Baby Momma issues

[elfone]

Is it normal for my boyfriend to spend the night with his baby momma once a week? She is remarried and her husband and my boyfriend are good friends. He says he spends the night there to spend time with his kids. He has his own house and I feel that if he wants to spend time with the kids, they should come to his house. He is extremely close to his baby momma and her husband, he has even moved in with them when he was evicted from his apartment. They have offered for him to live with them permanently. Does this seem strange or am I just filled with jealousy?

[MerryH]

It's not typical, but if it works for them and they have healthy relationships with each other, then why let it bother you? Be glad for them and for their kids, it's better than them all hating each other and being nasty.

[doppelgaenger]

sometimes things just work out that way. what is your problem? his ex remarried and it's about the kids. don't be a jealous psycho.

[VincenzoG91]

It is strange. Very strange. Do they live far from his home, that spending the night makes any sense at all? Are you unwelcome on these sleepovers? That would be pretty suspicious.

[AamyluvroN]

I do find it strange but some people are actually like this. If the exes husband doesnt mind him being there then by all means you should trust your boyfriend. If it bothers you that much talk to him about it. Give him the chance to make you see what he is seeing when it comes to this. But let me ask you a question why do you have a problem with this? do you think there is something going on between your boyfriend and his ex when he is over there?

[SelflessnHumble]

Is it normal for my boyfriend to spend the night with his baby momma once a week? She is remarried and her husband and my boyfriend are good friends. He says he spends the night there to spend time with his kids. He has his own house and I feel that if he wants to spend time with the kids, they should come to his house. He is extremely close to his baby momma and her husband, he has even moved in with them when he was evicted from his apartment. They have offered for him to live with them permanently. Does this seem strange or am I just filled with jealousy?

This isn't how it is supposed to work, then again when did you find out he was a single dad with a child that lives with his mother?
Honestly you are filled with jealousy, BUT this doesn't mean you should have to swallow this thing while he continues to go there.

Sit down with him and communicate how it makes you feel.
If he brushed you aside he doesn't care about your opinion.
If he is concerned you feel this way then he should affirm his love for you by showing you.

I don't see why you wouldn't be allowed to also go with him though...
Have you asked? What did he say? You make it sound like you're the 3rd wheel (or 4th) ?

Don't you want to be involved?

[Take2]

Sit down with him and communicate how it makes you feel.
If he brushed you aside he doesn't care about your opinion.
If he is concerned you feel this way then he should affirm his love for you by showing you.

Umm, do not EVER give a parent who you are dating any sort of ultimatum or test whereby you expect the guy/gal to choose you over their child. If they agree to be played like this AND choose you over the child, they are a worthless bum. If they resent being put in such a ludicrous and unfair position and walk OR if they choose the child, they are a good person and you just lost them.

Also, how long have you been in the picture? I would cheerfully let my ex spend the night in my guest room if it logistically gave him better access to his kids. But if he wanted to bring a girlfriend, I would only be OK with that if he said they were VERY serious and she had been in the picture a while. That's just for my children's emotional well-being, nothing personal against any particular woman as an individual.

[reeba]

Yep it is strange because it is abbynormal. Divorced people aren't suppose to be living in a commune type situation with their ex, the ex's new hubby, and the kids. I know people who are divorced and yet remain good friends, and divorced people staying in the same house because of financial reasons. But this is a new scenerio. And I'm having problems understanding 'why' they are doing this. And yes it would make me sort of uncomfortable because it is not the norm.

Does he have a suitable place for the kids to visit/stay? I can understand it if he only can afford a one bedroom apartment or crappy apartment. Or are the kids small and freak out when spending the night in a strange place? Or maybe his ex doesn't really want to totally give up the kids for the weekend, and this is her way of keeping tabs on the kids during the weekend.

Does he ask you to spend time with the kids too? Would be interesting if you have to hang out at the ex's house too.