Self-esteem.

[JD!]

I was recently rejected by a girl whom I was quite crazy about. She said she had no romantic feelings for me although we did kiss. However, one of the key issues she mentioned that turned her off was that she felt I had low self esteem. It kind of took me by surprise because I'd been working on building my self esteem over the last few years and thought that I had finally gotten there. But it looks as I've more work to do.

Now, if I'm honest, in the past, my self esteem has been the cause of more than one relationship break up. Obviosully, this has to change if I ever want a good, lasting relationship which is something I dearly want to have one day.So I've decided to try and do something about it.

I've listened to a few podcasts and read a few websites and they all say that you should start with something small. The problem is I'm not sure where to start. I'm happy in who I am in regards to personality so I was thinking that maybe I should try working on self-worth. I was recently asked on a level from one to ten how I'd rate my self-love. I said "1 or .5." Obviously, this is not good.

Again, I'm not sure where to start but I guess to stop thinking of myself negatively - in any capacity - would be good.

Anyway, I'm going to try it because I don't want to lose another girl I care for because of my self esteem.

[sookie6]

What are the signs of a low self esteem?

How do you think this girl came to this conclusion?

[the_robot]

I think I have a bit of self esteem problems so I'd be interested too...

What are the signs of a low self esteem?

Well, if you feel like shit about yourself, that's a sign... He probably made a bad comment about himself or something with the girl.

[lahnnabell]

Are you incredibly self-deprecating to the point that it makes people uncomfortable? I think it's funny to poke fun at oneself every once in a while, but some people do it A LOT. Like at every turn. They pretend to jest about how they suck at something, or how they're fat or ugly. For other people though, this puts them in an awkward position to defend you against yourself. When someone becomes so self-deprecating it begins to look like they're fishing for compliments in order to make themselves feel better about something.

If you felt good about yourself, you wouldn't need to keep up this behavior.