Need a third party opinion about my girlfriend..

[burtontj88]

Me and my girlfriend are a pretty solid couple, marriage has even been talked about in the future, 1-2 years and even kids later down the line. She asked me to upload some photos on her facebook and the best got to me and snooped around her messages and I found a conversation of her with a guy she used to sleep with. We love each other so I'm confused as to 1. why she would be talking to a guy she used to have sex with 2. send him this message. This was just 4 days ago too..

Girls, guys, any ideas, advice, opinions on this?

[Erica2004]

If she is talking like that to someone else I say get rid of her. You dont deserve this at all. You can find someone so much better who is willing to be honest with you. Dont put yourself through this torture. She is bluntly cheating. Just be careful and dont give your whole heart to someone who cant give you there whole heart back. Does this make any sense??

[burtontj88]

Guess I need to paint the picture a little better. I live in California, so does the guy, she lives in Texas. She's planning on flying here to see me for her birthday and her best friends that are 3 days apart.

[Erica2004]

So basically she was going to cali to see you and see him as well?? Thats a shady girl right there hun.

[burtontj88]

Yeah, I told myself that, and thought about what I'd tell her and build my case. She's merely cheating with words.. I figured if she loved me this would have stayed between her and her dreams, never to be spoken of but I suppose there is something going on whereas this had to be said to him.. As far as physically cheating I don't think that's been done yet to my knowledge, we are a long distance separated and was planning on moving in together in July. But like I said she's coming over here for her birthday and she mentioned getting everyone together, well him as well and I didn't say anything but do feel a little upset that she'd want him around. I mean their only affiliation with each other were f**k buddies and basic friends..

[Erica2004]

true but even if she didnt have sex with him she was talking about it with him. I just hope he doesnt end up to be one of your buddies. Also if she is talking to this other guy about F buddies than how do you know she isnt out doing it in texas. You have no way of knowing. It just sounds like to me she could have another man there in texas if she is there with you and talking to another man there in cali as well. Hey burton do you have skype?

[burtontj88]

She'd be staying with me the 4 days here. Then back to Texas till we get our place together.
I was thinking that a. she is just trying to be friendly and say "hey I'm trying to get everyone together you should bring your girlfriend and come hang out with us" or b. there's something going on between the two of them

[girl68]

I would not get a place with her while she's doing this.

[Erica2004]

Well after reading the lil chat thing. I know its gonna be hard to believe but THERE IS something going on between them. Its very clearly. She shouldnt be having a sexual thought or any type of intimacy with anyone but you. She has already crossed the line. I wouldnt let her move in unless you know for a fact that she isnt playing you for a fool. Or wait she could be using you to move there to be close to him as well. I know some girls can be shady like that.

[burtontj88]

ya i have skype, whats your name?

[Erica2004]

look me up erica.waldroup (im online now so add me)

[Gigabitch]

I'd say he crossed the line, not her. I still think the conversation was inappropriate, but she's not setting up a cheating situation, even if he would happily let it go there. The only think she did wrong was to fail to shut him down completely.

Just keep your eye on her. She shouldn't be alone with this guy, but it sounds like he's with someone else anyway.

If I were you, I'd tell her the guy makes you uncomfortable because you think he still wants to get in her pants and you think it's weird for her to continue a relationship like that. If you were actually engaged or married, you'd be well within your rights to insist that he get the boot but right now, just give her a hint.

[Karmartia]

I think you should be ashamed of yourself for reading her private conversation. Why not just open her diary? Why would you do that in the first place if you weren't already suspicious? If you tell her you read her private shit you'll regret it. She's free to see whomever she wants, you don't own her. If you want her compete for her or step aside.

[burtontj88]

I'd say he crossed the line, not her. I still think the conversation was inappropriate, but she's not setting up a cheating situation, even if he would happily let it go there. The only think she did wrong was to fail to shut him down completely.

Just keep your eye on her. She shouldn't be alone with this guy, but it sounds like he's with someone else anyway.

If I were you, I'd tell her the guy makes you uncomfortable because you think he still wants to get in her pants and you think it's weird for her to continue a relationship like that. If you were actually engaged or married, you'd be well within your rights to insist that he get the boot but right now, just give her a hint.

good observation yeah, he has a girlfriend now. and erica mentioned this, my girlfriend was the one who egged this on, that's the first to last message and he totally had the opportunity to act on this but seems he's being passive or just a good guy for his own girlfriend.
telling her and confronting her about this will undoubtedly end our relationship but I want to sleep on this and keep it in my back pocket like you said.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I totally read that conversation backwards. I realize now that SHE initiated the inappropriate stuff.

She's a weasel. Get rid of her.