Hi, my name is Lucy, i'm in my early 20's from the UK and recently met a guy online of a similar age from the US. I'm very mature for my age and have had two serious long-term relationships in the past, so when we hit it off straight away, i knew it wasn't a coincidence. We became very close, very quickly. The chemistry was there and we never got bored of talking to each other online (and on webcam) no matter how long we spoke for. We fell in love with each other pretty quickly. It just felt right and we both had this connection with each other as we both told each other we loved each other on the same day.
We both had birthdays recently, he's a popular guy as I am with my friends also.I did what i could to make his day as special as possible even though i could not be there. Sent him some gifts over, a letter and such. He was really happy and a month passed then it was my birthday. He didn't bother sending a card or anything in the post...but this didn't bother me so much, he'd been strapped for cash for whatever reason and i was just happy to be able to speak to him. A lot of old friends that day had been commenting on my facebook wall, many of whom were male. I noticed he had distanced himself from me on my birthday which upset me a little. He even changed his relationship status from 'its complicated' to 'single' which was weird because the day before we were completely happy.
We've both got personal issues in our lives right now, similarly to do with drugs (he smokes weed everyday). (Before i carry on, the problem was that on the rare occasion i would go out, i would dabble with drugs and nothing more. It was not a heavy addiction.)
On my birthday I had a bit of a relapse and ended up taking some. I felt it was right to text him and let him know the situation because we never lied to each other. Needless to say, he hit the roof and called me a 'liar' and a 'slut' and that he hated me. I took what he said and did not respond with any hate as i figured it would blow over. The next day he messaged me when i was home and he said he had 'thought about it' and that he did not want anything more to do with me. He blocked and deleted me off facebook (our main way of communicating aswell as msn) and that was it (he also said i was clingy?). I haven't heard from him in a week now. I sent an email to him earlier just to explain myself as he did not give me the chance to. I also said that if this is the way it is going to be, then i hope you can remember the happy memories we shared as opposed to your last words towards me. I do not plan on emailing him again as i have said all i can.
The reason i post this message is because although i can only respect his actions, i just can't help wonder why he acted the way he did. I'm hoping that by writing this and getting feedback, i can somehow move on quicker. It's a strange feeling. Although we had not met yet, we always felt close and we would see each other on cam every day etc. It genuinely feels like a breakup.
I have no idea how he is feeling right now, he likes to act the tough guy anyway, he's quite an angry person. I've felt a little depressed the last few days and have had a negative outlook on things but my older friends say he was the main negative thing about me due to his poor attitude and his love for arguments. He is surrounded by the wrong friends and i guess i always see the good in people. Whenever he wanted out from where he lived or felt depressed, i would always be there for him and suggest he could come stay with me if he wanted as it is possible. It's just a shame that when the roles were reversed and i needed him, he's just upped and left me.
I guess i just find the way he has gone about getting me out of his life irrational?
Anyway i'm sorry it's long! I'll hand it over to you! Thanks for reading.