Weird Feeling

[wizardox]

I have a girlfriend whom I have been with for 4 years. I am 24 and suppose to feel fortunate and happy. Many people, even my family think that I am.

I feel fortunate that I have a girlfriend because I find that it is not easy for a person of my shy personality to get one. She is my first girlfriend and I had been single before I know her. However, there is one weird thing.

Everyone is naturally attracted to a certain type of looks of people and so do I. My girlfriend isn't in the "group" of people that appeal to me visually. I didn't mind at all. But as time goes by, I don't know why I feel sad whenever I see girls or friends' gf on the streets that appeal to me. Or even worst when I meet girls of this "look" but I know they are out of my league. It is not any pretty girls but only very occasionally a certain looking group of girls. I would feel so down like I wish my gf were like them for the next couple of days before I feel better. In fact, they are not pretty nor hot but just pleasing to my sight.

Actually, I started to have this feeling only last year. I do not know why I feel this way or could it be the relationship between my gf and me has something wrong? There are a few points in my relationship though that I thought could possibly be the cause:

1. Days are more becoming of a routine. But I am ok though she complains that I am boring.
2. She doesn't look appealing enough to make me attracted to her and I have always wanted the kind of girls that I can't have.
3. She can get quite demanding sometimes. She is the kind who would expect me to carry her items when she buys things, plans our outings and if I don't, she would complain. But I don't really mind. I mean it is just carrying things.
4. We have zero intimacy/sex life. She is against anything, not even just talking dirty. I am almost like a "vegetarian" if u know what I mean.
5. Or could it be communication? I often joke and tease with her and appear as I believe we should be fun. But she gets angry usually when I do that. She used to hang up the phone at least once whenever we talk in the past. LOL. She enjoys more if we talk seriously and discuss about her daily issues. I have to very careful these days to make sure she isn't angry and quarrels with me.

If you were me, what could be the most possible point to make u feel this way?

Though have said those, I know she loves me. I do feel better sometimes when she becomes gentle to me. I like her too when she has her pretty make-ups on and we talk nicely. She is my only and best companion in my life right now. I have a very small social circle and do not have a lot of close friends ever since I am with her. I don't know how lonely I would be if I don't have her now.

Ironically, the weird feeling that I have is driving me crazy. Although it is just occassionally, I am worry about this feeling because it is dangerous. I don't want to see myself to be some kind of jerk. I don't want to be one. Has anyone felt this way before? Why did you think you felt this way?

[Gigabitch]

Being grateful just to have a girlfriend isn't really a good reason to stay with someone, and that seems to be the only thing keeping you there.

I, myself, would rather be alone than in a bad relationship. Wouldn't you?

[wizardox]

That's true but I don't think I could ever go into another relationship. I know very few girls and I usually don't have luck with them. More over, I don't think I am attractive myself to get someone I am attracted to. That's why I am grateful to have my current girlfriend.
However, this weird feeling that I have is quite annoying because I don't feel very right. It is like I don't feel satisfied but this is most probably the best I can have. I feel so screwed up... lol.

[Gigabitch]

Then look at ti this way- you're wasting her time. She deserves to be with someone who cherishes her and actually wants to be with her, which you don't.

[wizardox]

I do cherish her. In fact, I do whatever that I know she wants me to and I could do anything for her. I accommodate and respect her almost everything. We have been together for so long and I have feelings for her but somehow, I feel that something is missing in a whole. And I don't know what's missing or isn't right. But I know if I don't find out what's missing, this "hole" is gonna grow and I will continue to feel crappy like how I am now.

[Neogenesis]

You do not truly cherise her the way she deserves to be cherised, hence you're being unfair with her. And even more so unfair to yourself. You both deserve better. Love should be breath-taking, not the best that came along.