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Thread: So Confused!!! Need outside opinions please... LDR and Open Relationship

  1. #1
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    So Confused!!! Need outside opinions please... LDR and Open Relationship

    About 5 months ago my high school sweetheart and I re-connected on a romantic level. We have stayed in touch over the 10 years since we graduated and were friends and other than the occasional date we had not dated in over 10 years. 5 months ago we started talking again. He relocated from our hometown and moved 800 miles away for work. We thought it was going to be casual being we live so far away from each other. He visited me and then I went out for a week and visited him. It was incredible, our connection was so strong and every aspect was amazing. We sat up all night on many of the nights and talked about what we wanted out of life, goals, feelings, and our situation. We both agreed that the potential for "happily ever after" was there and that we wanted to try. We have been both traveling back and forth, seeing eachother about every 2-3 weeks and talk every day. Most of our conversations are about the future, getting married, having children, etc, etc, etc. Most of my friends who know the situation think its a fairytale because he is being so open, honest and positive about the future and we havent dated that long this time around but do have a long history. We have been making plans for the future, booking trips, vacations, etc.

    I have a child from my previous marriage and he is looking forward to meeting her, doesnt have any issues with it and talks about loving her the same in the future as any children we might have.

    Here's the problem... As amazing as he is with what he says and how much he makes me feel like he loves me and has decided in his mind that I am "the one" he refuses to commit to an exclusive relationship. I have explained to him how much this bothers me and that to me it feels like cheating because he talks about getting married and "our" future however then I know he is dating. He states that he is not "connecting" or "getting attached" to anyone else and I am the only one he wants to be serious with but that being we are so far apart he just cant become exclusive. Since we do speak everyday and see eachtother and are intimate for several days together every 2-3 weeks I really cant understand the need for "physical" when its not that long between visits.

    What does this mean? Should I be ok with it? Should I give it time? I know how I feel about him and I couldnt go and be with anyone else because it would hurt to much even though its hard being alone since he is so far away. It hurts that he can which makes me feel like he doesnt feel the same but then he says things that would totally make you think he is head over heels and wants to settle down... Im so confused.

  2. #2
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    He doesn't respect you, or else he would be more committed to you. Instead of just getting by with masturbation while you're not around, he wants to do other women, and that will pose an ongoing threat to your relationship because he might develop feelings for someone else.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  3. #3
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    This is no good at all.

    I reconnected with an old flame four years ago. We lived 1200 miles apart. We saw each other at least once a month, had those long conversations about life goals, I had a child from a previous relationship,etc. Sound familiar?

    The big difference, though, is that we were exclusive pretty quickly. As soon as we realized we could be serious about each other, we did everything we could to give it a chance. Your boyfriend isn't giving it a chance. he's shopping around.

    That's a dealbreaker, in my opinion. Cut him loose.
    Spammer Spanker

  4. #4
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    Talk is cheap and he isn't backing up his words with action.

    I'm thinking if he was 'that' serious about you, he'd want to be exclusive and only with 'you'.

  5. #5
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    He's not serious about you. His physical needs are way more important than you.
    A man who loves his woman can't wait to commit to her wholeheartedly.
    No such thing as an open relationship. It's an oxymoron.

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