girlfriend broke up with me, need advice

[Djames323]

Hello all. So here is my situation. I'm 20 years old. I went to treatment for addiction 4 months ago and met a girl. In my opinion it was love at first site. Im from PA but moves to florida to improve my life. We hit it off immediately. Shes 26 by the way.

We went on our first date and completely hit it off. I met her family and we got along great. We started going out and became intimate right away. It was great. Shes beautiful and i love her personality. we started spending lots of time together, and we were both so happy. We supported eachother in our recovery and were great. About a month in we both knew that this was something special. She was telling me that shes so glad she met me and that Im so much better than her abusing, a hole ex boyfriends. which is true i am a kind person. And she said that even though im younger im more mature than all of her past bfs. She said that shes in love with me and that shes never felt this way about someone so fast.she said it just felt...different. I felt the same way. And that maybe we were meant to be together. we started jokingly talking about how were gonna have kids and get married but it was completely jokingly but there was probably some truth in there.

So anyway her parents LOVE me. Theyre so glad that shes with a good person and say that im polite and treat her well. I met her whole family..sisters cousins grandparents etc and they all love me. So then I had to go back home to pa for 10 days and see my family. About 2 or 3 months into our relationship. We had plans that Id stay with her when i came back until i found my own place, her parents were fine with it. The day before I left, I kinda relapsed. Not technically because it wasnt a narcotic..but I found a pill in an old shorts pocket and took it. It was just naproxen but it had alittle placebo effect. She asked me if i was doing anything and i said no. That whole day i lied to her but she suspected something. At the end of that day I told her the truth. She was very mad but the next day she told me she was glad that i told her and that she loves me. Im very strong in my sobriety and even though that was a very slight slip up i want her to know that I am strong and it wont happen again.

When i went back home we talked on the phone 2 hours every night. Things seemed great..When I came back things were ok for the first day but the second day she told me that when i was gone she got to thinking alot and that she realized that she needs to work on herself and that she wants to take a break. She also slid in that shes annoyed that i depend on her for too much, im too needy and not confident enough in myself. She said me taking that pill changed the way she feels about me. She couldnt explain it but her feelings have changed for me. I was devistated for days but I thought about it alot and thought maybe it is ok if we just take a break and work on ourselves some. I tried to tell her that we could just send less time together and still go out but she wasnt changing her mind. She says she needs space and needs to hang out with girls more. I respect all that because i love her. I made the mistake of asking her too many questions and annoying her because I wanted to know if she still has romantic feelings for me and if she thinks that shed want to get back together after we do out own thing for a while but she just gets annoyed and says I dont have those feelings for you right now i dont know what will happen.

Of course all this is tormenting me and Im trying to put it behind me but im still staying with her and her parents and she works alot so theres alot of tension. The plan is to find a place within the next few days or so but the longer i stay there the more it puts her in a bad position and seems like she floats further and further from me. I might jus try to find a place to stay for a couple days until i get a place i dont know. Im affraid that because I cant give her space until i move out her feelings are changing for the worse even more.

And my bday is in 2 days..it just sucks. hers is in a week. Its weird because even though were broken up she still shows me a tiny bit of affection and asks me to rub her and tickle her but nothing past that..i want to try and get something thoughtful for her bday..anyway..

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. maybe if there anything i can do to increase my chances of getting back with her in the future. Im fairly new at relationships and i feel SO strongly toward her its just so hard to be friends but i have to i guess if i want a future with her..I just hope its not too late.

thanks in advance

[cherriesontop]

Hey there
Really sorry to hear that this slip up has happened. I really hope it works out for you.
If I were you, I would give her the space she needs. I would get an alternative place to stay asap because the longer you stay there, the longer its showing her that you are dependant on her.
You need to show her that you can live independently, so find alternative accomidation as soon as you can!!
Once she has her space, she wil be able to work out just what she is thinking and hopefully this will be that she misses you and wants to work things out.
good luck

[Djames323]

thanks for the input. Yeah I am moving out asap 2 days at most. Guess im just trying to have some hope and it dissapointed me when she didnt give me that. I do think she will miss me. Ill just do my own thing for a while its just hard..i want to do the best thing for a chance to get back together in the future.