome, but I had an idea that if they got two women into bed, they'd have no idea what to do. I don't imagine it's the red-hot scenario porn makes it out to be (and even then it looks pretty unappetizing).

One of my exes tried to push me into having a threesome because I've been attracted to women for a while. It's not necessarily a strictly sexual thing, but I enjoy the female body and like to admire it. But this guy kept asking me to sign up for sites and to actively look for another female. I was intrigued at first, but quickly grew bored and didn't care to look anymore. This made him angry and he accused me of not putting in any effort. But as a full-time college student who worked 20-30 hours a week when she could on top of making time for her boyfriend, I had enough on my plate.

Put your energies into activities you find fruitful and rewarding. You have to set your standards with this guy and if he doesn't fall in line with them, he's gotta go. This guy will continue to walk all over you if you let him.

[dredgeups]

I agree that a conversation is needed, but I think I might need more clarification on how he's obsessed with threesomes. While going online chatting about arranging threesomes is a red flag, that may just be him acting out his fantasy.

[Sanctuary]

He's always looking on websites like adult friend finder for random people to hook up with and he talks to some of them too.

Your bf doesn't sound like he respects you, ^ that's a red flag no matter what context you put it in.

He also seems obsessed with having threesomes with another guy or another girl.

wtf? Why would any guy wanna do that? What if you cross swords by accident?

I found that many of emotionally immature boyfriends craved the idea of a threesome, but I had an idea that if they got two women into bed, they'd have no idea what to do. I don't imagine it's the red-hot scenario porn makes it out to be (and even then it looks pretty unappetizing).

2 girls naked getting hot and heavy in front you sounds pretty awesome to me from a guy's point of view. Also, it's like everything x2. It's not something I'd actively pursue though.

[lahnnabell]

Well, I pretty much mean the style in which porn is shot. It usually involves two women groveling to some dude with a big d*ck and an ugly face. Gimme lesbian porn any day!

[bloodtippedrose]

I had a girlfriend from work that was telling me that her boyfriend had convinced her to try a threesome. She wasn't too comfortable about it but wanted to make him happy because its just sex, not emotional.
Well they had an experience with a find on craigslist and he liked it, she still felt really weird, but his selfishness took over and he continued to set up sex dates with other people and his girlfriend of course. Well they got into a fight and he had sex with the couple that came over anyway and she was so hurt. In her head it was kinda okay when they experienced it together but it was cheating when he did it on his own.

Either way its messed up to me. I think if you don't agree to have a threesome then he would do it without you.

My boyfriend looks at foot fetish porn everyday. I look at porn too. thats one thing. He might fantasize about 5 girls shoving their dirty feet in his face but he doesnt go out and search for girls willing and say "hey becca! Im thinkin about these chicks coming over and putting their feet in my face.. btw love you!" hell no. If he wants to act on these fantasies then he should be single.
Though if you were 100% cool with it then theres no problem :/ not alot of chicks are though.

[MissAnn]

My ex talked about threesomes a lot too. He would try to justify it by saying "its not that I want to sleep with another girl, I just think it would be so hot to watch you get off from another woman. You two could just mess around with eachother, and I'd watch." He told me he had done this with his ex-girlfriend and she loved it, he loved it, and it helped them grow as a couple.

I agree to each their own, but to me sex is something special between me and the guy I am with, not some random person as well. I told him no!

After we broke up, I spoke with the ex-girlfriend and she said that they never did that, but that he said the same things to her about his ex-wife.

Are you sure your boyfriend has done this? Why does he claim this is important to him?

[bloodtippedrose]

what a lying dick!