How to tell a girl how you feel

[ed290]

I started a thread earlier about a girl at work and how I wasn't able to ask her out because of personal issues I had. Anyway my life has really turned a corner, but there's something about this girl. I might not even like her that much but my ego is really determined to get an answer.

I won't beat around the bush, I am confident from her previous signals that she liked me, but I pushed her away due to my issues. Now that's gone, my life is getting better on all fronts. I've even met a few other girls and picked up a few numbers etc, ie just getting back in the game and meeting new people.

But there's something about this girl. It might just be infatuation or whatever, but I really just want to get it settled one way or another. We worked a shift together tonight and at the start she gave me a big smile and was friendly, then the rest of the night, she barely even looked at me. Anyway I am a bit hung up on the whole situation. I know it isn't healthy so I want to get it sorted.

Again today I didn't get a chance alone with her and at work I never will. The waitresses are like a clan, its impossible to seperate them and they all leave together as a group. I added her on facebook the other day and feel this will be my best chance to arrange something. I want to tell her face to face honestly the situation, that I liked her but couldn't do anything, now I can. The problem is that before she was really forward and now she is really reserved so it is difficult to approach her.

Facebook seems a pretty lame way to do it, but I was thinking of sending her a message asking her to meet up sometime, or maybe talk to her online and ask to meet up. Can someone give me some advice on what to say, or how to approach this? I basically want to tell her face to face as it makes a stronger impression, plus theres less room for misinterpretation.

Like I said, I appreciate this might not be a healthy thing, but I really want to move on with my life, but for some reason the chance of something happening with this girl is holding me back. I just need closure, one way or the other.

[Gratedwasabi]

Don't start something at work. Especially just to make yourself feel good when you don't even know if you like the girl.

Unless, of course, you enjoy being unemployed. Then go for it. (And yes, if you harass a co-employee outside of work you can and will still be fired for it.)

[Zabrinah]

I agree with Gratedwasabi. I am not sure if you genuinely like this girl at work. Maybe you do. Fate, life, and everything is stopping you from asking her out: your past issues prove you are not ready, and her group of friends stopping. Also, have you heard of the saying "Don't mix work and pleasure." It rarely balances out.

I know you really want to move on, but surprisingly, another relationship will not do that. And if you ask her out online, by the time this relationship is over, you may find that you still have the same problems. So, I think you need to actually feel the pain of the past, (cry hard, but not long about it) and then let it go. It sounds like you could be dragging it out for no reason .... or waiting for closure.


Hope that helped!


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Author of the website: How NOT to Fall in Love

[ed290]

I appreciate the insight, but I didn't ask for an analysis of the situation. I already said I appreciate I could be wrong, but I've made up my mind. I just need advice on how to approach this situation. Should I just tell her flat out tell her over chat on facebook or maybe ask her to hang around after work one night so I can talk to her?

[Zabrinah]

Okay. I understand now. You are willing to make this mistake if it turns out to be one. At least you are aware of what you want and going after it.

If I were her, I would like to be asked out casually, in real life, and not on facebook. Instead of hanging around after work, maybe you could ask her during a normal conversation where you are talking about movies you like to see or restaurants you like to eat at. Toss in a little, "I like to eat there, too. Wanna go sometime?" That usually works!

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Author of the blog: How NOT to Fall In Love