What's wrong with me?

[Indestructible]

Let me give some background information here, to start. I'm a 22 year old guy, that's never dated or been anything more than a friend to girls. It's not that I don't appreciate the single life, but I can't help but really wish I could explore the whole "dating/ relationship" stuff, yanno? Anyway, I admit, I probably have a lot of personal issues (most of them dealing with confidence, and whatnot) that tend to prevent girls from being interested in me, but I have a problem worse than that...

See, I really don't ever "feel" anything for girls I meet. I'm obviously not expecting to fall head over heels instantly, or anything like that, but none of the girls I ever meet make me think "Hm, I'd really like to get to know her better, and get closer to her". I'm not sure why, really. I just can't seem to become "attracted" to anyone. Admittedly, I could probably push myself to try to meet more girls, but as it is, I already meet a steady amount of new people fairly regularly, and I'm a bit too introverted to be able to go above and beyond that.

So, I don't know what's wrong with that part of my brain, where I can't see myself being involved with any of the girls I meet. Before anyone asks, no, I don't feel as though there's a chance I'm actually repressing some kind of homosexual tendencies, or anything like that; at a very basic level, I'm attracted to women in general, and am... er, well, aroused at the idea of being with them. But I just personally can't seem to be able to justify to myself pursuing any of the ones that drift through my life.

Like I said, I know I probably have my own issues to work on that are preventing girls from being attracted to me, but I'm not even getting that far. At least getting rejected for my problems would be a step forward; I can't even find girls that I want to take that risk with, yanno?

[madotnw_nihs]

just a question. What avenue are you meeting girls in?

[elphie]

It's not that there's anything wrong with you for starters. You just haven't met the/a right person yet. It's particularly tough if your standards are high, which isn't a bad thing, just narrows down the options. I'm in sort of a similar situation, though have met a couple people in my life who have knocked-my-socks-off. There have also been a couple instances where someone has grown on me through time and spending more time together. But for every one person that I've really liked, there have been a dozen or more that I haven't been into. Have you tried online dating? Speed dating? It gives you a broader range of people to meet and helps increase the likelihood you'll meet someone who wows you. Hang in there though. For the most part dating sucks, but when you find someone you really like and get into a relationship, it outweighs all the other stuff and makes it worthwhile. In the meantime, work on developing your confidence and interests, and being happy with yourself and don't focus on the fact that you haven't met anyone yet.

[justcheckin]

seems to me that you are just "looking for love in all the wrong places"

Most girls today (even "hot" ones) are becoming fairly unattractive in the sense that I think today's "young" culture is ****ing idiotic. I mean a lot of girls are hot, but if you honestly tell me you drink more then you read a book and you believe that people really live like rap stars..... well..... i dont care if you are the hottest girl in the world... you look like a idiot to me.

[all alone]

Does this lack of feelings always been an issue?.. What about when you were younger like in high school, did you ever have a huge crush on some girl?.. because something like that would be a pretty common and normal occurance, so if you never experienced something of the sort either, i would perhaps start to wonder at the true source of your disintrest?.. perhaps something chemically going on in your body, who knows?

[Indestructible]

just a question. What avenue are you meeting girls in?

College, work, generally doing things with friends.

It's not that there's anything wrong with you for starters. You just haven't met the/a right person yet. It's particularly tough if your standards are high, which isn't a bad thing, just narrows down the options. I'm in sort of a similar situation, though have met a couple people in my life who have knocked-my-socks-off. There have also been a couple instances where someone has grown on me through time and spending more time together. But for every one person that I've really liked, there have been a dozen or more that I haven't been into. Have you tried online dating? Speed dating? It gives you a broader range of people to meet and helps increase the likelihood you'll meet someone who wows you. Hang in there though. For the most part dating sucks, but when you find someone you really like and get into a relationship, it outweighs all the other stuff and makes it worthwhile. In the meantime, work on developing your confidence and interests, and being happy with yourself and don't focus on the fact that you haven't met anyone yet.

Yanno, weird thing is, I don't even think I have a lot of "standards" anymore. I used to have silly little thoughts and musings about what my ideal girlfriend would be like and what qualities she'd have, but I've pretty much thrown all of that out, because I felt like I was being too picky. Honestly, I wouldn't even say I'm looking for specific qualities; I just try to observe (not in a creepy way, of course) people, and gauge whether or not I feel like I would enjoy being involved with that person on a "romantic" level, and the answer is usually no.

Does this lack of feelings always been an issue?.. What about when you were younger like in high school, did you ever have a huge crush on some girl?.. because something like that would be a pretty common and normal occurance, so if you never experienced something of the sort either, i would perhaps start to wonder at the true source of your disintrest?.. perhaps something chemically going on in your body, who knows?

Eh... There was one girl I knew for quite a few years, growing up, and I was absolutely crazy about her. I was too shy to express it, and she kinda noticed it later and even seemed amused by it, but her family had to move, and I didn't see her again after that. A few years ago, though, we got back in touch via MySpace, and it all came rushing back to me. I expressed that I'd have liked to get together some time, and she seemed interested, but later, when I directly asked her about meeting up, she stopped writing to me. Confused, frustrated, and generally upset, I stupidly wrote her one last message, and I basically flat-out told her I had had a thing for her, and that I didn't mean to creep her out, or anything, but I was just curious to see if there'd maybe be something there. Never heard from her again. Hard to believe it's almost been two years since then... Moving on was pretty rough. I had never felt that way about a girl before, and it was such a downer having to accept that it was just never going to happen. That's really the only thing I have to share, as far as past "crushes" go.