It's over I know, but I still love him and miss him

[missconfused]

Me and my now ex had been together almost 5 years when he landed the bombshell that he wanted to end it, it was completely out of the blue he wouldn't give me a reason or even talk about it he just said it wasnt working and he didnt feel the same about me. I tried to accept his decision and give him his space but we shared a dog that he wanted to see so it meant I had to see him about 3 weeks after it ended I was handing over the dog I told him I loved him and that I would love to give it another shot and that this was his last chance if he said no I would truely accept it was over, I gave him time to think and he said he would like to give it another go.

We got back together and I discovered he was depressed so I did everything in my power to cheer him up and try and help him get over it but he wouldnt do anything that was recommended like see a doctor, eat properly, stop drinking, get exercise. He wasnt sleeping so I never knew what he would be like in the morning, I was constantly on edge. One minute he would tell me he wanted to marry me and we would talk about our plans for the future and the next he would be shouting at me for asking him how he was feeling. I myself have been depressed in the past because someone really close to me passed away and I lost my job but I came out the other side a happier person and I tried to relate that to him but he wouldnt have it. Then a few days ago (3 weeks after we got back together) everything was fine until he said he was thinking about going out drinking with his friends "I said are you sure" and he flipped saying he could do whatever he wanted and dumped me.

When we broke up the first time he drank himself to sleep almost everynight and when we were back together he told me he thinks he should kill himself because he isnt good enough for me and that way I would have no choice. When he ended it the way he did and after the way he had acted I was really worried I rang his parents to tell them they had no idea but I needed someone he was in contact to be able to watch over him because of the thoughts he was having, he found out and rang me and told me he never wanted to see me or talk to me again. I feel bad because I broke his trust by telling them but I dont regret it. He doesnt realise i did it because I love him and I am worried.

This is only a short summary of what happened he treated me really badly, i don't think my family and friends would let me get back with him even if I wanted. I need to focus on myself and try and forget him its just so hard when we were together so long and saw each other nearly everyday. What kills me the most is I know we could have been really happy if he got through the depression.
I don't know what I am looking for on here but any opinions or advice is greatly appreciated.

[Agape]

Well you've tried to get back together and that didn't work out. Also he has depression and you don't need such emotional baggage.

I'd say move on, 5 years is a long time but it looks like a failing relationship.

[Lovestory]

I am going through the same thing.. it is really hard.. I wish I could give you some advice, I just wanted to let you know that your not the only one going through this.

[sapha1]

its hard , no one can give you much advise... its always the same ;move on, go out with friends, stay busy,cut of all communication,
i find that it hurts so much more when you do that,
and when you hear negative comments it upsets you more.

all i can say is just keep talking about it coz eventually youll start to get bored and realise the more you speak about it the better you feel and few months/years down the line your feelings will because numb
to cold to care and youll be such a stronger person than what you was .

hope things work out , worst feeling/ pain ! the way i feel is like ive lost the person i truely love and adore to death , when really hes still about just not mine