Over a month now..

[FrailWings]

Okay, for any person out there who has recently broke up. I hope this thread can help in a way. Look, i know it's hard, i know it's painful. For me the first 2 weeks were the worst. But i promise that it'll start getting better. I was totally love struck with my ex, it's been over a month now, and i'm feeling like my old self.

I've followed one vital rule, No Contact. I can honestly say it works, i'm not feeding the addiction by talking to her, and it's been over 3 weeks of NC, and i can truthfully say it works. It's helped me, get my perspective back now, discover who i really am.

I know, people out there, that it seems there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but take it from me, i'm beginning to see that light. Stay strong, don't come across, needy, begging, to your ex. Just stick to NC, even if it hurts like hell, eventually, it'll all calm down, it'll give your ex time to miss you, it'll put you in a more emotional stable position. Things WILL get better with time, i'm just like anyone else, my heart was torn from my chest. I had that sick feeling in my stomach, i didn't want to do anything. But i just surrounded myself with friends, done things I wanted to do. Kept myself busy, and it's all paying off.

So anyone out there that is struggling, take it from me, i know a month to some people isn't that long, but in this time period, i've felt so much better, stay active on these forums, these forums have helped me ALOT. Work on getting YOURSELF, better. Rediscover yourself, right now it's all about YOU, no-one else. It's time to be self-focused. Do things for yourself, do things with your friends, things that make you laugh and smile. You'll soon find that, there's a world out there, full of people who you can meet, and have a good laugh with.

So just, work on yourself, try to hold NC, there's a thread on here, for posting instead of contacting your ex, USE THAT! People will respond, vent your emotions out on this forum. Everything will get better in time, i promise you, everyone takes different time periods to "get better", but eventually that time will come. That is a complete and utter certainty.

My own personal experience right now is, my ex has eventually unblocked me off msn. And now i don't feel the urge to speak to her at all, sure i have feelings, but they've calmed down, where as a 3-4 weeks ago, i'd be begging her. I'm in a much better place. She's deleted me off Facebook. See now, i'm not that bothered, i'm starting to LOVE life again, and it's her who is trying to damping things, and is becoming i would say "bitter". Although she did end it.

So just keep in mind, get yourself in a better place, focus on yourself. Keep your chin up, stay strong. Get your perspective back, and what is crucial is hold NC. If you're wanting to move on or get back together, HOLD NC. Your ex will speak if she wants to speak to you. You want her to speak to you out of her own freewill. Regardless if you's get back together, or not. At some point, this WILL make you stronger, and you will be in a better place, i promise.

Have a great day everyone, i hope this helped in some shape or form (:

[David V.]

I am doing just that, as well. I am in the process of rediscovering myself, and defining what I really wish for my person and my life. As a result, I am becoming able to live with myself after the breakup experience.

I thank you for having posted this, FrailWings. Both in words and in system.

[FrailWings]

I'm glad to hear you're doing well. A key thing to understand is, your ex isn't your key to happiness, you, yourself are the key to your happiness. You were happy before them. Just remember, to focus on yourself, NC, and remember you do not need your ex, for you to enjoy life or be happy. Keep it up buddy.

[David V.]

Yes. It took me a while to grasp it, but I have no option rather than to accept it. And I might as well do so with a good face.

I do not need her anymore. I am not addicted to her presence or her love anymore. Not to an insane level. But I want her back into my life, someday.

[ism94]

What if you you have split up and he is seeing someone else yet you guys still live together and he is acting as if you are his best buddy. How do i cope with that?

[hoggy522]

Okay, for any person out there who has recently broke up. I hope this thread can help in a way. Look, i know it's hard, i know it's painful. For me the first 2 weeks were the worst. But i promise that it'll start getting better. I was totally love struck with my ex, it's been over a month now, and i'm feeling like my old self.

I've followed one vital rule, No Contact. I can honestly say it works, i'm not feeding the addiction by talking to her, and it's been over 3 weeks of NC, and i can truthfully say it works. It's helped me, get my perspective back now, discover who i really am.

I know, people out there, that it seems there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but take it from me, i'm beginning to see that light. Stay strong, don't come across, needy, begging, to your ex. Just stick to NC, even if it hurts like hell, eventually, it'll all calm down, it'll give your ex time to miss you, it'll put you in a more emotional stable position. Things WILL get better with time, i'm just like anyone else, my heart was torn from my chest. I had that sick feeling in my stomach, i didn't want to do anything. But i just surrounded myself with friends, done things I wanted to do. Kept myself busy, and it's all paying off.

