I need a man's advice

[m1o9o9n0]

I need a man's advice
Hello there!

I wanted to see if maybe you can help me out understanding my boyfriend.
Now, he is 11 years' older than me, he has a 14 year old kid from a previous marriage that ended in divorce after 18 years. Since he's had a couple of relationships and a few flings.
Fair enough, I've never been one for short stories and I tend to concentrate on my career. Nevertheless I was in a realtionship for 5 years which ended a year and a half ago.
We were not on the same wavelength at all and I'm quite an energetic person and he was rather lazy, so after a few frustrating years, it was time to end it.

Now, my new boyfriend is completely different, first he is caring, loving, helpful, attractive, funny, many an adjective I can use.
We've been together for 5 months and I start noticing that he is trying to slowly move into my daily life, trying to make it discretely. It was just about, one night here, one afternoon there, him telling me that he didn't want to go to quickly as he was hurt too often and wanted to take it slow.
Far enough, I have a house to renovate and I was quite happy to see him a few times a week and none of us was getting stressed, we could^both go about our normal activities.
The last few weeks, I have noticed though that he has been making hints about moving in together, left shirts and throusers at my place if he staid without warning.
Then this morning, he said that he could see himself having a little girl with me.
Wow, now I really do love him and I've never felt as comfortable with anybody before but I have to say that I'm a bit scared.
I made it clear to him from the start that kids are not part of my plans, not only for career reasons but because of a rather bad family history.

Can you explain what's going on?

[rotsomega]

I am kind of thinking instead of starting a discussion he is either hinting about starting a family or is wanting you to start the conversation about having a family.

[Kagerou]

I am kind of thinking instead of starting a discussion he is either hinting about starting a family or is wanting you to start the conversation about having a family.

That has to be the most unhelpful thing i've read.

Have you sat down and spoke to him about this? I know you say you mentioned kids not being in your plans etc, but he may have brushed that off as many guys do. We have this thinking that you push things to the side and deal with just getting the girl first, he may have forgotten or be completely ignoring it. Maybe he thinks if you are happy you will reconsider.

Alternatively you could just say to him that you don't want him leaving clothes at your house, give him small hints back, eventually he may get the hint.

[davidtorres]

talk to him and tell him what you really want. ask him if he can deal with that.