A Guide For Men On How To Approach Unknown Women Without Being Maced

[vertical_sky]

"How do I talk to/approach a girl I haven't been introduced to in public?"

I see this question a lot, either on this site or from some of my male friends. The approach guys seem to take is either A) do it all the time without paying much attention to HOW they're doing it (thus shooting themselves in the foot by scaring off otherwise interested females) or B) NEVER do it, for fear of being sued for harassment (thus shooting themselves in the foot by never taking a shot with an interested female.)

So! Here is a delightful post I stumbled across that I feel gives some great advice on this topic. Feel free to post any questions in response!

[url=http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/]Guest Blogger Starling: Schrödinger?s Rapist: or a guy?s guide to approaching strange women without being maced Shapely Prose[/url]

[sweetkissesforu]

Try flirting i think

[Yet another guy]

Woah, I didn't know that women are constantly expecting to be raped.
Maybe it's a cultural thing (the American statistics the blogger is dishing out do seem quite unsettling) or maybe it's my viewpoint. Since I'm a guy, nobody approaches me except non threatening, lonely, elderly men desperate for a chat. I'm a magnet for those, maybe I become one of them someday too.

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light.

The article says, that's my only window for saying "hi". I've never seen anyone act like that in public places. Unless they are with friends, but then they do that towards them of course. Usually people are occupied by whatever that public place is for.

[Gratedwasabi]

This is silly. Sorry, but it really is. Approaching unknown women is easy.

Make eye contact, smile, say "hello, my name is ___ can I sit with you/get a coffee with you/whatever."

Two options. Get rejected, or get a foot in the door. No chance of getting maced, sued, etc.

Simple. Screw body language at this point, maybe she's having a bad day and you'll make her happy. Just say hello. It can only hurt your pride.

[vertical_sky]

Grated, you're totally right. But you also seem good at being direct without being creepy. I think this article was meant more for guys who are, uh.... socially paralyzed, shall we say.

@ Yet another

I think "friendly" is really the word to focus on here. If she smiles, OR says hi, OR makes eye contact, then that's a green light. In other words, if she acts friendly, Houston, lift-off. Again, this article is for guys who are so freaked by the prospect of approaching women they won't even try (one of my friends refuses to do it all, because HIS friend once talked to a girl "in a totally friendly platonic way" and she sued him for harassment and ruined his marriage.... Yeah.....) or guys who are kinda clueless about how women react.