Both us us have trouble getting aroused

[dmacfour]

I get performance anxiety, which makes if difficult to reliably maintain an erection. She gets anxious and can't get wet very often, until I get it in. It makes it difficult to get in, which makes me more anxious, which makes me lose it.

What should we do?

[Boisdevie]

Alcohol?
Porn?

[xxazurexx]

Try spending quality time getting to know each other more, which would and should in turn, help you be more comfortable with each other.

[doppelgaenger]

stop worrying about getting her off and focus on the pleasure and intimacy.
try performing oral sex on her to transition from foreplay to sex.
if she's not wet enough, use lube.

[dmacfour]

The funny thing is I can make her orgasm pretty easily if we have sex no problem. I guess the biggest thing is the difficulty getting it in.

[Gratedwasabi]

Not sure how someone didn't mention this. Go to the pharmacy. Buy water-based lube, it's by the condoms usually. Use it. Profit?

As for performance anxiety, stop trying so hard and regardless it'll fade as you get more comfortable with her. Use lube and once you get it going don't diddle daddle, just get in there. LOL. Performance anxiety tends to vanish once that happens.

Also, just as a note, just because she's not getting wet doesn't mean she's not aroused. She probably has the same anxiety you do. I've had this experience a number of times with inexperienced girls. Lube solves the problem (and don't worry, it comes in a very harmless little bottle.)

[dmacfour]

Not sure how someone didn't mention this. Go to the pharmacy. Buy water-based lube, it's by the condoms usually. Use it. Profit?

As for performance anxiety, stop trying so hard and regardless it'll fade as you get more comfortable with her. Use lube and once you get it going don't diddle daddle, just get in there. LOL. Performance anxiety tends to vanish once that happens.

Also, just as a note, just because she's not getting wet doesn't mean she's not aroused. She probably has the same anxiety you do. I've had this experience a number of times with inexperienced girls. Lube solves the problem (and don't worry, it comes in a very harmless little bottle.)

Yeah the biggest boner kill has been the difficulty getting it in. Many times I end up losing it when I'm halfway in because it takes forever and it is painful.

[girl68]

No god damn wonder. You're shoving your dick into her dry vagina- gee I wonder why she isn't too thrilled about sex- OUCH!

Get some freggin' lube and get it now, next time use it, and use lots of it and don't you dare stick your dick into her dry ever again. Shame on you!

[sweetkissesforu]

relax sex is fun

[Gribble]

Errr. Yeah, hello. They make lube for that. Easiest goddamn solution ever. Lube that shit up and hit it.

[vashti]

The funny thing is I can make her orgasm pretty easily if we have sex no problem. I guess the biggest thing is the difficulty getting it in.

You could try making her orgasm BEFORE you put it in.

As for lube.... well, I don't get it. It isn't necessary if a girl is properly aroused.

Which reminds me: how do you know she is having an orgasm? I certainly wouldn't be if you were shoving it in an unaroused vagina.

[dmacfour]

You could try making her orgasm BEFORE you put it in.

As for lube.... well, I don't get it. It isn't necessary if a girl is properly aroused.

Which reminds me: how do you know she is having an orgasm? I certainly wouldn't be if you were shoving it in an unaroused vagina.

She gets really aroused and wet once I get it in.



By the way, could sex drive be an issue here? we've been trying to have sex every night pretty much, and I don't necessarily have the need to. She thought I wanted it every night, so she initiates a thinking so. And I thought she wanted to every night so I tried to have sex every night. But a few hours ago we both realized neither of us want it every night even though we've been trying. Could having sex even when either of us don't feel like it be part of the problem (cause I can still get it up most of the time when I wasn't wanting it before)?

[girl68]

umm yes.

you guys honestly aren't ready for sex. You don't know when to have it nor how and you don't even talk about it.

[Gratedwasabi]

You could try making her orgasm BEFORE you put it in.

As for lube.... well, I don't get it. It isn't necessary if a girl is properly aroused.
.

Both of these statements have some mis-understandings in them. Not every woman is the same. A very high percentage of women orgasm only from certain types of touching. Now, obviously it's a good idea to try and get her to an orgasm however possible but it's not always possible without penetration (I've been with a couple girls that got really nervous from oral/digits, it embarrassed them and they felt much more comforted and such with penetration.) Every girl is different. My last ex simply could not orgasm from oral or masturbation but penetration got her there within minutes. It's a mental thing, a lot of women enjoy the closeness of penetration.

Every woman is different, also, in that YES, SOME WOMEN DO REQUIRE LUBE. Not all women can get wet ENOUGH for comfortable penetration, even with oral stimulation. I've also been with women who seemed plenty wet but, for whatever reason, always felt much more comfortable when we used lube. So the statement "it isn't necessary if a girl is properly aroused" might be true for some girls but completely false for others.

When in doubt, use lube. It's very delicate down there and she ain't going to let you play around if you injure her.

[girl68]

As for lube.... well, I don't get it. It isn't necessary if a girl is properly aroused.

Well then my body doesn't function I can be horny as hell and desert dry. Arousal sometimes isn't just automatic like you make it out to be. Then there are times the whole bed gets wet, and its all me. Lube makes 10x worth of difference.