Advice please im young and confused

[loznaz18]

I have been "seeing" a boy for about 4 years now. When i say seeing i mean meeting up secretly spending time together and occasionally sleeping together, but there is more there and i know it but he just wont admit it.

it started with him coming over one day randomly and led on since then. In the 4 years i have had several relationships with other guys and just hadnt seen this guy for the duration of the relationships. He has only had 1 relationship and he cheated on her with me. I have ha jelous girl shout abuse at me for being close with this boy and he has stuck up for me. He has met my mum (and she loves him) and has spent time with me just for the fact of spending time with me, but he doesnt seem to want a relationship and because of that i feel that he is using me (even though in the 4 years we have slept together 3 times)

what do i do?

any personal questions to do with this i am happy to answer!

[lahnnabell]

Stop sleeping with him and see if he sticks around. If not, you'll know he was just using you.

[loznaz18]

i havent slept with him for 6 months, and he still calls me and texts me and still meets up with me?

[lahnnabell]

Perhaps he's getting sex elsewhere since you haven't slept with him. I dunno. I think the only thing you can do is ask him straight up about it.

[loznaz18]

ask him what exactly, he says he doesnt want a relationship because he doesnt like the fact that apparently i would text him constantly and need to know where he is all the time and he wont have time to himself. what do i ask him?

[lahnnabell]

Sounds like he's had some bad experience with relationships. Probably had a pretty controlling girlfriend in the past that ruined him. Ask him why he doesn't trust you enough to try taking things more seriously.

[loznaz18]

i dont know, i haven't know him to have a gf but once, and i get too nervous that if i talk to him about it i will just drive him away :/

[Mish]

It sounds like he is happy to continue what you two have been doing all along. You're stuck with it. If it's no good for you then you should probably look for some one else?

[loznaz18]

but what are we doing, is it friends with benefits, is it a open relationship, is he using me, i need him to clarify what it is :/

[lahnnabell]

Then you need to ask him.

[girl68]

Seeing him in secret? I'd never allow myself to be treated as a dirty little secret- neither should you.

[Raze]

When I'm seeing someone, I make sure the whole world knows.

I've had a secret relationship before. I can tell you what that means right of the bat. It means she is emberassed to be seen with you.

[loznaz18]

well its not completely a secret relationship, my friend all know about him and my mum does (in some way or another) and when we saw each other at a concert he stuck with me and my mates and his mates and he kissed me and gave a me a kiss goodbye, and some of his friends know but its not all over facebook if you know what i mean.

[girl68]

Yes, that's exactly what I mean by a secret relationship. My opinion still stands.

[loznaz18]

but people still no, its no so secret that its just us two that know?