help! made a stupid mistake with an ugly girl

[pickler]

I didnt know where to go for help so i turned to this site but i desperately need help and i can't focus on my school properly because of this issue. I apologize if my story is a bit long but i though to give as much details to get this problem sorted out properly. thanks in advance.

I travel to college by car and so i carpool a lot by driving my friends around and if they live near me they get a ride home. one of my classmates who is a girl was getting a car rides home from me last week and she shocked me with a question. we were both alone in the car and just had a good long conversation about music until she poped the question if she could come to my house. i was so shocked i didn't know what to say! i don't have problem with girls i mean i have dated women but none ever ugly and i never really considered this girl anything more than a friend. Anyway i was lost for words and i ended up saying nothing and then she smiled at me asking again that maybe i could make her a drink at my house. Starting to feel very uncomfortable i was searching for what to say and so as to not to hurt her feelings i said i am busy with school assignment tonight and perhaps tomorrow. To even worsen things off just before she got off the car she gave me hug and said "see you tomorrow then". i don't know what to do now if my friends find out about this i will be a big joke as they have always seen me with much better looking girls and also i personally don't feel attracted to her. anyway the day after i was trying to avoid her and told my friends that i have to go somewhere and i couldn't drive them home. However i ran into her in the staircase and she started talking to me and i really couldnt manage to blow her off. She followed me to the car and easily welcomed herself inside. I asked if she was getting off at her home and she said there is some burger place we should go eat. I was relieved thinking that she is not going to my house after all. However she demanded to pay for my food and said i can cover next time. feeling a bit uncomfortable again i agreed. After that the car ride home was very different from any other. She got into the car first and just as soon as i did and closed my seatbelt she kinda leaned towards me and kissed me on the lips. i don't know why but i was confused and somehow i was expecting this and so i returned the favor. For me that kiss felt very empty and it wasn't at all like the kisses i got from my ex which made my heart race for example. But still i was nervous and i figured that i have proly made a big mistake. after the kiss i immediately started the car and raced out of the parking lot lol. the drive back however was not awkward anymore and i kind off felt more relaxed but still confused. She was smiling a lot but we didn't speak a word. until we got close to my house where she said if i have any drinks at home and i just was like oh my god she is not letting this go. Strangely though i wasn't annoyed anymore and i agreed to take her home. all in all i ended up sleeping with her last night and we went to school together the next day. we were both late to class and arrived together. my friends have become suspicious and even worst she is with me everywhere now and im kind of scared she will say something or hug or kiss in front of my friends. i want to get away from her but at the same time i have developed feelings for her. she hasn't brought up that night at all. we kinda just hang out like before as friends but she is starting to grow on me. I mean after that incident i have started to realize that she is a very nice girl and yes her face is ugly but she is not fat and has nice body even though she is only 5'3". because of this i offered to give her a ride home again yesterday and before getting off the car she finally brought up the night and started saying how she really likes me and she had lot of fun that night and she thinks im a great guy. to my surprise she also explained that she knows she is ugly and i don't want my friends to find out. she said if i want we can keep this relationship a secret. to make matters worst i asked her to spend this weekend at my house. now the weekend is getting closer and i really regret asking her that, i don't know what to do i don't wanna break her heart cause she is my friend and also im scared she will inform my friends. should i keep dating her in secret or just blow her off? either way i don't want my friends to find out EVER! how do i do this? plz help thanks.

[shammi]

Get a grip dude, your 37 years old, why are you acting like a 8 year old????

[Judie]

Sounds like you are in school, high school rather than college. Anyhow, your thoughts strongly contradict with your actions, which got you in "trouble" in the first place, and will make it extra difficult to get out of it. It seems like you don't like to have a relationship with her due to her looks and your social status, but you are now having feelings for her after you slept with her (hope you used protection) and think she is nice. Sorry dude, it might sound a little bit bad, but that's only what you've told us. So here's what I'd suggest, if you just want to have a fling with her, then keep it a secret as she had offered. This will lead to complications later on so be ware. Or, if you really don't want to get involved with her or hurt her feelings at all, the sooner you end this, the better it will be for the both of you. Focus on school, sport, family and friends for now. You sound too young to get messed up in sex and love...

