Is ready to take another go at our relationship?

[Wick]

Ok, so it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. Brief overview, I’ve known this girl for several years. We finally dated for several months to have it quickly peak and then plummet. She wanted to “take a break” to try and get her life in order. Trying to deal with the changes in her life (child, moving home, etc) and having a relationship was too much. Our relationship was great when everything was meshing but terrible when it wasn’t, there was very little in between.

So it was definitely crushing but I understood and accepted her request to separate while she got her life together. Not having her around and trying to give her space hurt (still does) because she is such a great person. No contact has been done as best a possible considering that we do work together. We’ve been separated for a month, haven’t talked except for when we’re at work and the majority of the time it’s work related. Yet with that I try to keep my distance unless I absolutely need to converse with her. There hasn’t been any contact outside of work except to get a few items that were at my place. When she came to get the items she wanted (child stuff that we kept there) she was a little surprised that I had boxed up all her stuff as well. I let her know that it wasn’t because I wanted it out of the house; I just figured she could use it as opposed to having it sit at my place. We had a little chat in which she let me know that she still loved me but needed time. All contact has been very calm and at no point has either of us used our relationship against the other in the work place or outside of work.

So my questions are, how do I go about seeing if she’s ready to take another go at our relationship at a slower pace and when? We both agreed that couple years of emotions and feelings came pouring out very fast when we got together. It feels like one of those double edged sword deals where if I ask too soon then I haven’t given her enough time. But if I let it go then she thinks I’m not interested.

[Gigabitch]

Asking you to hold your breath for an unspecified amount of time while she sorts herself out is pretty selfish. I don't think it would be a bad idea to tell her very clearly that while you still care, you'd like some indication as to whether or not you can ever expect her to come back to you.

You think it's your place to ask. It's actually her place to tell you what's going on, and she's not doing a good job of it.

[Wick]

Thank you for the response. I suppose more or less is the difficulty of confronting the issue and needing to be prepared for her to say "never".

[Gigabitch]

I don't think that's what she's going to say. She acts like she assumes you'll get back together. She said she still loves you. I just think she needs to treat you a little better. I realize she's got a lot going on, but what she's showing you is that you're not important to her.