What makes a man interesting to you?

[Gribble]

What the hell do you talk about on a first date if not about each other? Isn't that the point? Get to know your date, see if this thing is viable or not?

Ugh. I can't talk about weather. It's bad enough that the first date is typically spent sitting still in some god awful restaurant or coffee shop. If I can't be actively engaged in an activity at least let my conversation serve some purpose other than filling the void with the sound of my own voice, or worse yet, listening to her drone on and on about nothing.

I want to do, not talk. Talking is for chumps and cowards.

[xxazurexx]

I'd lose interst and if conversation didn't just flow between us.

I loathe being asked questions and made to feel I'm applying for a job. What is your fave colour, tv programme, band, singer, food,drink......YAWWWNNNNN.

Being a chatty type who can talk about anything and everything, I would never be stuck for convo topics. My ex was like me, so we just hit it off immediatley. Any guy not on the same wavelength, doesn't stand a chance :| Conversation is important to me.

[vashti]

I am quite chatty at work with my patients, but in my personal life, I tend to be kind of private and introverted. (This is not to say I can't make polite chit-chat; I can, but it's boring.) I think it's easier to be doing something active on a date (which promotes more natural interaction) than to sit around making mundane conversation.

[xxazurexx]

I'm the exact same Vash...chatty at work, but private in my personal life and I keep myself to myself.

I don't just make conversation with anyone, but I can make convo and when the occasion rises (ie: dating), so I know where you are coming from.

[RockNRoll]

I think you should not worry about any of it. You might be a bit shy, because you don’t have that much experience yet, which is ok. Some girls might think and appreciate, that you are more serious in relationships, rather than messing around or being womaniser. You’ll become more confident with practice.

Here is girl’s advice, not sure if it helps. Notice the way you look someone in the eyes, when you feel comfortable to do it, perhaps you are not even thinking about looking at that time, and try to recall that relaxed feeling next to a girl. She is just a person you are talking to, it’s a usual thing to look in the eyes. I read advices to look on a spot between person’s eyes. Just try to do it a second longer than you are used to.

Not sure about ice breakers, but later on in conversation, especially if it’s not the first one, I find it a good idea, if you express your thoughts, feelings, tastes, memories, opinions, maybe plans and dreams (keep it all sincere, short and positive) and encourage her to carry on with that topic or share the same with you. Maybe you can start conversation in the same manner by commenting something (but in a nice way, not critical), that is going on around you, and again ask her opinion. I agree that it’s better to do something, rather than just sitting, conversation will flow naturally that way.

Here are main things that make a man interesting for me: his genuine interest in me as a person, optimism, good manners, humor and intelligence (brain is told to be a man’s sexiest organ – I agree with that ). So smile, be positive and polite, and don’t be shy to show sometimes, how clever you are.

[breacliff]

great post. thanks for sharing.
Did you know you can say ordinary things like "Please pass the salt" and just by changing your voice make it sexy, make it dirty - even though the words are clean?