So anyone out there that is struggling, take it from me, i know a month to some people isn't that long, but in this time period, i've felt so much better, stay active on these forums, these forums have helped me ALOT. Work on getting YOURSELF, better. Rediscover yourself, right now it's all about YOU, no-one else. It's time to be self-focused. Do things for yourself, do things with your friends, things that make you laugh and smile. You'll soon find that, there's a world out there, full of people who you can meet, and have a good laugh with.

So just, work on yourself, try to hold NC, there's a thread on here, for posting instead of contacting your ex, USE THAT! People will respond, vent your emotions out on this forum. Everything will get better in time, i promise you, everyone takes different time periods to "get better", but eventually that time will come. That is a complete and utter certainty.

My own personal experience right now is, my ex has eventually unblocked me off msn. And now i don't feel the urge to speak to her at all, sure i have feelings, but they've calmed down, where as a 3-4 weeks ago, i'd be begging her. I'm in a much better place. She's deleted me off Facebook. See now, i'm not that bothered, i'm starting to LOVE life again, and it's her who is trying to damping things, and is becoming i would say "bitter". Although she did end it.

So just keep in mind, get yourself in a better place, focus on yourself. Keep your chin up, stay strong. Get your perspective back, and what is crucial is hold NC. If you're wanting to move on or get back together, HOLD NC. Your ex will speak if she wants to speak to you. You want her to speak to you out of her own freewill. Regardless if you's get back together, or not. At some point, this WILL make you stronger, and you will be in a better place, i promise.

Have a great day everyone, i hope this helped in some shape or form (:

I'm pleased to hear about how things are looking well for you!!!!
I was in a trap with my ex, agreeing to be friends but it hurts a hell of a lot worse, maybe in the future we can be but now i feel NC is best as i want to feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel and your story has given me the courage to follow this through!!!

Thanks, and this forum is helping me a lot!!!

I think it will be tougher on my ex with NC as it was only 4 days yesterday and she started txting me and pesturing me....i cant say that i dont want her back but i need this time to myself to heal as i know i need to be emotionally ready for a new relationship or to get back together with my ex....but i will make her work for me if that time does come!!!!

[FrailWings]

If he's acting like your his best buddy, its an act. Don't play his games, get yourself out, away from him as much as possible. The sheer fact you's aren't together means you need time alone. This is hard because you's live together. But don't play his games, go out with your friends, do things you enjoy. Get more hours at work, anything that occupies you. I'd suggest you move out if possible to help you reciver further. Minimise communciation with him, it seems he is treating like a cushion, don't allow this. Hoggy522 its great to hear your doing NC. Its interesting to know your ex is already communicating. I know NC hurts short term but long term you'll benefit from being, in a better emotional place. You'll not be dependent on your ex, for anything, especially your happiness. Keep it up buddy!

Come on guys, remember you choose your happiness. You chose to be in the relationships you were in, you need to get you independence back, you need to get back to that person your ex fell in love with. Everything now is about you, treasure this time, spoil yourselves. The journey is never easy, but with each day, it eventually gets easier. Get yourselves together, tell yourself you can do this, because you can. It's a blip in a special thing called like. You need these low times to have the highs. Keep the NC going, it'll benefit you hugely, especially mentally and emotionally. It'll help curve the addiction of your ex. It'll give her time to miss you! Get your lives back on track, keep the NC up. This will all set you up in a position, where you're ready for a new relationship or to get back with your ex. This not the end of your love life, it's a meer blip in it, maybe you spent long time together, and fell in love. But, regardless of the circumstances, NC, and, get your perspective back, discover who you are. Spend more time with friends, do things you couldn't do when you were with your ex. Every single person on this forum will eventually pull through, everyone has different time periods of "recovery", it'll all work out in the end, i promise guys. Keep it up, if NC is hurting, post on the forums, people will reply, vent on here.

You're the special person who your ex fell in love with, the core of that person is still there. For example, take a diamond, you're the diamond. But now there's so much "dirt" clogged up around it, that you can't see the diamond. You can't see it sparkle, you can't see yourself sparkle and who and why you're so special. Take time, to rediscover yourself, get NC working, get yourself pulled together, this will "remove the dirt". It'll get you back to that state of being a diamond that shines out and is attractive.

Look at it from your ex's perspective, your a diamond, covered in all this dirt, and now your begging for her to take you back. Will she be willing to take back something that is in that state? I highly doubt? If you were in that unique shining diamond state, after all the dirt has gone, you're more attractive, hence she is more willing to take consider it.

All this is, NC, and all the stuff i mentioned above. I know that was a pretty poor analogy, but if i hope it made sense in a way. Stay strong, you can do this. Here's to another day on the road to recovery.