[Stellarwolf]

um how about you stop being so shallow , I'll tell you the same thing I've told all the little pretty boys or players I know ... it should really be about how you connect to one another, do you like their personality?, do you laugh together?, are they easy to be around and talk to? yes physical attraction plays apart in dating someone but it shouldn't be the only thing. You should also stop caring so much about what your friends think and worry about what will make you happy. If you honestly see this going no where with this girl just ask if you guys can still be friends and hang out, just be mature about it. Don't string her along and keep sleeping with her if you have no intentions of not being a jerk and trying to hide her like she's some mutant or something geez grow a pair!

[MerryH]

your 37 years old

There is no way this guy is 37. No way. Where did you get that?

Anyway, for now, I'm going to base this on him and his friends being college-aged (18 - 22ish?).

You do act way younger than that, though. This is middle school shit right here. Why do you care what your friends would think? And are your friends such terrible people to actually care about who you date? If so, then your friends are dumb. I mean, at the most, you should maybe get some playful teasing about it at first. But ultimately, if you don't care, they won't care.

So date her if you like her. Don't be a coward. Also, I'm quoting this because it's true and you should read it again and again:

Don't string her along and keep sleeping with her if you have no intentions of not being a jerk and trying to hide her like she's some mutant or something geez grow a pair!

[Only-virgins]

I'm not sure what makes me sad and confused more. His treatment of her and views of women or her acceptance that he thinks she is ugly and doesn't want his friends to find out. If he is 37 then I am the pope.

[Only-virgins]

and on another note:

YOU SLEEP WITH UGLY CHICKS!

[MichelleLovee]

Wow ....

You first of all, should not care what your friends think. If they were actually FRIENDS, then they wouldn't have a problem with it. They might tease you at first, but I am sure they would tease you about other things as well.

Where do you get off letting this girl think she is ugly? Where do you get off allowing yourself to refer to her as an ugly person? Where is your sense of human value?

It is obvious that you like her, or you would never have let things get this far. The only thing stopping you from the beginning was the fact that you don't think she has a pretty face, and you are allowing that shallow nature to overcome what could be a beautiful relationship. It probably was not an empty kiss, and if you were nervous, there was something there that made you nervous!

Either tell her the truth, or tell YOURSELF the truth.

[xxazurexx]

Sounds like the broad can't take a hint, so you are going to have to be firm with her.

Tell her straight, 'Thanks, but no thanks'.

[teel]

Everything was said above, but just to recapitulate: grow up, find more mature friends, and listen to your feelings.

[xxazurexx]

and you are allowing that shallow nature to overcome what could be a beautiful relationship. .

I dislike it when people will accuse others of being shallow and because another person may not be their cup of tea.

Looks attract, that is a harsh fact of reality and there is nothing shallow about going for what appeals to the beholders eye.

While looks are not everything, we still need a physical attraction and this comes before the interest in getting to know them personally and the personality.

Instead of being afraid to hurt feelings OP, you need to man up and put her straight. How old are you?

[xxazurexx]

Having read it again, I think it's a 'troll' post. OP sounds too dumb and stupid, to be real.

[lanana.banana]

a lot of writing just to troll though... too much effort i think to be a troll

[Petit Papillon]

a lot of writing just to troll though... too much effort i think to be a troll

You don't know what trolls are ready for. If you could just imagine ... They can stay here and post even few long months and post their crap. If they are good enough, they will make everybody believe them, but in the end ,every piece of their story put together will sound like a big piece of bull shit

[Agape]

"to my surprise she also explained that she knows she is ugly and i don't want my friends to find out. she said if i want we can keep this relationship a secret"

Lol, get a grip. . . if you two like each other and like spending time with each other then who cares