Crush on this woman but bit scared to ask her out

[Albinoni]

Hi all here. Ok for quite sometime now I have had this crush on this woman that works for a bank here in Perth Australia. After work normally on Fridays I go to a coffee Cafe and normally catch up with friends there for a coffee and now and again she's also there with her lady friends from work, not all the time but occasionally. On the other note sometimes I bump into her in the Borders book store in perth now and again too, mainly after work on the weekdays. We've made eye contact a few times as well but nothing serious.

I dont know what it is but I am just attracted to this woman, its soemthing about her I like.

Now here the other story (perhaps you can answer this one for me). A while back i was in Borders Book Store looking/browsing at some magazines on the shelf, and she came around the corner and saw me, she quickly turned around and walked the other way like feeling embarrased or what ever. Does this mean she hates my guts and find me unattractive (I am definately not unattractive and have alot of complments from women telling me I am very handsome and thats the honest truth) but it made me feel down when she did this i.e quickly turned the other way.

I really want to ask her out for coffee and lets say start off as a friend first and take it from there but I am bit scared to do so.

Advice please.

[shylurker]

judging by the way she avoided you, looks like she recognizes that you have a crush on her. here is the scenario, assuming she has picked up on your signals:

a.) she doesn't want to be asked out by you at all. solution: do nothing knowing she will say no. or, ask her just so that you don't have regrets later on.

b.) she wouldn't mind being asked out by you but knows she can't say yes because of a pending situation with someone else. solution: wait patiently.

i think i would just wait and see if she sends me signals later on.

[xxazurexx]

I really want to ask her out for coffee and lets say start off as a friend first ...

NO!! You don't be a friend and when you are looking for more!!!

This is being a friend to her and under 'false pretences' and with a motive of getting closer and hoping she will fall for you. She may NOT fall for you....then you are gonna end up like the other love sick puppies on here who are stuck in the friendzone!!!

If you want to be with her, ask her out and NOW. Make it CLEAR and from the start, you'd like to date her.

[HeartIsAching]

If you want to ask her out, I'd say ASK. You can't get the girl if you don't play the game.

The worst she'll say is "No." Just man up and do it.

[Albinoni]

judging by the way she avoided you, looks like she recognizes that you have a crush on her. here is the scenario, assuming she has picked up on your signals:

a.) she doesn't want to be asked out by you at all. solution: do nothing knowing she will say no. or, ask her just so that you don't have regrets later on.

b.) she wouldn't mind being asked out by you but knows she can't say yes because of a pending situation with someone else. solution: wait patiently.

i think i would just wait and see if she sends me signals later on.

Hi to answer your post:

1. How do you or I know that she doesnt want to be asked out. It doesnt mean that during the time she saw me in the book shop and quickly turned the way means she dislikes me, rememebr women are very differentt o men, they also think very different to us. I got feedback re this from a female aquintance/friend of mine and she said to me that if she found a guy to be quite attractive and in somewhat she liked him and saw him in a book shop around rhe corney she would quickly shy off and she to me some
women will do this and quickly shy off. Plus she doesnt know I have a crush on her. Also I have spoken to her once and she was infact quite pleasant to talk to, not rude at all.

My lady friend said to me go and ask her out, do it and face it, whats the worse she can say, yes or no, of yes than thats would be great and take it from there and if no well than move on with your life.

[OkieDokie]

She MAY have just remembered something at that moment and turned around to get it before she forgot again. I know I forget things at stores and when I remember I make a B line for that area. It's not like she was sitting there reading, saw you, then ran. Is Perth that small of a place she'd remember seeing you a handful of times and from those times she got the impression you liked her? She works at a bank, probably sees hundreds of people every day. Do you stare her down or scare her off in another way in those other encounters?

As for asking her or not asking her, you HAVE to ask her, otherwise how will you know?

[shylurker]

"I got feedback re this from a female aquintance/friend of mine and she said to me that if she found a guy to be quite attractive and in somewhat she liked him and saw him in a book shop around rhe corney she would quickly shy off and she to me some
women will do this and quickly shy off. Plus she doesnt know I have a crush on her. Also I have spoken to her once and she was infact quite pleasant to talk to, not rude at all."

the thing is, not all women are like the one you consulted. i don't disagree that some women are shy, and are likely to be shied off in that situation. it is also true that when women are attracted to men, they try to get their attention. when they like you, and if they want to be chatted up, they will get in your vicinity, hoping they chat you up.

anyway, take it for what it is worth. good luck.

[Boisdevie]

For gods sake, get a ****ing grip. Ask her out and stop being such a ****ing pussy. Seize the day.