Hi there! New to this, but desperately need some advice that isnt from close friends who are biased!
My BF and i have been together almost 5 yrs. In the first year, he was always close to me at night, hugging and telling me about the future (he even had a name picked out if it was a girl!). Then after two years together his interest waned and over Christmas that year he went on about how we wouldnt make it as a couple as he'd be busy with his music, if be busy with my life and we'd go our separate ways. This was obviously an early warning sign!
At this point we were living together. I should point out that he has confidence issues and always seemed amazed that we got together. But he's a lovely guy which is why i fell for him.
So... 3.5 yrs down the line, turns out he's not fond of kids. But still insists when he's drunk that he loves me madly and will marry me one day when he's where he needs to be musically. And TBH, im a mature student and busy with my course, so im in no hurry!
But then, steadily he has become less affectionate, less romantic and now i feel we are more like flat mates. Not helped by two msgs from him yesterday suggesting we make him up a bed in a spare room so i can 'sleep' better.
But yesterday evening, i found out that when we were out at my friends birthday event on Friday, he was big time hitting on a girl there, who is blonder, taller, sexier and skinnier than i now am. He even went on to tell my mate's BF how fantastic and stunning this girl was and how he'd quite happily be her slave if she was only interested. At this point my friend's BF looked at him in astonishment as im not ugly myself and thought 'what is this guy thinking'!
So, this is rambling now but...
He fully intends to be a successful musician.. and he has the talent. He's also nearly 30, like me, so should be better behaved!
If he has now, drunkenly, started hitting on (1) women, whats to say what he'll be like 6mnths or a yr from now (IF) he makes it? And has all these young beautiful girls throwing themselves at him? Or he goes out with his two unattached bandmates and feels left out when they're on the pull? I know i'm answering my own questions here, but its good to work it all out!
So basically it boils down to the trust being broken. Because i fully believe had i not been there on Friday and the girl in question reciprocated his attraction, he'd have been straight back to hers. And i suspect that if he were drunk and various women throwing themselves at him, he'd not resist and would cheat endlessly.
So there, answered my question already. But if i hadn't, it would have been, should i ignore what i know and try to make it work or hope that in the future, if i end it now, i'll meet someone who wont berak my heart and my trust?
Thanks for listening! :-)