Why do women stop having great sex if there's no commitment?

[kevin32]

I recently met a beautiful woman and we had a good first date. The attraction and chemistry was there, and soon we slept together. We've had sex every other night for about a few weeks, and then she brings up the subject of having an exclusive relationship.

But I let her know up front during our date that I just recently got out of a relationship, and I'm not looking for anything serious. Then after a few more weeks of sex with no commitment on my part, she wants to call off the whole relationship because she can't have me exclusively.

What's strange is she claims that she's never had the kinds of pleasurable sexual experiences with any other man before she met me. And I don't even go to her for sex, she willingly comes to me. So I'm like: If the sex is so good, why are you giving it up because you can't have me all to yourself? I'm very attentive to her in bed, I let her know that she's beautiful both inside and out, and I listen to her when we pillow talk. And with each of her hints at wanting an exclusive relationship, I gently remind her where I stand. I enjoy her and the experiences we share, but I just don't want to go out on dates or be exclusive to anyone right now.

So my question is two-fold: Why will some women stop having great sex if they can't have a commitment? And how can I maintain the sexual relationship without her expecting more than what it is?

This has happened to me on more than one occasion, and I'm trying to understand what's going on. Thanks.

[misombra]

for most women sex is not entirely pleasurable if they cannot fully trust that the person they're sleeping with might be having sex with someone else or they think they might be dumped when the next nice girl comes around.

what's that old saying? men **** with their dicks, women **** with their hearts. something like that, i can't remember.

[Petit Papillon]

Yeah, if it annoys you, find some ho' that will not care if you **** with more woman... where is the problem? You don't want to commit to her anyway ,right?

[JELEF]

for most women sex is not entirely pleasurable if they cannot fully trust that the person they're sleeping with

Is this uncommon for men? I've had random one-offs and regular sex with an acquaintance but I've always found it to be dreadfully boring and entirely self-centered. But when I'm properly connected/attached to someone, it's frightfully incredible. It's different experience all together. I don't think at all about myself nor am I fussed about getting off--and certainly not until after she has. The pleasure's not even really from sex per-say, though it's enjoyable. The expression on a well satisfied woman's face--how she looks at me and how she acts afterwards--and the intimacy which follows is infinitely more pleasurable for me.

Without that emotional bond, I must admit, my motivation and desire's pretty low, regardless of how unbelievably attractive the woman may be.

Sometimes I wish this weren't the case as I feel like I rarely connect with someone on such a level.

[misombra]

Is this uncommon for men?

to be honest i'm not sure. from what i've observed it is.

[JELEF]

to be honest i'm not sure. from what i've observed it is.

Was a bit afraid of that. It's certainly not the case with any of my male friends. My best friend's a girl and she seemed to think it slightly off as she rather enjoys sex strictly as sex.

Oh well. I suppose there are worse things in life

[misombra]

well maybe you should hook her up with the original poster.

then go after his girlfriend!

[JELEF]

well maybe you should hook her up with the original poster.

then go after his girlfriend!

Hahaha Win-win. Touché.

[hello1]

A lot of women connect sex with emotions. This woman seems like a no go, your going to break her heart. Its for the best you let her go and move on

[kevin32]

Thanks everyone for responding. A few times I was compelled to call it off, but I secretly wanted her to end it so she would have a sense of justice for things not working out the way she needed. She's still somewhat bitter towards me, but I can only see her as the beautiful person that she is. I wish her the best in finding what she's looking for.