sleeping arrangements

[bharris1027]

I have been talking to this girl for some time now (known her for 10 years but romantically for like 3 months), and she has a 2 year old boy. Recently she has been sleeping over at my house and she and her son will sleep in my bed. Only problem is she seems to think its wrong for me to sleep in the same bed as her son because "she doesnt want him to get the wrong impression". Her son loves me to death and I am very good with him and she trusts me a lot with him. Also its not like we do this a lot. Only like 2 time a month. Does she not trust me? Did I do something wrong? She tells him we are having a "sleepover". He loves me to death and even when they do sleep at my house he sometimes climbs out of bed with mom and snuggles with me and falls asleep. Him and I are very close and gets upset when its time to go. Whenever she spends the night with him I am nice enough to sleep on this very uncomfortable pad thingy on the floor and it kills my back. But its more of a principal thing that i cant sleep in the same bed as her. This is BS.

PLEASE HELP! I really love this girl and her son and i dont wanna screw this up!

[IncognitoSir]

Sounds like she doesnt see the comment that wards you to sleep in the bed with her and her son. I can see where she's coming from. You're not at the "father" stage of the relationship. You're not playing the father figure as of yet so she's protective of her son......which she should be. Although you are close to her son, actually sleeping in the bed with them must freak her out a bit. I wouldnt worry to much about, you could have a nice calm talk with her about it though. Just to get some clarification on the issue.

[bharris1027]

so pretty much i just need to be patient? also i didnt mention that the babys father is in prison and will be having nothing to do with him for good. also im just concerned about how to approach her.im bad at these conversations.

[girl68]

I think 3 months isn't quite long enough.

Even IF you are wonderful with him, bringing him into the bed and staying there with you could imply you are now a happy family... and it could be too soon to assume the 'family' angle in that respect.

I say give it quite a bit longer yet...

[Gigabitch]

I voted no, because I think that by two, he should be out of her bed in the first place, especially on sleepovers at other people's places. The fact that she won't get her kid out of her bed is giving ME the wrong impression.

[QueenofCorona]

You have to respect her boundaries.

Even though the kid is a toddler still you make an impression on him, just hanging out with them you make an impression on the kid. I'm not saying you are going to up and take off anytime soon but things happen.

I agree with Giga, the issue of the kid still sleeping in bed with her is a red flag. The boy shouldn't be in bed with HER much less another man.