Well, it appears im stuck. Help, anyone?

[petertown]

Ok. So i met a girl at school about 7 months ago, who happened to work at the store at which i had just got a job at the time. Thinks were great, we had fun and were laughing and smiling everythime we talked. I learned that she was in a long distance relationship with a guy in missouri, whom she met when she lived in Calgary before they both moved away. They were only friends in Calgary but started the relationship after they had both left.

Just to my luck, i fell in love with her. I cant stop thinking about her, and everytime im with her i feel like im the happiest person in the world. I let a friend of hers in on the secret that i loved emily(the girl). The friend, named Robin, told Emily at work that i loved her, and some of the sweet things that i had said to Robin regarding Emily. Emily said she was flattered, but wanted to stay friends because of three reasons. She liked the guy from missouri alot, she would feel awkward because we are friends, and that i am not confident. She also mentioned to Robin that she wished i had told her myself if i loved her as much as i do, and when Robin asked "So you want him to like you then", she replied no however hesitantly.

I myself feel like i should have been the one to tell emily how ifeel. It has been several months since, and my feelings only continue to grow. People around me tell me i should tell her myself and be totally honest, because i will regret not doing it in the future. But i had worked hard to get the friendship back to comfortable after the rejection, and i fear telling her may ruin it. Should i tell her? help

[ltj5253]

well i can tell you one thing. love hurts. seriously, dont waste your time on girls that just want to be friends. its called the friend trap. and it is very hard to get out of the friend trap, after many unsuccessful efforts, i gave up on women who just want to be friends. theyre a waste of your time. there are millions of women out there. dont fret over this one. and just so you know, now that your classified as a friend in her book, that means pretty much that she doesnt want to even be friends with you. thats the woman's soft way of saying no. so dont expect anything from her. let it slide


awan

[petertown]

well i can tell you one thing. love hurts. seriously, dont waste your time on girls that just want to be friends. its called the friend trap. and it is very hard to get out of the friend trap, after many unsuccessful efforts, i gave up on women who just want to be friends. theyre a waste of your time. there are millions of women out there. dont fret over this one. and just so you know, now that your classified as a friend in her book, that means pretty much that she doesnt want to even be friends with you. thats the woman's soft way of saying no. so dont expect anything from her. let it slide


awan

Not even a friendship? I mean we have hung out a couple times since and its been good.

[petertown]

Anybody else. Sorry to bump but i need more advice then forget about her.

[sfalexi]

No. Not even friendship. Because you may THINK you can just be freinds, but it'll kill you that you're only friends. And every time you hang out all you'll keep thinking is, "This sucks. Why am I only her friend? We get along so well . . . why does she have to be dating this guy and not me . . . blah blah blah" and the list goes on and on.

Not worth it. It'll be months and months of aggravation holding you back from asking other girls out and finding what could be a GOOD relationship.

[petertown]

but the feelings are so deep. is it possible to move on? i cant picture that

[sfalexi]

Yes it is. You don't see it now as any of us wouldn't in the very beginning. But down the road you'll one day be thinking and realize that when you think of this girl, you don't feel for her like you used to. And you'll say, "Guess I'm finally over her." And then you'll see a hot girl walking around and you'll fantasize about spanking her ass with a hollow piece of 2" pvc pipe while she's smoking a cigar. And then you'll KNOW you're over her.

If you hang out with this girl, it'll take the feelings (from a mathematical standpoint) probably about three times or more as long to dissapear than if you don't remain her good friend and don't spend any more time with her than necessary.

This doesn't mean you have to be a dick to her, but don't go out with her outside of work. And if she asks you why, be honest. "I'm sorry, but I remember you saying that you wouldn't want to be more than friends, and to be honest I don't think I could hang out with you if we're just 'friends'. "

Rod Steele

[petertown]

Would'nt telling her myslef bring more closure with another rejection? i mean that ill make the friendship awkward and it will naturally die i guess..its not like i asked her out, the friend just told her how i felt and asked how she might feel..

[ltj5253]

listen peter. ive been in the same exact situation as you. ive fallen for a woman EXACTLY like the one you described, minus the calgary and the missuri places. haha. we hung out many a times. and now we dont even talk. this was 2 months ago with this girl. its not worth the heartbreak. i would sit in bed all night thinking about her. i would work all day thinking about nothing but her. and it was all just a lost hope. once your a FRIEND in her book, unless you want to continue to feel like you do with no chance of ever having her, just get away. im damn sure that there is a woman within 5 miles of you that would be interested in an actual relationship with you. i know you dont know me, but please take my advice. ive been there done that.


awan

[sfalexi]

its not like i asked her out, the friend just told her how i felt and asked how she might feel..

Well then go ask her out face to face. Why are you leaving things up to friends? Grow a pair, Peter. If she rejects you, then that's that. It'll suck, but hey, I think ninety five percent of america has been rejected at some point in their life. If she says yes, go out. If she's interested ENOUGH to say yes to a date, then go on one and maybe you guys will get to know each other even better.

Alexi

[petertown]

update. her screenname on msn today was boys make me sad. That says to me she might have broken up with the missouri guy, and when i asked what happened she said she didnt want to talk about it. Should i wait or is it time to pounce

[Heddy]

Be a friend to her at this time and make her feel better then after awhile when she's feeling netter ask her out. I fu pounce on her now then she will reject u because she's still hurting but if u be a good friend and look after her and make her feel good then she will associate good feelings with you and bad feelings with ex. Guess who wins?