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Thread: I love my girlfriend, but she doesn't love me

  1. #1
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    I love my girlfriend, but she doesn't love me

    I've been a good friend of this girl for 2 years. I've loved her almost for an entire year, but she had a boyfriend. She loved him, and he dumped her for another girl. A week after she left her boyfriend I kissed her (after flirting a bit over the internet) and she became my girlfriend.

    We have been in a relationship for almost a month now, and I told her that she is everything for me, and I really love her.

    She told me that she likes me but she doesn't yet feel the same feelings I have for her. She doesn't love me.

    I told her that if she didn't love me now she probably would have never loved me... She told me she may or may not fall in love with me and that only time will tell.

    When we are together we kiss and we have a good time, but after she said this I'm starting to think in a pessimistic way: maybe she only likes me because she had no boyfriend and she just wanted one. Or maybe she doesn't love me and she never will.

    My current plan is to wait another month, and see how things go. If things stay the same, I'm gonna tell her this relationship will not work and leave her. I love her, but if she doesn't feel the same for me I just have to deal with it and move on.

    Any advice?

  2. #2
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    No need for advice. You already said and know what you want to do.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  3. #3
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    don't wait.. Say it to her now.. Who knows one of this day, she'll find a guy down the street that want to share with the rest of her life.. Too bad you're late to say what you feel.

  4. #4
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    You kinda waited to long . . .you knew her for 2 years and then you waited 1 year to tell her you loved her. . . it's good you waited till her relationship was over but it might be too soon after her break up (ONE WEEK)? Maybe take it a bit easier but keep on being with her, these things take time.

  5. #5
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    I think you are being unfair to her. You can't demand someone feel the same way after she just got out of a relationship. If she didn't like you, that would be a problem. Don't make her say it and not mean it.

  6. #6
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    You've been in a relationship for less than a month and you expect her to already be in love with you? That's unrealistic and unfair. But go ahead and give her an ultimatum if you must. Just don't expect a happy ending.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperV1234 View Post
    We have been in a relationship for almost a month now, and I told her that she is everything for me, and I really love her.
    you're lucky she didn't get right up and leave =\

    thats the equivalent of a relationship hand grenade right there, ESPECIALLY is was with a different guy who left her 5 weeks ago..

  8. #8
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    This is my first serious relationship to be honest. I'm young and unexperienced. How long should I wait before telling a girl what my feelings are?

  9. #9
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    You've already said enough to her, now just try to relax and wait for her to reciprocate. Next time, wait as long as you can. Men are expected to be less open about their feelings, so try to wait until the woman says it first, or until it's just very obvious that you are both in love with each other.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperV1234 View Post
    This is my first serious relationship to be honest. I'm young and unexperienced. How long should I wait before telling a girl what my feelings are?
    you have to understand here that her feelings are not in line with yours yet.. you have been crushing on her hard for a year, while she was in an relationship until 2 months ago.. she needs time to accept and digest that then slowly move on to you.. its not a light switch shes turning on and off. Under other circumstances this might not be as bad, but you need to see it from her perspective. It probably feels like a lot of pressure to her.

    As was mentioned by Vincenzo, a good rule is to wait.. a long time.. your learn why as you get more experienced in this world. But until then, try and stick to that.

  11. #11
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    Dude I would say it's way too early to say I love you and that you should give her some time to think she just got out of a 2 year relationship chill! I think it would be weirder if she did say she loved you so early in the relationship. Give her a break and some room to breath don't stress and smother her because then she'll want to leave you and you're not giving what could be a great a relationship an opportunity to grow. I also think you kind of made a mistake by asking her to be your gf so quickly you should have let her have sometime to stand on her own two feet to think about stuff and her life and what she wants to do. you kind of threw her straight into another relationship so that she had no time to settle things and she may have mixed feelings right now. You can't expect anyone to love you instantly these things take time and you shouldn't rush her ok?

  12. #12
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    Honestly, she probably shouldn't been in a relationship with you at all right now. Her ex just dumped her weeks ago, and I'm sure she's still in love with him and thinks about him all the time. She's moving too fast and you're expecting waaaaaaay too much. You can't put a time on how fast someone must fall in love with you. You need to chill out, if you keep acting like this, you'll definitely end up pushing her away from you.

  13. #13
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    While I don't mean to offend you it obviously sounds like you are much more into her than she is into you. I think the right thing to do is to forget about this girl and just move on. Trust me I've been there several times.

  14. #14
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    I agree with everybody man. You gotta keep that stuff inside until the time is right. Considering she JUST broke up with a guy she "loved" (not liked, 100 times different), your relationship to here is more emotional support then anything. Yeah she might be attracted to you but honestly she is more then anything just comforted by your company. The fact that you told her you basically love her is a huge turn off for sure, because she is more then likley still in love with her x, (unless she is in denial haha). However, that is assuming that she was actually in love with this guy.

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