Lost

[Davis]

Okay....

I tried using an online dating site a few months ago. Never thought for a second I would meet someone through it. Beginning in May/June, a girl messaged me and things took off from there. She was a perfect match in terms of interests and morals, etc. I don't think I could ever find a better match. She seemed she was into me as well. We messaged every night or every couple nights. Beginning in August, I got really tired of only talking through e-mail. I gave her my number a couple times saying she could call whenever. I asked if she ever wanted to meet and she said "yeah, I'll meet you at the college campus sometime when I go with my sisters". A month passes and no phone call or text or any talk about meeting. I asked her why she wasn't calling...she said "I'm shy and a little scared" (she had a bad relationship earlier this year). I wrote her a bunch of stuff....and still nothing. Finally, on August 26th, I wrote a long e-mail saying how I couldn't handle it...only talking through e-mail. I left her my number again and told her she was an amazing girl...

She showed a lot of signs that she liked me through her e-mails. She just apparently couldn't press "send" on her phone. I don't know what to do. I told her I was logging off the dating site for the last time. I'm still wishing she will call or text me..or seek me out on facebook.

Does anyone here know something I don't or missed? I felt tortured talking to her at the end. Like I was kept at such a far distance. I could seek her out on facebook I guess....but....I shouldn't have to do that ...and I don't want to...I never got the idea she disliked me or wanted to end things. I told her to always let me know if she felt like we needed to part ways and she never hinted at it.

Help.

[VincenzoG91]

You never talked to her on the phone? "She" might have been a dude. Or maybe she's just a lot less attractive than the picture she used in her profile. Or maybe she's married. Was she local? Or was this long-distance?

[Davis]

Local.

You got me trippin now after what you said....no way she could be a dude...I'd die. I've seen like 8 pictures of her...but who knows I guess.

[SapphireBerry]

Advice - get out more!

[Davis]

Advice - get out more!

Ouch.

......

[SapphireBerry]

Its true internet dating appears desperate, thats when you can't turn to anyone outside the virtual world. There are plenty of women outside who are alot more creative and adventurous instead of ones that sit on a website hoping for a guy to reply to an ad they posted, for all you know they might sound ace but when you meet them they are not what you expect and aren't very socially relevant. Anyway you shouldn't be chasing a girl who just barely responds and makes excuses, you should meet your 'perfect match' in person and not find them on a website, when you meet someone (say in a club) you have a chance to have a first glance at each other and maybe make a connection, its porbably better for you because you have never even met this chick you can't rely on an internet to bring you your love life, go out and get it

[Lite]

You cannot have a relationship ONLINE. Either she's not who she said she was, or she's lying about her situation.

Meeting someone online is not the same as attempting a relationship online. You really just need to move on with your life and drop the infatuation you have for her. I'm sure you'd like to use the word love, but love is a two way relationship that has problems. and real life issues. Online conveniently avoids all of that, which is why the relationships aren't real.

Get out man, join a group of people, do some charity work, heck find some stuff to do via meetme.com so that you can meet new people in group settings.

[VincenzoG91]

I think that internet dating has become more acceptable in recent years. I turned to it because I already had a lot going on in my life, with work, friends and family. I didn't want to waste time hanging out in bars or letting people set me up with women that didn't interest me. But I also didn't waste time on women who lived far away, I only looked at ads of women who lived within ten miles. I live in a big metro area, so that was still a lot of women. And ten miles can be a long drive when the weather gets bad here in the winter. At first, I only contacted women that had pretty pictures in their profiles. But after some disappointing dates, I took a bunch of personality tests at the site and then focused on women with high compatibility ratings. There was this one woman who had a very plain picture, but a 95% compatibility rating. The age difference seemed too high, but we had very similar taste in music. After a few brief e-mails, she gave me her number. The first phone call lasted 3 hours, and our first date was just a few days later. We've been together for seven years now.

[kitkitkitty]

while 'she' may have turned out to not be who she said she was, there are less worrying and just as plausible reasons. the main one i can think of is that she's just looking for a bit of online fun and wants to keep it there in the safety and confines of her own home. she may just need someone to fill the evening/ a certain time of day with conversation but not go any further. of course, there's that bad relationship and if it was really that bad for her then im not surprised she doesn't want to go for a real-life guy just yet. you can be whoever you want online. you also probably went way too fast for her and this is her way of backing off, you shouldn't need to give an interested girl your number twice, let alone 3 times with no reply.

[Charisma]

I think there's a difference between internet dating and an online relationship. The first being dating sites, or meeting someone from the internet, and the latter being a relationship solely through the internet. I think that the first instance can be ok if you're careful, but the latter is just fantasy.

Pictures can be *stolen*, information can be made up, profiles can show a heap of crap if you wanted it to. I used to speak to someone who apparently had a myspace account hacked, but he returned with a different star sign- which rings bells to me because I'm into astrology and the particular site asks for your birthday, not to pick the sign. I had someone on bebo who made up a *stolen pics* album full of other people's pics, and he wouldn't take mine down, and the site didn't care that he had my pic either. I went to a chatroom, and it turned out that a few young teen girls were visiting(like 11-15), and I argued with them on how there's adult subjects that come up, and how people bully others in the room, etc and this girl said she can deal with it!-whatever happened to childhoods! What if there were others who were lying about their age?!?! So it happens far more than people actually think.

I think there are huge disadvantages to both methods though. I love the feeling you get when you are somewhere and you notice a cute guy, or you hear someone with a sexy voice, or there's someone with an amazing smile. And actual laughter is better than "lol". I can get *gut feelings* about people when I'm face to face with them, and pick up body language and stuff, that I just wouldn't pick up from people typing at me. A girl actually being a guy, or vice versa, would be the least of my worries!!!

As for this girl....she could be shy or she could be fake. Either way you've got a perfectly good reason to stop talking to *her*, and you gave them fair warning about it.