baby momma drama

[stillcrunk79]

I have a question for the single mothers out there. Well I met my sons mother about two and a half years ago and things were cool and going good right, but then she got pregnant and we still were cool but we really did not know to much about each other to be having a child together but it happened. Handsome lil man too. But anyway I ended getting locked up for someshit I did when I was a teenager and did like two years in prison in Texas. I heard all of the good talk a nigga wanted to hear at the time but everything stopped about 2-3 months after the baby was born. No letters about how he doing none of that she even moved and did'nt write or nothing. (well I be damned) But I come home see my son spend my time and still spend my time. But I can't get her to open up andsay nothing bout nothing to me. I'm not no bad guy but she straight be trying to handle a nigga and I don't understand why. She be doin' shit like puttin' shit on facebook about niggas she done met and gave numbers too and all that. And the cold thing is I don't even go on her page. This be on like the share with everyone page ya know. I just don't know how to deal with her right now. any insight will be helpful.

[girl68]

how about not use the n word and talk a little more grown up.

[qwertz]

^^ that.

So let me get this straight..you had a baby with someone you didnt really know, and it wasnt planned. You then went to prison while she was pregnant and i guess you were still away when she had the baby?
When you say you spend time with the baby..how much time? do you help with costs/child maintanance etc ? Do you initiate contact with her about your child?

Answering your 'questions' as a 'single mother' ..the way i work it with my ex is that i initiate contact to tell him the important stuff (i.e. my son has been poorly, i will update with any change etc) if he wants to know how he is generally or know a specific thing then he initiates contact by phoning. I also always 'brief' him when our son is picked up/dropped off.
Being a good parent requires effort, it also requires thick skin and to turn a blind eye to certain things, me and my ex dont get on, but i look past that to ensure our son has a happy and balanced life.
Are you wanting to get back together with her? If i were you i would just concentrate on being a good father from now on in.

[stillcrunk79]

Out of everything I said you only saw that I said the n word once.

[girl68]

I have a question for the single mothers out there. Well I met my sons mother about two and a half years ago and things were cool and going good right, but then she got pregnant and we still were cool but we really did not know to much about each other to be having a child together but it happened. Handsome lil man too. But anyway I ended getting locked up for someshit I did when I was a teenager and did like two years in prison in Texas. I heard all of the good talk a nigga wanted to hear at the time but everything stopped about 2-3 months after the baby was born. No letters about how he doing none of that she even moved and did'nt write or nothing. (well I be damned) But I come home see my son spend my time and still spend my time. But I can't get her to open up andsay nothing bout nothing to me. I'm not no bad guy but she straight be trying to handle a nigga and I don't understand why. She be doin' shit like puttin' shit on facebook about niggas she done met and gave numbers too and all that. And the cold thing is I don't even go on her page. This be on like the share with everyone page ya know. I just don't know how to deal with her right now. any insight will be helpful.

and you talk like a thug too... For the most part I can't understand even what you're trying to convey even if I change those offensive words.

[stillcrunk79]

I don't know if you got my first reply.. but if not I did have a baby with a girl I knew but to me I did not know well enough. And when I say I spend time with him I go get him and bring him home with me and my other son I keep him for about a week or two at a time then he goes home to his momma.I'm fresh out and doing my best to get my feet back under me for their sake. And anytime I see her I give what I got not what I can plus ask what needs to be done and all that I'm not just sitting around doing nothing. I've got my past and thats just what it is my past.

[stillcrunk79]

alright not getting anywhere with you... sorry I have a checkered past not everyone is perfect I'm trying though... Have a good evening.

[girl68]

So what exactly are you wanting to know? Do you have a job? If not get one, now. Set a good example for your children be nice to their mothers and treat them with kindness. Do not swear, drink or smoke in their presence. Perhaps look up a single parent or father group in your area (they can be free or a nominal charge).

[stillcrunk79]

Really just wanted some feedback from a woman. And yes I do work and I do set a good example for my kids. I'm just going through some things with my younger sons mother and I don't understand why. I've never put a hand on either one or talked crazy to them thats why its so hard to understand why I get the cold shoulder from her.

[girl68]

and which mother is this? the one where she gave birth while you were in jail?

[qwertz]

Oh come on, the guys explained himself now. Everybody makes mistakes, its not for everyone else to judge when we dont know the facts.

[QueenofCorona]

Just focus on your son, he's the only important thing to come out of the relationship. She sounds like more trouble than she's worth as a friend or girlfriend so the most important thing you can do is suck it up and be civil. She just wants drama. Don't give it to her. Kill her with kindness.

[Kayla]

All you can do is the best you can by your kid. As far as she is concerned, you cannot control her- its best to focus on being the best YOU can be for yourself and your kid.

It seems to me that she shouldnt be chasing men all over town and plastering it all over facebook when she has a child to raise... seems like juvenile behavior.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, just to be clear, did she know you had another son when you knocked her up? I want to know what happened to make her change after a few months of you being in jail. Did she find something out about you she didn't already know?

[stillcrunk79]

I never hid anything from her about anything she knew that it was a possibility that I could go do some time. And yes she knew about my other son before hand also.