Going through my personal things...would you?

[SealedWithAKISS]

Would you go through my phone, mail, emails and wallet if you thought I was lying or having an affair?

Would you mind having someone do the same to you for the same reasons?

[sparkle_jello]

My husband and I have all each other's passwords. I have the ability to go through anything, but I rarely do and when I do do it I never expect to find anything. The last time I really looked at his stuff was about three months ago, it was his text messages and I went through them because I wanted to see if he was discussing me with his friends, and in what way he did. He didn't really talk about me much.

[SealedWithAKISS]

Thanks for the reply. THe fact that you both have passwords to eachothers accounts indicates you have a trusting, close relationship. Congrats! I truely admire and envy you two for finding someone you can be entriely open with.

My husband and I have all each other's passwords. I have the ability to go through anything, but I rarely do and when I do do it I never expect to find anything. The last time I really looked at his stuff was about three months ago, it was his text messages and I went through them because I wanted to see if he was discussing me with his friends, and in what way he did. He didn't really talk about me much.

[sparkle_jello]

Thanks for the reply. THe fact that you both have passwords to eachothers accounts indicates you have a trusting, close relationship. Congrats! I truely admire and envy you two for finding someone you can be entriely open with.

Thank you, but it didn't happen overnight. I was a hellcat when we first got married, I was nervous all the time, and very intimidated by other women. As I grew, and as our relationship progressed I really just became a better person.

[SealedWithAKISS]

Thank you, but it didn't happen overnight. I was a hellcat when we first got married, I was nervous all the time, and very intimidated by other women. As I grew, and as our relationship progressed I really just became a better person.

So what did he do to earn your trust enought to be this open? I have never met a woman yet, this open with her entire life when in a relationship. I think I should stop dating women with bones in the closet.

[sparkle_jello]

I probably am this open because I really don't have anything to hide. I've had others before my husband, so it helps me to realize how important my relationship is because he really is the cream of the crop for me. I think all younger women are irrationally untrustworthy with their significant others, as I was, I'm 28 now and I've come to learn that there isn't some minx waiting to snatch my husband away around every corner. I don't think bf gf should share passwords, but married people shouldn't have anything to hide.

I trust him because through our whole marriage he has never done anything inappropriate with another female so that I would lose trust. When we go out together he doesn't check out other women, he is focused on us. He never wants to go out on his own, he'd rather use his spare time to work on cars in the garage. I see some of my friends obsessing when their spouse comes home late, or is distant... I might have when I was younger but if my husband was two hours coming home late from work cheating wouldn't even pop into my mind. People know when the person they are with are capable of untrustworthy behavior...

[SealedWithAKISS]

Thanks for sharing that refreshing reminder of how relationships should be. That's awesome. My last GF was very jealous and did not trust me. It turned out she was so paranoid she established affairs to protect herself from getting hurt. A real mess for me so I left her and never looked back.

My folks have been married for 50 years. A great example to me of trust and devotion.

I probably am this open because I really don't have anything to hide. I've had others before my husband, so it helps me to realize how important my relationship is because he really is the cream of the crop for me. I think all younger women are irrationally untrustworthy with their significant others, as I was, I'm 28 now and I've come to learn that there isn't some minx waiting to snatch my husband away around every corner. I don't think bf gf should share passwords, but married people shouldn't have anything to hide.

I trust him because through our whole marriage he has never done anything inappropriate with another female so that I would lose trust. When we go out together he doesn't check out other women, he is focused on us. He never wants to go out on his own, he'd rather use his spare time to work on cars in the garage. I see some of my friends obsessing when their spouse comes home late, or is distant... I might have when I was younger but if my husband was two hours coming home late from work cheating wouldn't even pop into my mind. People know when the person they are with are capable of untrustworthy behavior...

[sparkle_jello]

Well, just remember it took me time to get here. There is not telling if someone will become more paranoid or more trusting in a relationship. I hope you find someone you can trust, and that doesn't start affairs.

[Agape]

1) Going through my personal things...would you?

2) Would you go through my phone, mail, emails and wallet if you thought I was lying or having an affair?

3) Would you mind having someone do the same to you for the same reasons?

-

1) No, I would be tempted . . . if anything I'd ask . . .but if there was actual proof then I might.

2) Wouldn't know how

3) I wouldn't like it, I'd rather have a straight question and talk about it . . . I could provide proof to show I haven't been doing anything, but my word should be good enough

[vashti]

If I thought he was running around and I cared? Yes. However, I am generally not a suspicious person, and it would have to be blatantly obvious before I would even notice.


As for whether or not I would mind him doing the same..... hmm. I don't know. If he wasn't running around on me, I wouldn't be, either, so I probably wouldn't care.

[doppelgaenger]

Disclaimer: I'm a dude.

I'd be so pissed if a girl ever went through my stuff or expected me to deal with her insecurity/lack of trust. I've tried to deal with it before, but it just doesn't go over well. I demand privacy in a relationship, and if I don't have my breathing room, I suffocate. Living with a younger brother for 17 years who always got into my shit was enough for me.

[Sweet_Caroline]

I'd say No.
We all need some privacy even in a relationship.
It's all about trust and honesty.

[Gigabitch]

Hell yes, I would go through your stuff, and no, I wouldnt be surprised or pissed of if I got my stuff searched as well.

I've snooped before. I felt bad about it, but it gave me information I needed to know.

[spiritofjosh]

Personally if I suspected something sketchy with a girlfriend and would get an answer I felt may be embellished then I would look through texts or emails, not so much because I didn't trust them but more so because I would want to know the truth. The saying goes what so and so doesn't know won't hurt so and so, well I'd rather know even if I were to be hurt from it. And same goes for a girlfriend, if she felt I was lying or being shady she could go through my stuff because I never hide anything from who I'm dating. Me and my ex had a relationship like that, we we're comfortable looking through each others' things to where it made us not want to so we never have. I'll admit I looked at her emails to see who may have wrote her messages on facebook but never found anything so I pretty much left it as "she's being good."

I rambled on a little but basically when somebody is behaving oddly and you can't get straight answers I see it as a solution to look through texts, emails etc. Would anybody think that if your boyfriend/girlfriend were cheating on you and the answer lies in a text that it's better to not know then to look at the text? I would disagree.