getting over my ex girlfreind and lost my best mate

[currylover86]

hello

this is my first post on here so here goes

Im trying to get over my ex girlfriend, me and my ex girlfriend where together for over a year and lived together for about 8 months with my parents, we broke up/went on a break in august because I had been drinking too much recently and it had got me into some trouble and i was treating her badly when i was drunk which i am ashamed of, she moved out to her mates to sort her self out.

I told her that I would do anything and everything to change and win her back, I really did feel that me and my ex girlfriend where going to get married and have kids and live happily every after, I would do anything for her because I loved her that much, we started to meet up in a morning just for a chat and a drink before I went to work and on a few occasions I gave her some money because she didnt work and I didnt want to see her struggle.

I really thought we where going to get back together, she told me that she would stand by me and support me through my drink problem, i helped her through alot and when she needed my help with other things, but the day before I was meant to see someone about the drinking in September, she went off with another guy who is jobless and a drug user, I was devastated I couldnt stop crying, whilst I was with her I bought her loads of clothes, shoes, DVDs, took her out for meals, cinemas, bowling and she lived at my parents house rent free, what can this other guy offer? I know my drinking affected our relationship but cant she see I wanted to change for her and our relationship beacuse i love her?

Ive started going to anger management and to a alcohol advisory service originally i went for her but now im going for myself because I want to change and I dont want to lose anyone that I love anymore because of drinking. I know I must change or Im going to be alone and unhappy and I dont want that.

I also lost my best mate too he was telling my ex everything I said to him, now I feel pretty alone and well crap, Ive just tried to keep myself busy exercising, working hard and doing things I enjoy but I just cant get my ex girlfriend out of my head I just want to tell her I love her and cuddle and kiss her and I really feel we could work it out, I shouldnt feel like this but I do?

everyone says im better off without her

thanks for reading sorry for the SA needed to get things off my chest