Confusing signals - Cold/distant vs. open and affectionate.

[sweetkissesforu]

you might not, but he does....as do all men. the male pschyci is very fragile. he cares about you...really cares. he just want's to be perfect for you and thats stoping him. he needs therapy.

or worst case senario...he's gay

My first thoughts were he is gay not out of the closet

[xxazurexx]

^Yeah....and the really handsome ones are usually gay I've noticed. And OP says he's handsome.

[hotspurfan]

you're being to suttle. tell, him show him exactly what you want. but being that you wont see him very often, if at all. i think it's best that you move on. you're saving yourself for a guy that might be gay. please go experience the world and find that special someone thats going to resipricate the same feelings. i know it hard to move on after you've invested so much...but you have to or you're going to end up the "weird cat lady".

your first step should be something small like coffee...go from thier. hell tell the other guy you've decided to move on and go on a date...might make him got off his ass. you're in a hole you can only go up from here

[wally123]

Yes, I also assumed maybe a closet gay or even asexual. That would be kind of sad.

[hotspurfan]

so you only sleep with virgins...thought so. you're having sloppy seconds by proxy my dear

[xxazurexx]

so you only sleep with virgins...thought so. you're having sloppy seconds by proxy my dear

Not if I'm the 'only' woman in his life at the time I'm seeing him, I'm not....

You, my dear, are a married man with a wife....and probably 10 kids and pieces on the side from all over the globe it would seem.

Do you look like Brad Pitt or something?

[wally123]

@ hotspurfan: Yes, I know, you are probably right. I am trying to be attracted to other guys, really, but it's not that easy when your heart is not in it. I would love to move forward, as this situation really gets me down.

[hotspurfan]

I wish I did. Maybe if i did my selfesteem would be higher and i would have screw around to feel wanted. everyone has issues...just trying to work threw mine to be a better person.

[hotspurfan]

wally123...just gotta take baby steps. probably wouldn't help if you made a concerted effort to not call him anymore

[wally123]

Haha, I promise myself every day to stop contacting him altogether and I feel like shit everytime I do and get rejected for whatever reason.

[hotspurfan]

sounds like you all ready have the answers my dear. this forum is just confirming all the things you all ready knew. good luck as i must bid you adeu. go be a part of the world

[xxazurexx]

I wish I did. Maybe if i did my selfesteem would be higher and i would have screw around to feel wanted. everyone has issues...just trying to work threw mine to be a better person.

Well something must be attracting these women...do you have a bulging wallet perhaps? lol

They say that sometimes people will cheat and for fear their partner will cheat on them and leave them. Is this the case...or other reasons, issues, etc.

[clair001]

Maybe he likes you,but he is abnormal. Give him more time,if it dose not work,leave him,or you will be hurt!

[Aniphilia]

I just did a lot of research into mental instabilty and particularly aspects of bipolar's and it sounds similar/like warning signs. Just keep your boundries. Matters of the heart are supported by open lines of communication. All else such as boundries and goals and spirtuality and the ablility to function in society are other factors. I have some experience in what your telling us here but its still so new as you havent been 'with' him long.
From the countless hours I have spent reading accounts and stories from those who are in love with someone that displays bipolar, I see in your post many signs of that personality.

I could point them all out but it would take a while. Just be well informed, your heart is on the line.

[wally123]

Thank you very much for your replies. Aniphilia, I will research bipolar, thank you for mentioning it. I've spent some time researching mental disabilities but could never quite figure out what could be wrong with him.
Unfortunately he doesn't want to see a psychiatrist, so I will never be sure about his specific disorder. I know, I should be less attached to him and I will definitely work on that but at the same time, I want to make him feel better
at least a bit. Maybe I could get him to see someone who could help him. Seems to be the only possible way for him to get better.