He wants me to strip at a strip club where no one knows us (I'm not a stripper)

[nailpolish]

I have a great guy - amazing actually - however, he is rather jealous. I've stopped doing promotional work in clubs because he hates the idea that some guy would be "checking me out" or "hit on me." We've been together for almost 4 years. Recently however, he has suggested that when we go on Vacation "where no one knows us" - I could do a strip show, at a strip club, and then we could go back to the hotel and have sex. I get that it may be a secret fantasy of his... however, I am confused because usually the idea of guys "looking at me" would drive him crazy. When I asked him about it he said it would be something that "would make me happy because I'd have all that male attention." I have no desire to be a stripper, I have nothing against it, it's just not for me. I did explain this to him, and he respects that. I just don't understand why he's usually so jealous about other guys liking the way I look - but then he secretly wants me to strip.... could you explain this?

[SirWagginston]

Did you say to him that his jealousy bothers you? If so, he might be suggesting this as an attempt to make you happier about that. He may feel that stripping is safer because nobody seriously expects to seduce and hook up with a stripper, whereas guys at clubs may have those intentions. Unlike at a regular club, girls we see at strip clubs are automatically assumed to be teasing us. In a way, that gives you a higher status, and it's possible that your boyfriend is excited by the idea of guys wishing hopelessly that they could touch you, and then touching you all he wants.

[Illusional]

hrmm... honestly that is weird. it might be that he gets so jealous of other guys looking at you, that it brings personal satisfaction that he gets to go home with the woman and he's the one who ends up having sex with her. HOWEVER, with him thinking in this matter shows absolutely so regard for your personal moral, thoughts, or respect that he has for you. if i were him, i wouldn't want ANYONE seeing my gf naked. you're for my eyes only, and in the end, my pride shouldn't be worth selling your body over. bottom line, your bf is stupid and if you're not seeing the bigger picture here, then you might need a wake up call.

raverboy

[Mish]

I just don't understand why he's usually so jealous about other guys liking the way I look - but then he secretly wants me to strip.... could you explain this?

Maybe he likes the idea of someone else looking at you as long as it's someone who will have no chance at potentially being with you and thus competing with him? (hence the remote location).

[girl68]

When you're working at clubs he can't see who and what. In this little fantasy of his he can. There is the difference.

[lilly1185]

Stuff like this sits me on edge, especially with the presumptuous "you'd have all that male attention" comment.

Is he jealous or controlling in other aspects of the relationship?

He sounds a little insecure, but even if he seems "into the idea of..." I still wouldn't do it. That's setting you up for a HUGE and explosive fight later.
If he wants you to strip for him, do it in the privacy of your own home. If you're both comfortable going to the strip club, get lap dances from a professional.

As long as he doesn't pursue the issue as you're uncomfortable with it- keep the stripping for the bedroom.
or the home remodel.

[Illusional]

what does he think of your opinion??

raverboy

[Doc Durian]

Stuff like this sits me on edge, especially with the presumptuous "you'd have all that male attention" comment.

Is he jealous or controlling in other aspects of the relationship?

He sounds a little insecure, but even if he seems "into the idea of..." I still wouldn't do it. That's setting you up for a HUGE and explosive fight later.
If he wants you to strip for him, do it in the privacy of your own home. If you're both comfortable going to the strip club, get lap dances from a professional.

As long as he doesn't pursue the issue as you're uncomfortable with it- keep the stripping for the bedroom.
or the home remodel.

If I was a chick, I'd be turned off that my special someone wanted me to act publicly in private for an audience of one who gets off on the facade of me being public in our private bedroom.

Just seems off, to me.

When you truly love and cherish someone, how someone else looks upon them shouldn't matter as much.

True intimacy is so much deeper than that.... and intimacy leads to explosive sex.

As a gal, I'd tell him to get stuffed.