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Thread: Met a girl, asked her out, she says she has a NEW BF...BUT!

  1. #1
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    Met a girl, asked her out, she says she has a NEW BF...BUT!

    Backstory, so I met this girl probably 8 months ago where she works. At the time I was in a relationship so never escalated it beyond friendly short conversations. I frequent where she works, maybe 2 a month and have a nice chat with her everytime. So there was a period of 3-4 were I didn't see her, and during this time I broke up with my GF. Then as a single man, I see her at her work again. This time we get on a conversation that has an opening to ask her for more info. So I give her my business card and tell her to email me. 3 days later I get an email from her. I tell her thanks and say we should go out for drinks. She responds yes, so I email my number and tell her to text me so I have hers. Next day she does. So we text back and forth a bit, asking questions about each other. Do this for about 3 days. So then I bring up meeting her again, I tell her we should go out to dinner. She responds that she's flattered, but just recently started dating someone, so can't. I respond that he's a lucky guy, but my offer stands and I hope to hear from her soon. She responds 'Sounds good, talk to you soon'.

    So that brings this to present. What should I do? I'm super attracted to this girl and would like to get to know her more. I'm a couple years older than her and own a successful business that has made me financially independent. I feel like I can offer her so much more than guys her age (just out of college age).

    What should I do?

    I respect that she's in a brand new relationship, but she's taking ALOT of steps that showed some interest in me....

    1) Emailed me
    2) gave me her number
    3) said she's go out for drinks
    4) few days of texted after I expressed interest

    My vibe is, she's definitely interested. But feels loyalty to her new relationship.

    Again, what should I do? I kinda feel like a dick, but I've known her for almost a year. Just with relationships and timing we haven't had the chance to take it behind friendly banter. Now she's in a relationship that's probably weeks old? I'm not ready to give up.

    Any advice?
    Last edited by Jared2316; 25-08-10 at 12:05 PM.

  2. #2
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    Again, what should I do? I kinda feel like a dick, but I've known her for almost a year. Just with relationships and timing we haven't had the chance to take it behind friendly banter. Now she's in a relationship that's probably weeks old? I'm not ready to give up.
    Just because their relationship is just a few weeks old doesn't give you the right to rock the relationship. Think about it, you can't read her mind, if you did something that MIGHT upset her, you'd probably lose her altogether.

    I'm a couple years older than her and own a successful business that has made me financially independent. I feel like I can offer her so much more than guys her age (just out of college age).
    You sound like you're trying to buy her affection.

    Maybe you should keep distance for now, just keep an eye on them, see how their relationship goes or just move on to someone else, I'm sure its not that hard for you to do.
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

  3. #3
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    I'm not at all trying to buy her affection. I just take pride in being able to provide for someone.

    I don't know if I should try and act now on whatever little bit of emotions that made her at first say she'd go out with me. Or if I should take a break from the situation, text her in a couple weeks and gauge the response.

  4. #4
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    She has a BF. Hands off.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

  5. #5
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    I think you did all the right things so far and it's up to her now...on her side, I think she's doing like everyone on the dating scene, seeing what's there and keep her options opened.

    For now, you cam second after that other guy...do not feel disapointed over this as you don't have all the details and something drew her to him...something not even concret..

    also from the beginning you probably made it too clear that you were interested and wanted to 'catch her' so to speak...while young women like bad boys, passion and the unexpectable...I picture you as being very grounded, stable and in control of your life which to some women is very attractive but depending on the age and experience can sometimes be a turn off.

    Don't worry there will be other women and maybe this one will contact you again. Please don't act clingy or desperate, just let her go elegantly.
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

  6. #6
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    Yea, you guys are right. Can't win them all!

    I'm going to back away for now. I'll probably shoot her a text in a few weeks just to say hey. If she's single or acts on it, great. She already knows i'm interested, no sense pressing it more.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jared2316 View Post
    Yea, you guys are right. Can't win them all!

    I'm going to back away for now. I'll probably shoot her a text in a few weeks just to say hey. If she's single or acts on it, great. She already knows i'm interested, no sense pressing it more.
    Exactly! Way to go!
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

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