My girlfriend's friend.

[Smoker]

My girlfriend met this girl and we all started hanging out. Her friend kept wanting to drink and get messed up around us and spend the night in our room and stuff. I told my girlfriend she should talk about having a threesome with the friend and my girlfriend said she would. But every time the friend would want to hang out or spend the night my girlfriend would try to avoid her staying but in a passive aggressive kind of way. I always told my girlfriend SHE needed to say something to initiate it because she was her friend but she said she was too scared.

I really liked her friend, even more than my girlfriend. I think we have a lot more in common plus shes way cuter but mostly cause shes way awesome. One night after my girlfriend had her friend leave in her usual passive aggressive manor i decided to follow my heart and tell her friend how i felt. They were co workers and the friend decided her loyalties should remain with my girlfriend. But i feel like the fact that they were co workers and we were already dating made her choice a foregone conclusion. But i also feel like that she maybe liked me cause we were always hanging out and she would always want to stay over. Her friend also ended up quitting her job the next day.

Now i lost my girlfriend over this because i risked everything and apparently lost. What should i have done different? Was i lead along or was i just misinterpreting the situation? Should i have followed my heart and risked it all or should i have been like a "good boyfriend" and remained the current situation and settled? I've been wanting to talk to her friend but how long i should wait before i approach her? Is it possible that the friend might like me but was forced to act against it because of the politics of the situation? I try to justify it and say its my girlfriends fault for not talking to her friend about it but i know its not her fault. I really like her friend and the weight of it all is over bearing....

[motty]

You got in too deep, which girl wants to hear that her boyfriend wants her friend more than her? You hurt her feelings. She may also be thinking if you felt that way and acted on it while you were in a relationship with her friend, then there is no future with you as you may do the same thing to her once a cuter and more awesome girl comes along. In my opinion, threesomes normally turn out sour because one of the original couple start liking the third person more than their partner.

[magnolia6548]

Ah man, you def shouldnt have went there....if you are always chasing something better, and new then it will really be hard for you to have a good steady relationship. I have met far too many people who got tired of being "comfortable" with who they were dating and it has ruined their relationships. If you love your girlfriend you shouldn't have went there.

[vashti]

lol

what a dummy.

[eonbar]

follow your heart?
follow your dick more like...

[girl68]

Seriously you don't know what you did wrong? There isn't hope for you then man.

[doppelgaenger]

you're being criticized because it is common sense that threesomes are a bit taboo and typically viewed as immoral and you don't seem to 'get' that. honestly, if you couldn't it figure out yourself how disrespectful you've been to your GF, you should avoid sticking your penis in any woman at all costs. if you had any amount of empathy, you'd have thought twice about asking her after putting yourself in her shoes. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't appreciate it if she told you to ask one of your horny male friends to help you toss her on the spit roast.

[vertical_sky]

That was just idiotic, Smoker.

I'm not against threesomes per say... Some people really want them, in a similar line to a fetish, and see them as separate from their feelings for their primary partner. However, YOUR line of thinking seemed to be more "I want this girl," not "I want a threesome." You wanted the friend more than your girlfriend, but didn't want to give up your girlfriend, so you tried to get into the friend's pants through the back door.

In the future, just freaking break up with your girlfriend. Don't use the threesome as some sort of propeller into a relationship with the third, or your girlfriend as a safe bet in case the friend isn't actually interested.

[SimplySam]

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. It's natural human instinct to wants what we can;'t have and to want what's new. Knowing this when you move ahead, you won't allow it to happen again. Consider it a good life lesson.

[hello1]

Yeah you obviously did not love your ex and the threesome was your way of keeping in a relationship and having fun with a woman on the side. Next time don't be scared of being alone and just end it

[lovenInsp]

You wanted her friend, and still don't understand why you lost your gf?

[MerryH]

What should i have done different?

Seriously? You honestly don't know why this all blew up in your face? Okay, I'm going to spell it out for you.

You should not have pressured your girlfriend into a three way when she clearly wasn't comfortable with it. You should not have used a threeway as a way to get to her friend. You should have broken up with your girlfriend when you realized you liked someone else more. You should have waited until you were single for a while before trying to initiate something with the other girl.

I'm certain that you don't have a chance with the other girl. She knows you are a scumbag who tried to cheat on his girlfriend. She has morals (I know this because the first thing she did was tell her friend that you were trying to get in her pants, good for her!) so she would not want you, a cheating dickhead who is apparently really clueless about how to treat people.

[Kaius]

Threesomes are for people who just want sex, and don't mind sharing partners.
If you are into that kinda stuff, and your girlfriend isn't, then it's not gonna work.
Why have a girlfriend when you just wanna bone other girls? Just stay single man.