Need advice and just to talk about breaking up

[DunkinD]

In advance thanks for anybody who answers with advice or anything.

First off my GF (28) of close to a year broke up with me (27) last week over the phone. This has been a long distance relationship for the past 4 months. Ill first say we had no problems with this because we saw each other mostly every weekend. I believe if we kept progressing talk of moving would have surfaced.

We really havent had any major issues since we have been dating. There was one time where I kind of blew her off when she was upset whihc caused some problems and I know I was at fault. So we discussed that and ever since then I always listened and was there for her when she was down. I guess after this she didnt feel as though she can bring all her problems to me and that took a toll on her.

So fast forward to the first week in Dec. I went to visit her and the weekend starts off great. But saturday she is in a bad mood and its just a hard day for us. Sat night we get into a little argument because she didnt like the way I acted. Sunday I leave and I feel as though we are on good terms but the issue will be brought up again. Monday comes along she says she didnt have a good weekend and she dont think she wants to continue dating me.

We break up tuesday and its basically because after just under a year she doesnt feel her feelings for me are where they should be. Now mind you I am in love with this girl. So we talk on the phone tuesday and both upset but she says she doesnt see a future with us. But she is stressed out because of her living situation (moved back home) and a new job. This was the reason why she was in a bad mood over the weekend.

I cut contact for a few days to give her time to think about things. I get an email from her this week saying she is coming into town and would like to meet up for lunch to talk about why we broke up and that she made the right decision. I told her I cant do that because it will only put me back at the beginning. She understood. I then broke down and just flat out tried to win her back which didnt help. After that I just sent a nice email saying the time we spent togetehr was great and I will accept your feelings and cut contact and maybe some day we will cross paths again.

That was the last time I contacted her. Now from the looks of it I dont see any chance of us getting back together and I know I should just move on but I just cant get over her. She said she was happy with me and still missed me.

so what do you think I should do. Should I stay strong and no contact for a while and hopefully she comes back or just move on and try to forget about her? Please any advice

[devonbrown]

At this point, it appears that you need to accept the fact that the relationship is over. I have always felt that long distance itself can't break a couple up, but it does act like a magnifying glass on any issues that might be there in the first place.
She misses you because you were a big part of her life for about a year. She likes you as a person. But as she said herself, she doesn't feel the way about you that she thinks she should and obviously not the same way that you do. So, unless her feelings change, there is really no opportunity for a reconciliation.
Look back on the relationship fondly, learn from it, and try your best to move on.
Good luck.

[ticojett]

Dunkin, Believe me when I say I know what your going through... In times like these you just have to remain strong with yourself and let her go... Like the old saying goes " if its meant to be, he or she will come back!" Love is a tough emotion that is hard to control, but keep your self accupied... Do the things you love ( work-out, watch a movie, hang out with friends ) eventually you'll either move on or you'll work things out.. What ever the case maybe remain happy.. Sometime things happen for a reason.. And always remember for every down fall we experience there will be a seed of greatness to come ( a new door will open ) Expect it and it will come...
Hope this helps friend...
Tico Jett

[DunkinD]

Thanks for the response. I know moving on is the right thing to do and I feel as though no contact is the best way. But we all been through this situation where each call/message to our phone we hope its her calling. Thats where I am at now, since she is coming into town this weekend I wish my life would be a movie and she comes knocking at my door wanting to make things work but I know I need to get that out of my mind.

Has anybody or know anybody broke up like we did and then realize after a little while you really do miss that person and there could be something there?