Need some feedback about my boyfriend.

[oldroses]

I'm new here. I just need some honest relationship advice because there's no one else I can ask:S

So what does it mean when a guy is always in denial? I am seeing this guy right now who seems to have this problem with the truth. For example, we had an argument over the phone the other day, he got agitated and hung up on me. I confronted him about it later (after we had made up) and he denied that he ever did it when clearly he did. Only after I threatened to leave his apartment did he admit to it. It seems anytime there's an issue where it concerns him, he denies everything. Like if I catch him looking at another girl, he will blatantly deny it then get mad at me for "accusing" him of wrong-doing, even though I saw it with my own eyes and he knows he did it. He not only denies these sorts of things, he makes ME feel bad for even asking/bringing up.

So what does this mean about him? I want to stay with him because I do like him, but am I treading down a dangerous path here? Will he eventually do something terrible, like cheat on me, then deny it with all his might just as he does now? Should I cut him loose? Does anybody here know anyone like this, or is someone like this, and why do you do it? Replies from women are welcomed too. I just didn't know where to put it. Thanks.

[Rainfall]

I have to admit, i'm that type of guy.... I hate to say but you'll have to choose between 2 things:

1. Go through the huge amounts of fights needed to teach him to stop denying things.
2. Give up

While both are hard, the top 1 is probably gonna ask most from you. My girlfriend has stayed with me, but only after she threatened she'd leave me if i wouldn't stop denying things..... If he's anything like me, he's probably a huge hothead, but he'll probably learn to stop denying eventually.

[QueenofCorona]

I don't know. "Denial" seems like a fancy word for liar/maniuplator.

I don't think I could handle it. If it smells like a turd....

[Just Ricky]

sounds like he cant really express his emotions into comprehensivecommunication, so he ends up acting like a 2 year old.

[hello1]

Okay this is weird but I did exactly what Rainfall g/f did to him! My boyfriend was like that. It got to the point where I had big trust issues with him. He finally admitted to me that he lied/denied because he didn't want to hurt me, bla bla. This was after several arguments and a 'break'. Now I say he is being more honest but trust is still hard and I doubt the relationship. What you really need to do is sit your boyfriend down and tell him he is hurting your relationship more by doing this and hope he understands or your going to have to do more extreme measures. But if you can walk away then do.

[oldroses]

Thanks for all your honest replies. I just had another conversation with him about it and he got completely defensive. He got defensive about his denial.

JustRicky, I think you hit the nail on the head. He most likely is just emotionally immature and unable to express his feelings coherently so he reverts to juvenile tactics. He is a few years younger than me, but how long will it take for him to grow up:S

[Gigabitch]

He does it because he's a weasel and he wants to squirm out of trouble. I'm absolutely sure this goes all the way back to his early childhood. This behavior can be changed, but it takes a lot of effort on his part and he has to actually want to do it. My husband had some of these tendencies a few years ago. His own desire for self-respect made him change. He didn't really realize how shifty he was being. I had to learn how to point it out calmly and consistently, without a lot of high drama. You could do this too, but you have to refrain from making it all about how much it hurts your feelings and make it about his own self-awareness.

[hurt_confuzd]

By using the scientific method, I'm able to conclude that this gentleman is, in fact, a bitch.