Ok guys, your girlfriend has a lot of guy friends

[Areo]

Of course my insecurities and jealousy immediately show. Is she having sex with them, are they trying to have sex with her, why does she need guy friends anyways if im here. Anyways have you ever dealt with a gf with a lot of male friends and what happened? Was she cheating? or was she loyal...Any tips, stories, or anything else you can share would help me out a lot. Because currently, this is my situation. Im dating a beautiful girl, shes funny and fun to be around, the sex is amazing...she just has too many guys hangin out with her.

[VincenzoG91]

My girlfriend had a lot of guy friends when we first started dating. She had some insecurities about popularity from a rough time period during her teens, so as an attractive young adult, she liked having lots of guy friends. I did trust her, so I decided not to make an issue of it, even though I suspected that some of these guys were hovering like vultures, waiting for us to break up. As each year went by, our relationship grew closer and these guys faded away.

[Boisdevie]

You have to trust her because ultimately you have no choice unless you are together 24/7

[sweetkissesforu]

She should be able to have friends but you also be important man in her life
her friends you should be able to get to know also

[VincenzoG91]

Good point. If she doesn't want you to meet some of her guy friends, that could be cause for concern.

[Incognito]

I think this also depends on the duration of the relationship. There is a line in relationships when spending a lot of time with members of the opposite sex is unacceptable. That line is different for different people, but I personally would expect to see a change no later than 6-8 months. Some might say a year. At any rate after being in a relationship for a significant amount of time frequently "hanging out" with members of the opposite sex becomes disrespectful unless you both have talked about it and accepted it. How long have you two been together, and have you two discussed this?

[smackie9]

You don't have to worry about her cheating on you. If she wanted any of these guys she would be with them and not you. Girls think differently than guys do. They can be emotionally attached like a friend with out being sexually attracted. We all know what guys are like, but she has control over that. I had guy friends when I met my husband and I had no intention of having sex with any of them ever. Eventually they all got married and we slowly parted ways.

[Incognito]

You don't have to worry about her cheating on you. If she wanted any of these guys she would be with them and not you. Girls think differently than guys do....

^^^Sorry, that sounds a bit naive. According to you women in relationships never cheat because they are with who they want to be with.

[Gratedwasabi]

You don't have to worry about her cheating on you. If she wanted any of these guys she would be with them and not you. Girls think differently than guys do. They can be emotionally attached like a friend with out being sexually attracted. We all know what guys are like, but she has control over that. I had guy friends when I met my husband and I had no intention of having sex with any of them ever. Eventually they all got married and we slowly parted ways.

This is true.

Now, if you're concerned that the guys want to sleep with her. Well. Some probably do. But that's not really the point (a woman can be just friends with a guy that wants to have sex with her, they're nifty like that; doesn't work out so well vice-versa.)

Doesn't sound like a problem. Ask to meet her friends and BE NICE AND NON-POSSESSIVE around them. One of the fastest ways to lose a girl is being a jerk and/or super possessive of her around her friends. They'll dump you like yesterday's newspaper.

[girl68]

I hate the argument she has me why does she need male friends. The answer is simple you're not the only male on the face of the earth and some of these men are wonderful enough to deem as friends.

If she's trust worthy only you can tell if she's messing around on you. And yeah a lot of them probably want to bone her, so? Does she want to bone them? If she doesn't it ain't gonna happen no matter what they want.

[VincenzoG91]

And yeah a lot of them probably want to bone her, so? Does she want to bone them? If she doesn't it ain't gonna happen no matter what they want.

Except for acquaintance rape, which does happen.

[girl68]

It does, I know but what are you going to do: ask all her male friends if they would ideally like to bone her, and then interview them for degrees of susecptibility of rape?! Probably not.

As a woman if my guy said I can't hang out with men who are friends he better have a damn good reason to say so. Jealousy is NOT a legitimate reason. I'll use myself as an example.

I was a hideous creature in highschool girls and guys alike made boatloads of fun at my expense. It hurt, it still hurts if I think about it. Anyways eventually I grew some boobs and I guess once could say I got pretty. I don't have a problem in the world (now) attracting male attention. That said now I actually have friends, both male and female. Some males who I'm sure would have sex with me if I agreed but it's never happened. Hell I find them good looking too, but that doens't mean I'm going to do it.

