i need advice before my relationship dies! HELLLLP! :/

[hsmit31]

okay so im gonna sum this up.. me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months and we live together, have a dog, and a pretty much happy all the time.. ive committed the rest of my life to him, and him to me. we talk about getting engaged and we are pretty serious. but lately ive been having trust issues and we have been fighting so much.. basically im unhappy with the way things are going. and if the dont start getting better im gonna wanna be single. id rather work on things and be happy again but i jsut dont know what to do.. should i talk to him and open up with whats been going on or shold i just wait and see if things get better. i love this man.. he might not be perfect but he takes care of me and i really dnt want to lose him.

[Ariadne]

What are you having trust issues about?

[Radarsonar]

If you don't talk about things you can't expect him to know what you think is wrong with the relationship. I would think this goes without saying, but apparently not.

[hsmit31]

he talks to girls over the internet not to serious but i did find him emailing some chick about a month back.. he said he wasnt going to act on anything but still he talk about meeting up with this chick. i think he just wants attention (not that i dont give the bastard enough) because hes a small guy so it makes him feel good.. i let it all go though because i had done my wrong at a party by kissing another guy about 3 or 4 months ago.. just sucks because i was ****ed up and when he did this he was sober with me sleeping in the next room! i just dont understand mennnnn blah!

[hsmit31]

i know but im just afraid with the way he is going to react.. he can get a temper sometimes..

[Ariadne]

Well you DID make a mistake--no way to justify that, regardless of being drunk--but premeditated cheating is much worse than a spontaneous drunken kiss, imo. And I guarantee you if you've seen messages of him planning to meet up with this girl then he either already has or fully plans to. I wouldn't marry this guy any time soon--if ever--if I were you. And you definitely need to sit down and have a very honest conversation with him.

[hsmit31]

ya i agree im just scared cause he really is my life..i live 4 states away from home,, and without him id have no one but a bunch of druggie friends and thats not the life i want for myself.. thank you so much for you opinion.. i hope this doesnt go bad.

[girl68]

you two should NOT be talking marriage. you're cheating, he's cheating in a way to get back at you for cheating he doesn't trust you and you don't trust him.

your relationship should die, and you should both learn lessons. you've clearly both had issues and instead of solving them your run off and get attention and tougne action elsewhere in return he gets his attention via internet.

[sweetkissesforu]

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly." Talk to him

[hsmit31]

i did talk to him and thank you for that.. i feel the same way.. no one can be perfect.. i think im just losing my head becasue ive never been in a relationship for over 2 months so 9 months is long for me. i just have to work on myself and the relationship and i think we are goign to be okay.. just as long as he doesnt cheat lol.. thanks everyone for the help

[girl68]

as HE doesn't cheat. sweetie, you cheated first did you not?

[hsmit31]

yes but i told him and begged for forgiviness.. he didnt tell me about his untill i saw it and then tried to make it seem okay.. then begged for my forgivness when i threatend to leave. and yes i made a mistake and so did he but i dont think he has stopped doing it