I was single and during that time I was hanging out with this friend (male) who was good looking and single and if I let it happen it probably would have but I wasn't interested. Anyways we partied together, went to the beach together whatever. Then came my bf. I still did these things with this friend and shit hit the fan. He said I shouldn't I couldn't and I shall not be hanging out with this friend ever again. I hit the fan. Who was he to dictate and what legitimate reason did he have? Once we cooled off we talked. I wasn't willing to just NOT have him as a friend- why should I? He's my friend. He explained he didn't like how "intimate" our get togethers were, always alone, always seemingly out "like a couple". So eventually I agreed to cut off the intimate get togethers and keep it to group surroundings, including my bf as well. This satisfied us both. He cannot and willnot be able to tell me I can't have male friends but if he has just reason and is willing to compramise- so am I.

NOTE: HE TRUSTS ME. Whatever I said is totally useless unless you trust her.

[doppelgaenger]

I have a lot of close female friends, and the lot of them probably want to sleep with me, but I never let it happen. Why? Because they're friends and I just can't sleep with someone that I am not attracted to. I also have gay male friends who want to sleep with me, but I don't swing that way. My ex girlfriend tried to force me to cut contact from all of them gradually over time during our two year relationship, because "she didn't like them". I just wanted to appease her (so whipped, man... so whipped), so I played along with it for a while. Her insecurities and lack of trust grew because I tolerated it. Our relationship ended because she developed an extremely psychotic attitude about having females anywhere near me. She started accusing me of looking at other women when we went out, and telling me that I want to screw her cousins/neighbors/friends, and accused me of watching porn and flirting with other women. She actually got physically violent in the end, and she'd push me around and smacked me left and right when her suspicion/jealousy rose. I remember distinctly, being awoken by getting a beating from her a couple times because she went through my computer data and emails and found stuff that looked suspicious to her. I never heard the end of it - girls complimented me in front of her, even if it was completely innocent, she would tell me things like "so why don't you go sleep with her, you ****ing asshole." as if I were hitting on another woman, lol. She was always angry and jealous at me for something and I just got sick of it. Her attitude started extending beyond her trust issue and that's when I decided to leave.

Anyone ever read Misery by Stephen King? I felt like I was stuck with Annie Wilkes! Those kind of people are like time bombs without an expiration date. You never know if they're gonna lock you up in the basement for anal probing experiments, or if they're going to drug you, disembowel you, and pickle your body parts for later consumption. I didn't want to stick around and find out. After that kind of mistreatment, I'm completely intolerant. I have a NO bullshit policy; I don't care if I do something assholish or not, I will climb out of a third storey apartment window at 4am without saying goodbye if my gut tells me to, and I actually did that once. **** etiquette and formality. I'll break up through SMS at my own convenience. I don't ignore my instincts or reflexes anymore. I don't even wait for the red flags. Shoot first, ask questions later. So, if a girl got mad at me for apparently no reason and started giving me the silent treatment, I wouldn't even ask her what the deal is. I'd assume the worst and avoid her at all costs. I'm not going to isolate myself from friends and family and become the passive victim of a deranged psycho with unreal expectations.

[smackie9]

Why should there be a restriction on what sex you should be friends with? I have male friends because I'm a tomboy and have the same interests as they do like fishing, UFC, hockey, cars, beer, porn.....now try and talk to girls about that ...NOT! Shoes, handbags, chick flicks, .....oh just kill me!

[VincenzoG91]

There were times in the past when I tried to be friends with a female in hopes that I might eventually get to have sex with her. Pathetic, I know. I eventually realized it was just better for everyone concerned if I directly pursued women, and moved on if there wasn't any interest. Women constantly underestimate how much the average guy truly thinks about sex, or else they would be suspicious of a lot of their heterosexual guy friends. Notice how some women have gay friends? Even though a lot of guys are excited by the concept of lesbians (or at least lipstick lesbians), they don't bother with friendships with lesbians. Too much trouble for really bad odds at getting laid.